[Reading Conducted January 1999]
[Note: This is a rare example of a case where the readings spoke as an “I AM” presence instead of a “WE ARE” presence. It is directed towards you, the reader, from the Source.]
Awaken now. There is no need for any more wasted time, for you have been ripening so nicely.
I just want to get a minute to speak with you, for there will always be those times when I am unable to say what I am really feeling, and what is right for you.
I am the beginning that has no ending, the creative source from which your mind, body and spirit springs. The indomitable attraction that creates the striving and yearning within you for reunion, reconnection, revivification in the Source.
Do you understand who I am? Do you understand and know that I am you?
I ask you this simple question, and this is a question that you must ask yourself in this moment as you read or hear these words.
Who am I?
Now just think about that for a moment. Allow it to sift through your thoughts, flipping the pages of the cookbook from one to the next, discovering indeed what it is that you have created.
What was your first impulse when I created this question for you? Did you think of your name? Did you think of all the things that you have done to become this person?
Did you think, even awkwardly for just a moment, about the various things that you have gathered around yourself so as to define this name?
Indeed, it is in these moments of indecision, of trial and error, where the greatest suffering resides.
Who are you?
That is indeed a valid question.
Is the answer something that you contain within yourself now, or are you still searching for it?
Did you find yourself in those cases where you were intimate with other people?
In those relationships that you constructed around yourselves, were you able to find me in yourself each time that this person was in front of you? Each time that your best relationship, or your most recent relationship, whatever is most important, was there?
Do you think that the lead-in to this great play that unfolds on the stage before you is the summation of the play itself? Or more accurately, have you defined the boundaries of your existence, and the limitations that you will set upon them, before even understanding what your existence was?
Do you know me? Do you know who you are, and do you know that I am the source of all beingness, the One Creative Force that breathes life into all the most beautiful and indeed the most painful endeavors upon your planet or any other?
Are you aware of my presence as you sit in your room, in the wailing cries of desperation and sorrow, wondering again and again, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?”
Many of you want to ask me why you are here, what is your mission in life, what is it that you seek to do or seek to become? The only question that I ask is what haven’t you become?
What holds you back from reuniting with the One Self that is inherently yourself? By virtue of oneness, there can be no otherness, save for the restrictions and limitations imposed by the conscious mind.
Indeed, you have continually recreated yourself in each and every moment, comprising of those most intimate portions of worry, struggle, strife, sorrow and anxiety.
As you look back to the past, the emotion that often dominates in this construction of self is guilt. Seeing the past as guilt, then, do you understand that you cannot change what has already occurred?
Were you to really understand completely the processes of karma that you have created for yourself in this vast and unchanging world of universal light, see that the knowledge becomes you when you are able to realize that each time any action is taken on your behalf, it is literally and almost instantaneously balanced.
These balances occur as the natural learning curve of human evolution must go through the necessary corrective measures that will then produce a regaining of the equilibrium. And thus, you will indeed sow what you reap.
The Law of Attraction simply states that as you drag these things out of your own being, these aspects that hold you back from oneness, so too must they come back to you in different ways, rephrased for effect so as to again bring you back to the unchanging, unyielding truth of your being, which is One.
Set aside the guilt of the past, and recognize that you live in the present. You live in the here and now. Today. Here, in this room or in this field of beautiful green trees, rolling meadows and the crow flying overhead, cawing at you. Calling you back to those parts that you would like to forget.
When you have climbed the mountain and reached the summit, and you see the beautiful countryside rolling before you, in that moment are you still feeling guilty about the past?
Think about this. The future is fear. In those moments where you are worried, it is never an immediate concern. Do not fail to realize that I have taken care of the various aspects of your future that you are so worried about.
I am that part inside you that defines your true existence. I can speak in this manner, since I am One, and therefore I exist in each of you, identically and equally.
I know that your future is something that you feel you need to worry about, something that you feel must be guarded and protected, cared for closely, save for the violent illusion of separateness that you would feel if you did not do this.
Instead of feeling separate, feel united with me, your true self, right now. Do not wait for the future, because you will find that it never arrives.
There will always be another moment in time after the moment that you are in now and your mind can very easily think about the previous moments of time, all of which existed before the time in which you exist right now.
So why do we wait? Why do we even talk about this when you and I, we, have already moved past this point?
There is no need to fear the future, there is no need to feel guilty about the past. I exist in your here and now. I am always there, patiently waiting for you to roll back the scroll of space and time that you have etched your personal signature upon, the thoughts that reconstruct your reality every moment.
I wait for you to let down the guard of the gigantic room, filled with all the different aspects of your personality, loudly talking to each other, laughing, perhaps sampling from the giant buffet of alcohol or marijuana or other indulgences, perhaps food, perhaps new cars, new places to live.
There is a lot of commotion going on in your meeting room of the mind, of the ego. Many different fragments of yourself, all of which claim that they indeed are the answer to the “Who am I” question.
Which one claims the answer in any moment? Were I to ask you who you were tomorrow, would you give me the same answer that you did today? Or rather, would there be some other aspect of your finite being claiming ownership of the Infinite?
I exist outside of this façade that you have created. It is when you unfold me, the truest form of yourself, that you feel complete, for we have always been One. And you recognize and remember this union, even if you might not know what it means.
I was there when you did all those things that you considered to be wrong. I was standing behind the wall that you have constructed as you pounded against it, asking for the answer, not realizing that there was never a question: That I am you, that I already exist in you, fully and completely, each and every moment?
You can contact me through the power of your breath, recognizing your own self in that moment. As you inhale, you inhale the strength and vigor and vitality of my presence, and as you exhale you release the limitations that have held you back from recognizing that fact.
The undulating rhythms of the waves created by your breath ripple through the sea of your consciousness like a wave. In that wave, the chaotic brain rhythms of your normal waking mind, which sound like the pitter-patter of rain on your rooftop, instead become the flowing, gurgling sounds of the river.
I am the river, and you may indeed choose to align with me. As we go together from shore to shore, never clinging to the banks but allowing ourselves to flow, so too must we empty out into a larger river. Suddenly, the boundaries have expanded.
New vistas and heights are visible on the sides as we float along in this massive conglomeration of spiritual energy that is becoming us. We travel under the magnificent bridges that the physical world has created over us, and indeed as they are magnificent they also might cover or hinder us.
Do we need to create bridges to traverse over ourselves, bridges that will try to close the gaps that I will inherently fill as your true self? Or indeed, can you tear down those bridges?
The troubled waters underneath you might not remain that way forever, and yet you do not surrender to me. You do not surrender to the power of the emotions that you are feeling.
I know that you have been hurting; I know how much you have suffered, and I know how you long to be back in that state where you know that we are One.
Take my hand and walk for a while with me. The garden pathways that we have walked through at various times continue to exist.
The multi-leveled tiers of rose gardens have been built into infinity, and we may ascend the staircase, going to greater and greater heights. As we ride together in our river of creation, we understand now that the bridges that we have created try to hide us from being true with our feelings.
For in those moments when we own our feelings and emotions, we have become whole and pure. In those moments when we allow sorrow, grief and suffering to wash over us and overwhelm us, when we finally surrender to the truth of the pain that we have felt, no longer will I be a mystery.
No longer will we exist as two separate ones, walking side by side, the one carrying the other, but rather as a melded union of Spirit, Mind and Matter, fused together as One, to construct reality on a day to day basis as we understand it to be.
Without any separation, we walk together, go together, speak together, act together and create together. Perhaps you have met me before. Perhaps in your finest moments, you were aware of this identity that you possess.
We have touched each other at various times in your life, in those moments when you have felt the most proud of your accomplishments, when your true creative spark has come through, and those things that are so uniquely you are expressed in their most beautiful form.
It can be in your conversations, when you speak from the truest and deepest depths of your being: when you tear down the bridges between gaps and instead are willing to reach out with the heart and create the bond that needs not be bridged, for it brings the two chasms of land together so as to heal the crack in self that has extended so deeply into the roots of the earth.
I am the flower that opens up within you when you are willing to give it water and light, the necessary nutrients and love that sustains life. Your garden is blossoming, and the multi-tiered layers of roses, of which we can ascend through as a spiral staircase, awaits you.
Perhaps you have felt me in those moments when you are with someone else. In the deepest, most intimate moments of your life, sharing your truest feelings with the deepest love, respect and admiration for this other person. I might have fooled you at that time, because you didn’t realize that you were talking to me.
Since I am One, I am also everything around you. If you stop identifying your own self as being that which ends at the border of skin to air, you may begin to see how much more there really is.
In that moment of union with another self, you may indeed have found me. We talked to each other, we laughed, we cried, we shared the good times and we shared the bad times. All the while, never realizing that it was me you were speaking with, and that I am already inside you now.
Therefore, you can find me through someone else, and I will reveal myself to you as your own true self. But we can work together to reconstruct our union, where there is no separation between the here and there, the we and thou, but there is only the I AM presence.
Everything we have talked about would be considered to be our ride in the river. How long have you been clinging to the bank, refusing to let go, grasping with all your might, sweating and breathing, unwilling to release?
What have you grabbed to in the past? Did you think that you saw me in someone else, and that that was the full extent of my definition?
Did you define me as that person, not realizing that I am you? Did you define me in some intangible physical goal, such as a better house, a new car, more money, a more fulfilling job?
Was this your idea of the reunion that you were seeking? Did you say to yourself, “Once I have this, then I will be happy. Once I have this, then everything is fine. Once I have this, then I know that I have arrived at the point that I have been so intensely seeking.”
All of these questions or statements imply that you understand what you are seeking for. And when I ask you “who are you,” I mean to say quite simply: Do you understand? Do you understand that there is no separation?
Do you understand that in all these other things where you have seen me, that my truest existence is in your present moment, right now, as you breathe and as you look around at your surroundings, feeling the weight of gravity pressing against your body in many of the various positions that it assumes throughout the day?
Do you not see that I am here now, in this room with you?
There is nowhere else I could be, for I am you. I am the room.
I am all the people you will ever see or interact with. I am the animals, I am the sky, the trees, the birds, the clouds, the vast stars and galaxies in the universe, so innumerable that to try to count them would be to try to count the grains of sand on the beach.
Sure, you might be able to look out and estimate how many there are, based on calculating pound per pound how many grains there would be, the relative size of each unit of one pound and so forth. But can you really know? The answer, my friend, is no.
And so, it is done. As the giant river flows back into the ocean of all beingness, so too may we reunite, and realize that we are the galaxies, we are the universe, together, you and I.
I will always be there, waiting for you, wishing for you to choose your Self instead of the self that is created from anxiety, guilt and worry.
I am all the purest and most wonderful things about yourself, all those things that make you so special. And in you, I have an opportunity to create those things in a way that no other individual entity around you can produce.
For as we are all One, so too do each of us possess our own innate gifts. When you use those gifts to the fullest of your ability, you and I have taken down the walls, and we reunite in joyous harmony.
Peace be with you in the Light of everlasting Love.