8/25/99: Reading: Clearing “Sex Karma” Part II

 

ABSTRACT: This is a 20+ – page document that explores the incredible, thematic dreams and psychic readings surrounding my own, possibly final epic struggle with sexual desire. Right when I thought I had it knocked, a temptation was offered to me that was quite attractive.

I suddenly was willing to pass up the spiritually sanctioned, long-term, very deep celibate relationship with Sabrina in favor of something that would bring quick physical gratification.

I was really convinced that this new situation would be right for me, and most of the people around me had said so as well. Little did I realize how my unfolding karmic process was truly at work! My ultimate conclusion was to stay in the relationship with Sabrina and not veer off into other involvements.

This conscious decision proved to be a very large karmic rectification, whose importance was far greater than I could have realized while I was in the middle of all of it. {Also, we will see the ongoing metaphor of the “negative communion” here, expressed as different types of foods mimicking the bread and wine.)

 

Thursday 8 / 5 / 99 – 8:25 a.m.

At the end of this dream, I just realized that the whole Junior High School – style building I had been in was built on a soil foundation, and it turned to mud. The bottom two floors were overflowing, and students were trying to escape. I was just very glad that I had parked on higher ground, and had gone to the upper floors.

D: I am going in for another. I am very tired.

[Note: Another prophecy about Earth Changes. Also, the Cayce Readings confirmed that mud had to do with the carnal forces.]

[Note: This night I would go to a concert and meet a young girl who I had met before. A male friend of hers and myself all took off a majority of our clothes and dove into the ocean. The whole thing felt very wonderful to me, and made me temporarily think that she was a romantic interest. The energy was definitely there between the two of us, and I kissed her on the cheek when we parted that night, with the idea of when I could see her again having been loosely discussed between the two of us.]

 

Friday 8 / 6 / 99 – 5:52 a.m.

What we have here is a very, very intense dream, which is about really finalizing my split from the high school archetype. In this particular case, there was a part with the grill outside in Scotia. I hid my bicycle near the grill, only to later see that it looked like a tank underneath the grill. My bicycle was like one of those beach cruisers like the one at J’s barn. It now belonged to M next door. He wasn’t taking good care of it, so I decided to start using it myself.

[Note: The bicycle is almost always a metaphor of the spiritual vehicle within the self that will engage the Ascension process. So, I still had some work to do here.]

I knew that if I left it there and it appeared to be locked up, I could come back and get it later. A real skinny guy with a lot of attitude and ego, wearing glasses, was the one who was working the grill there.

The oft-cited problems with your people can be understood in one single, sudden moment of clarity. So when we want to adjust someone to the reality of who and what we are, then we never have to be content with the old answers anymore. Somehow, some way, somewhere, we simply become more and more interested in those forces that coalesce within to create positive changes. Now we can go out and watch the rocket scientists at work. We can see the glory of the summer sun as it basks us with its majesty. We can find the beauty in a child’s touch, in the soft ebb and flow of marine wetlands, ocean waves, lakes and the like. We can explore the deep majesty of trees, and the cool reality of flowing, rippling, hazy patterns of grass.

[Note: Obviously some of this symbolism was stored in my mind from the incredible nighttime swim in the ocean that I had just been through the night before.]

All the while, we can see with our eyes within, and know that it is on this level that we may best indoctrinate ourselves with the new truths seeping in from the collective consciousness of the Oversoul: that self that is all things, for each individual entity, or should we say apparently individual entity. And then, when you realize that each Oversoul could be assigned to more than one person, you really have to start busting your brain cells to figure it out.

Granules of truth may indeed be given, similar to how Rosalyn must once again rise. The entire affair predates the entire set of opportunities that we have been speaking of as occurring in your near future. And so, each and every time that a killer strain occurs, we can wipe it out with the foreknowledge of everlasting life and goodwill to men and women and all other entities, both temporal and non-temporal. We can indeed become the spirit of the One in thought, principle and in action, and allow that knowledge to permeate in a way that we are not now capable of seeing.

[Note: I have no knowledge of a Rosalyn in my life.]

Discovery Channel still has a few more bits of news that would interest you. Leonardo Da Vinci mentioned this cycle as well, and that is important.

Anyway, before this bicycle thing, there was an earlier section where my brother was playing with some sort of a musical consortium. The drumset that they had there looked really cool. It had a splash cymbal, a trash cymbal, several cymbals in the front like that drummer had. So, I think all that might have something to do with me seeing that jazz band down at the Oceanfront last night, and just getting hip to the little tiny kit that the drummer had. Although I must say that it didn’t sound anywhere near as good as that other drummer’s kit, who had it tuned in a very interesting way with pinstripe heads at low settings.

[Note: Remember that almost every time I see music or a drum set in these readings, it means my creative and spiritual work with this channeling process.]

The spindle fibers indeed show us that the collective consciousness of humanity is about to metastasize into its new birth. And thus, we thank you for giving us this opportunity to prepare the others upon your planetary sphere in such a way as to create massive changes in a very short little period of time.

Now, you can relax and be still with the knowledge that the prophecies will come to pass, and never again worry or have any reason to fear about it.

There was a point earlier in the dream after the music section. Let’s finish that part first. It was obviously my brother’s band, but it wasn’t his original band. They were really making a good effort to play, and I felt like I wanted to get down there, sit on the drums and play myself. But then it seemed like they were all talking to each other, and I didn’t want to be disruptive, because I knew that what I wanted to do on the drums would make too much noise. So, I couldn’t just do that, because it wasn’t my gig. I am actually not sure if my brother was involved, come to think of it, but it seemed like he was at least at one point.

It is pretty amazing that he was able to keep such a good self-concept and get girls in the middle of an acne condition that made my condition pale in comparison. I am remembering pictures of him in his band where he was playing, and his face was so broken out that he looked ill, like he was diseased.

D: I did program myself to do this reading in the morning, and I got a definite confirmation when I woke up that this was one of mine and not for the client, which was interesting and actually quite nice. Doing it at different times each day, or at least breaking it up like this once, does make me feel more rested and less responsible.

I cued on the words “Digress Charges.” Let’s see if we can expand that into a sentence.

We digress for a moment to tell you that the charges levied against the Inner Self have almost been cleared. There is indeed a finish line to this process of personal initiation, and you are getting closer and closer. That should interest you somewhat, if not greatly and tremendously at this point.

Knowing and living the sacramental nature of all things does not mean that you have to act like a Buddhist monk. It simply means that you are at peace with yourself and with everyone else, and that is indeed a wonderful place to be. It is not some overly high goal that can only be reached if you are the strictest of strict monks, or otherwise falling into a deliberately chaste and celibate pattern. Indeed, it is to have the joy and glory of being a duly appointed representative of the One, an appointee who indeed has great wisdom and knowledge in the reincarnative sense of the word, who comes in with a powerful mission.

When you can fully remember who and what you are, the mission is largely completed, and that excites me greatly. We can see the forest from the trees, and chart out the implications of your actions in the future, as you would term it, and that is indeed very exciting.

So yes, all the main metaphors for dreams came out, such as the music. Other people were playing, and when they stopped I had a conversation with them about my own playing. But, I didn’t need to physically mount the drumset in order to do that.

D: I am thinking back to how nice it was to go into the ocean last night with the girl from the farm, and her friend. My heart just about stopped beating altogether when she got almost completely naked before going in. (She had on a bra and underwear, but nothing was left to the imagination, especially once she got it wet. I couldn’t help but look a few times, and she didn’t seem to mind that at all – it was all very erotic.) And there was just such a peacefulness associated with it for me.

D: I just thought of the words, “The Secret Place of the Hidden God,” which I believe has to do with the King’s Chamber in the Pyramid.

D: An experience like that definitely goes a long way towards healing some of my adolescent angst and frustrations. Everything about last night was the embodiment of that principle of living life as though it were sacred. It was pretty incredible all the way around.

[Note: The Pyramidal symbolism that the readings gave me here actually has to do with this “sex question” being the final rectification of karmic issues that stemmed all the way back to the Ra-Ta period. In the King’s Chamber, you have to focus upon all of the darkest aspects of self. I didn’t realize the connection while I was going along dictating this stuff.]

After messing around with the bicycle section, I did then find my way back into the main high school building. It seemed like I was there, even though I was also trying to get there and worrying about being late. I knew that my homeroom was all the way down on the far left hand side of the hallway, actually right next to where my locker was. I don’t think I ever had a homeroom there in real life, but I did have an English class with Miss H there.

Anyway, as I came back to the school and walked around a little bit, everyone was outside the classrooms. I knew something was going on, and I saw Sabrina. She looked very beautiful, and she smiled and waved at me.

[tape flips]

So, as we walked down this hallway, I realized that it was the very last day of high school, before we were going to graduate. The room that I knew to be my homeroom was cleared out completely. There were all of these little kids being moved into it. I realized that I couldn’t even go back there. So, I got the idea that it was just almost like a symbolic day of school, where even though you showed up you really didn’t even have to stay there. There was really nothing to do except to finalize the end. I went down the stairwell, got to the lower level and for some reason, I had this clown cigarette that blows the talcum powder smoke when you blow on it. I blew on it, except that this time it created both talcum powder smoke as well as confetti.

Other high school people such as S B were behind me, and they laughed and wondered how I could have gotten all of that confetti to come out of there and stuff. I tried to show them a cigarette and then it seemed that the holder for the confetti was externalized from the cigarette. It became much bigger than the original cigarette, some fourteen inches long and an inch wide with spiral grooves going down like a giant corkscrew. It was made with a very light pink plastic material, almost clear.

D: That was pretty much when I woke up, and I could tell that this was not a client dream but was much more one of my own. And that’s fine. I am very glad to be at the point where my dreams are featuring me graduating. Maybe once I get through visualizing everyone in the yearbook, the next step is going to be to visualize my graduation.

12:30 p.m.

This was all about some sort of underground movement. There was all sorts of weird stuff going on, in fact. There was a lot of interaction with my neighbors B and M at 621. It seemed that B and M lived in my living room, and had an apartment off to the side, just like I did. I was in harmony with the other people living in the house. It looked a little like Jim’s. As a result, B and M and their kids never came out unless we were gone.

[8/16: Again, synchronicity as I transcribe this work. Earlier tonight I talked to my neighbor M for a while, and he was in an extreme state of intoxication. He tried to get me to take him to the store to buy cigarettes, and I refused, telling him that he was very drunk and I was not comfortable with it. He said something like “I gave you the chance to be nice to me” and then pointed his finger at me in anger. Later he was screaming with great vulgarity to his wife about how he was going to rip my head off. I feel very proud of myself for standing up to him and not allowing myself to be taken advantage of.]

This dream just had some very, very strange things going on. There were these holes in the yard that M wanted me to fill; that was one part. We were trying to find the appropriate things to fill them with. There was another hole that had extra dirt on the outside, and I was trying to use that to fill this old hole that looked like a tree stump had been there. This was all in the front of 621. That idea didn’t work as well as I wanted it to.

At the end, there was a very strange thing happening while I was watching some kind of a TV. Even before that, there was another part where I was trying to play my drums. I think it may have been partly with a band and partly solo. Leif L, the bass player from my mother’s old band, might have been the bass player again. We were having a real difficulty getting it off the ground. People stopped me from playing because it was out of sync. I was trying to talk or do something else while I was playing, and they told me that I was slowing down as a result. I needed to be very careful of my time. So I agreed, and said that I would try to work on that.

[Note: Drums and music have to do with my channeling, my creative work. So, I was being alerted to something definitely being out of sync here.]

The Bible is not just any other book. Though it has its contaminations, it is indeed a fantastic unit of appropriate size. I do again suggest that you spend some time studying it in amongst your other workings.

D: Well, I can work that in too.

Thank you.

[Note: I believe that their real purpose for saying this was for me to consider Biblical wisdom concerning the pleasures of the flesh.]

The whole vibe of this dream was just the peak of weirdness. It was definitely spurred on by my meeting this guy today who looked a little bit like Baryshnikov. He was one of the three of us who swam in the ocean last night. As we tried to fill this hole, we needed rocks. I suggested that since the river was only a few blocks down, we should get rocks from there to fill it. They didn’t seem to want to expend the energy just to go that short distance.

[Note: In other words, there was no motivation to fill the holes, to make growth.]

On the side of 621 that we would never see, the driveway next door, there was a piece of three quarter inch plywood lying up against the wall with a crack in it. There was some sort of written message on a piece of paper that we had used to plug up the crack. I couldn’t remove that either.

[Note: So, the cracks, or the wounds within self, were not being healed. We will see the cracked plywood in a future dream as well.]

Everyone was pretty dissatisfied with the drumming, and that was too bad. Even though I was playing and doing a solo, I couldn’t hear myself. Then at the end, it was back on a TV again. It got to a point where there was some interesting-looking music on TV, but I couldn’t hear it. So, I was trying to fiddle with the TV to get it to sync up.

Everything about this guy who worked around my neighbors was really cool. He was able to do what he needed to do without getting turned off by them, and he was just a very interesting person.

Look. [The mother who lived across the street from you as a child] is here for some reason. You will have to deal with that case as it arises in your patterns of forgiveness.

D: Yes, I do remember that. You are right. There were some times when she yelled at me and I got very upset with her. (At one point she actually called me a “fat ass,” and I knew that she was a Christian fundamentalist.) She was someone who I did not like for many years as I was growing up.

We trust that you will take care of this. Thank you.

D: Yeah, I can do that.

[Note: The following was a dialogue between two people that I could hear:]

Q: What are they trying to feed you?

A: Meatballs from the stove.

Q: Do you really think you ought to be eating that?

A: Obviously not.

Q: Why then have you continued?

A: I really don’t know the answer to that question.

[Transcription note: The synchronicity here was amazing. At the EXACT SECOND that I finished typing “Meatballs from the stove,” Apostol came and sat down in the chair next to me. He was eating a roast beef sandwich, for the first time that I have ever seen! I tried to explain the synchronicity to him, but he just didn’t seem to get it. The exactness of this synchronicity was nothing short of astounding.]

D: All right, I have got to get out of bed and start the day. It is 12:44.

[Note: The real metaphor of why I was shown this amazing synchronicity was to show me that I was the one eating of the flesh, the carnal pleasures. The synchronicity of Apostol’s arrival only cemented home the idea that he was the one partially responsible for getting me really revved up about doing something like this, with his daily obsessing on sex that I would see.]

[CONTEXT: Still feeling like I wanted to get something going with the girl I had met on Thursday night, I asked the forces for a dream that would specifically deal with the issue. I didn’t want anything but the truth. I was very much thinking that my opinions were right, and that getting a physical relationship would help to heal old sexual wounds that I have had for a long time. What follows is exactly what I got in this regard. It is quite surprising that even with the directness of the dream, I still was blinded by desire long enough to not fully see its point for another day or so afterwards. They also drew off of the same meat metaphor that had started to be used directly above here.]

 

Saturday 8 / 7 / 99 – 11:40 a.m.

The Great Human Meat Market

D: I didn’t realize how late it was. That is good.

This was a very, very long and epic dream. It started with a fishing pier that I was standing out on. Someone told me the idea about this great place that I could get in touch with, where they would talk about your spiritual growth. They were excited about this and gave me the address. A little later I ended up trying to drive wherever it was in my car.

When I got there, right away there was all this traffic, very congested. I didn’t like that.

D: I was hearing some quotes, so I have now assumed the proper positioning with the pillow and everything.

When I got to this place, there was this huge crowd of people in the street. I was trying to drive through them, but it took a long time and was very arduous. I did finally find a parking spot. I tried to go inside, and I did finally manage to do so. A whole bunch of different things happened before the end, when everything came together. Right off the bat, I had a really bad feeling about this place. It ended up that at the end, after a huge amount of plot development, that even though it was like a regular community that was supposed to be spiritual, they were actually killing people in large numbers and turning them into food. It was just like the Soylent Green movie, except that it was real.

One of the earliest things surrounding this was a trip that I made back to Sacandaga Elementary School. There was some sort of graduation event going on there. There was something that I needed to give to the office, some letter, and I had to run in and do it just before this thing in the cafeteria with all these little kids would release. I managed to get them this document just in time before the kids left. It definitely had another feel of graduation, and just getting away from school altogether.

[Note: An obvious reminder here is that leaving school has to do with transcending adolescent issues, such as sexuality, that were created at the time that the school was first attended.]

D: This is a really long dream. I am really surprised that I was asleep for this long. I went right back to bed at 8:30, so this was a three hour, solid block of sleep.

I don’t know if I am going to get a detailed blow-by-blow of this dream, because it was so long. Once I got there, my initial impression was that everything was really cool. There was a scene early on where I was trying to enjoy this place like the resort that it claimed to be, a spiritual retreat center. I went down to the Oceanfront, and they had a really nice view of the water. I sat out there and saw some others who I was talking to. There was a boat dock, and I knew that there was some boating going on.

[Note: So the dream even started to recreate the area where my temptation had happened!]

When I talked to people, there was definitely some sort of a background element of weirdness. I think I was talking to the waitresses who might have been serving people. When I was out on the dock and talking to the waitresses, that was my first clue that there was something really, really wrong going on here. Ultimately, it turned out that all the people who went there were eventually going to be killed and turned into meat!

There was definitely a very wealthy atmosphere about this place, like a Victorian resort hotel or country club. I believe that the next major section involved me going away from the dock and back into the building. I met up with a few others in my party. We then went to another aspect of this place that was being run. They were definitely interested in me and thought that I could be of great assistance to them in whatever fashion.

I was then led into this area that had a lot of darkness and was very shoddy – a whole different part of the building. They told me that they had living pigs there that they were turning into meat. I never saw the living pigs themselves, just the meat. The meat was very gross looking, sort of like chicken legs but they were very large – turkey sized or even bigger than that. It was all in this basement underground area like the boiler room in the old high school. Everything was dark, and the materials for construction were very shoddy. It just had a very seedy atmosphere. The meat wasn’t even wrapped in plastic or refrigerated – it was sitting on the dirty floor without any packaging at all.

There was a beagle dog living there, and the dog was very fat. When we went into where the meat was being stored, this dog ended up grabbing a big piece of meat and ran off with it and was chewing it. They didn’t even seem to care – they had so much of it that they really didn’t care. It seemed that they were trying to get me to help them put this all back together. Apostol was with me, and there was something that they wanted us to do. There was this room that needed to be worked in. Apostol had a knife, and cut through some plywood that was against one of the walls. This happened after we left the room where the meat was stored.

After he cut through this wood, he pulled it back enough that you could see inside the room. Then I was wondering how we were going to fit it back together. He was almost able to do it, but there was a little crack. And then someone like B from Jim’s old house showed up. He said that we could just putty it back together, which was just like what I did at John’s. So we did putty the crease.

[Note: The arrival of B here is important. Jim had tried to stop me from speaking with this person while I lived at his house. I have always felt that this came from a level of repressed homosexual jealousy, which had no basis in fact as I am not a homosexual. All of these stories will make more sense as I work towards getting the full readings archive up in the future.]

Then, this guy was really intense about how we were going to have to go into this room where there was going to be this horrible, horrible smell. He advised us to do whatever we could to make sure that we didn’t get sick from smelling it. I guess that the smell was from the meat rotting. So we had these laboratory goggles, and the instructions that I was given were to fill the inside of the goggles with little chunks of white bread and lemon. I had no idea how you were supposed to see out of these goggles if they were filled with white bread. I didn’t have any lemon, but I did try to put the bread in there. I then got worried, because when I went away from it for a minute, there was only this blackish, spongy fabric on the top. This was the same material that the jazz drummer who I had seen the previous Saturday was using to dampen the heads on his drumset.

[Note: The bread pieces were obviously similar to communion, but instead of sweet wine it was sour lemon. Furthermore, the bread itself was gross, bleached white bread, which I would never eat in real life. And so, partaking of this “body and blood” was not only sour, it would necessarily blind my vision of the real nature of the bodies that would be creating the stink in the putrid room. In other words, by acting on this desire I would be incapable of seeing that I was treating another person as an object – I would literally be blinded by this false spiritual communion.]

Right when I was getting really worried that I didn’t have the right equipment, some other guy pointed out to me that all the white flour was underneath that black spongy stuff. And then, it all fit together, and I realized right there what was going on. So, we never ended up going into the stinky room. At this point, I had another major realization that there was something very scary and very dangerous going on about this place. I was not at all comfortable anymore. That was the first time when I started to think about an escape plan.

As the dream progressed, I was again in a nice vacation area similar to Virginia Beach. It might have been like the Cayce Hospital at the ARE, but a little more like a hotel, and bigger than the hospital. It also had the feel of an ocean cruiser or something. One thing leads to another, and I ended up meeting a woman who was supposedly Gladys Davis, as though Gladys had never died and was still alive. She was very old. I was very excited to meet her in person. My meeting had been pre-empted by those who had told her about my story, and who I was. She seemed to be into it, or at least definitely hearing me out. I was getting shades of the elementary school and them being let out again.

[Note: In case the reader doesn’t already know, Gladys Davis is purported to be Cayce’s twin soul, my own eternal soul mate who had incarnated in physical form to be Cayce’s stenographer. This is obviously the real love of my eternal life, my own “twin flame” who I will be reunited with after the Ascension.]

She was very excited about me and was delighted to talk to me. Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, my friend Chris called. I was then telling Gladys about how he was the reincarnation of Morton Blumenthal, and that I was very excited about that as well. N and K, both from the Fellowship, were also around at this point. I knew that Gladys was my twin soul on some level, and I was just very glad to be talking to her even though our age difference was so high.

The meeting with Gladys was the last thing that happened before I really started to figure out and know that people were dying in this place. I remember trying to find a way out, and going around and finding the back of a loading dock or something. There was some very suspicious stuff going on that not everyone there was seeing. The real thing came when N, along with maybe someone else, was going through the computer on the Email. She found all of these secretive memos and letters between these people, describing how they were conducting this operation.

They were systematically killing each person who came, and they processed the bodies as food. They then had to get rid of their cars and remove all traces of them coming. At this point, my whole focus was not even really to spread the word, just to get the hell out of there. I was then running through the building, and I finally came upon these two women. They were the same two waitresses who had served me before in the country club area. It was the same type of place that I was in now. They were asking me where I was going, and I just didn’t even want to tell them, so I didn’t.

D: This dream was so long, it is getting me to think about a lot of stuff. I am going to summarize it at the end and see if I can get some kind of a reading about it.

The waitresses were trying to appeal to me in very sexual ways to change my mind and stay there, but I didn’t want to. Even with their seductiveness, I just said no. At first I just got away, got outside the building and away from the property. It was when I got away from the property that I learned the full extent of how horrible it was. I knew that the whole thing was getting ready to be revealed. All of the information was ready to be unveiled to the public. There were all these roads that had to do with the human processing, and whole areas of their maps that were wrong in terms of what was on the maps and how it was being shown. I saw almost like a computer screen where the different roads were lighting up. The documents on the Email were talking about the real purpose of those roads as opposed to what they were labeled as being used for.

[Note: I cannot help but feel that this is about society in general. Things like the Columbine high school shootings have started really awakening people to realize that our obsession with glamorized sex and violence is causing major social problems. Sooner or later, these realizations must no longer be subconscious, but conscious.]

I now knew that all the mechanisms were in place for this whole thing to collapse. I wasn’t necessarily the one who was going to do about it. It was just inevitable that the story was going to break and the whole thing was going to be rooted out. I found out that I definitely needed to go back there to get my car. That was the last thing that was left. I prayed and hoped that it would still be there, that they wouldn’t have already gotten rid of it.

So, I went back to the complex, and walked down the same road that I had walked down before. It was just crowded with people pouring in with huge numbers. I pushed my way through and got over to an area on the right where I thought I had parked my car. It wasn’t there. I moved further along to where I thought it might be, and it wasn’t there either. I started to get very discouraged, and as a last attempt I pushed over to the far left to look on the other side. Thankfully, there was my Subaru, parked in plain sight. I was very, very relieved to see it.

[Note: Remember that the car represents the vehicle for Ascension. The metaphor of this place taking away people’s cars has to do with the fact that this obsession with sex, or with viewing people like meat, denies access to the fourth-dimensional vibrations, causing the entity to fail to Ascend and repeat another major cycle of third-density existence.]

I seemed to have a few other people with me. We got into the car, and I was worried about what it would be like to try to drive back through that crowd that was pushing forward so quickly. It could take a really long time, because the crowd was so thick. I was again reminded of my knowledge that all of these people were going to be turned into meat.

So then, the guys who were with me suggested that we just drive right out the back, and take a left. Sure enough, there was a road right there, and I believe that it was Route 17. When we got back on the road, there was snow and maybe a lot of sticks and branches. It looked like it hadn’t even really been driven very much. It might have actually not been snow at all, but just an incredible blanket of cottonlike dandelion fuzz. I also knew that once we drove on it, it would never look the same as it did now – we seemed to be the first ones to drive on that road since the dandelion fuzz had collected.

As we drove along, there was a Route 30 announced on a road sign that featured Route 17 as well. The road sign showed that 30 was going to loop around in a big circle, and I thought that it was where we needed to go. When I suggested this to the others, they said that this is where I used to think I would need to go, but it was no longer right for me. This road would loop me right back around towards Scotia, which was where I grew up. They told me that this wasn’t where we were going this time, and that 17 would be much more direct in getting us where we needed to go. So, I think that the dream ended at that point.

D: So in context of all this information, I had asked to get a dream that would hopefully clarify some relationship data for me. I think that this is what the dream is about. I believe that it is about the social and sexual deviance in our society, and how it is just so widespread and rampant. People seeing each other as pieces of meat, all the affluence and greed. The thing with Gladys and then Ruddy seems to be about me finding my true self, and then in the middle of that realizing that the system exists, and that it is turning people into meat. Then there is also the need for me to escape.

So I think that there has been a pattern with me of going after women who are impossible. Usually it is because of their attractiveness, but there are also other factors. They have always been women who have these serious, serious issues. I believe that I have been attracted to them simply out of a pathos within myself. Maybe the pathos is that I keep creating disasters instead of successes.

[tape ends]

[Note: It is quite amazing that the tape ends precisely on the end of this sentence, right down to the second. That obviously highlights the meaning of the last sentence and is another dramatic example of the synchronicity force in action. The next portion below is highly dramatic to listen to, as the tape is very distorted, which makes my voice sound very robotic, low-pitched and distant. My tape machine was about to die, and I have now replaced it.]

The point is that my standards have always been too high. I am always looking for the ideal beauty in terms of her physical attractiveness, while discarding some of the other aspects and attributes. I know that they have been ranking on me a lot about this.

I think that this dream was also showing me that when I escape from this modality, I don’t have to go back home. I don’t have to keep repeating my old patterns from high school. I can go forward. Seventeen is like the last road that you are on before you get to the Thruway. So, I feel very good about this. To me, this is tantamount to a major breakthrough, and it is very apropos that it would happen in the middle of the Aug. 11 conjunction.

[Note: So, even with the directness of the dream, I still didn’t want to see the truth of what it was telling me. I was convinced that by going through this experience, I would be cleared of my difficulties with sexuality, not rolling in self-indulgence.]

 

Sunday 8 / 8 / 99 – 9:34 a.m.

I was just being shown, in the most recent thing, about how important my work really is. It was my book. I just didn’t see it yet.

This dream had all kinds of stuff going on, and a lot of it involved some kind of house, where a lot of difficult things seemed to be happening. There was one point where several little animals or squirrels were chasing each other around in a bedroom or something. I think I might have tried to save one of them from being chased by the other two.

The charter contains a new mission at the forefront of our awareness. We have likened the ripples in time unto a whole new system of discrete balances and / or imbalances, of which Clinton is a part of this Oneness.

Muscle testing the situation at a distance might reveal some of the answers that you are still seeking with regards to statements being made on this tape in just the past few days.

[Note: Based on this sentence, I have realized that the situation with Sabrina is indeed right for me, just the way it is, at this point in time. Let’s just say that all my beach exposure was making me very trigger-happy in seeking to gratify the carnal instincts.]

The elder statesmen feel that an inappropriate gesture towards a minor is cause for great alarm and discomfort. So, we often have to deal with these situations in a way that is not intrusive, but still aids in the rectification of karmic balance quite directly therein.

[Note: In other words, my going after this younger girl would not at all be apropos. (She is well over 21, having just finished college, so the part about her being a “minor” is only a metaphor.) With all those who try to serve self that are interested in me, their attention would be directed strongly to anyone who I got involved with. And if that person cannot handle that energy, it could be a bad thing indeed. I can’t just “hang out” with someone who is unequipped to handle the energies, both positive and negative, that surround me.]

D: This hammering upstairs is just making dream recall and / or psychic readings an impossible process. Even with the earplugs, it is just very, very disruptive. I will try to get a few more sentences here.

The Messianic initiative involves seeking out a leader of sorts who would be capable of discovering the inanimate pathways within Self, to use them for personal liberation and / or transformation of understanding before sharing that with others. The gardener has a bit more weeding to do in your case, as you become one of the leaders of this initiative. We are very pleased with you, and want to remind you of that fact in case you ever doubted it. There are so many reasons for you to have faith and trust in the ultimate simplicity of this process, of what you are supposed to be doing here.

D: [Note: I did not understand the contents of what I had just said. The work that I still had to do with myself was clearing this desire.] Yesterday I made a soliloquy about this other girl who I was interested in. In retrospect, I can see that the dream that you gave me was very clearly trying to show me just how deep this sexual programming from society really is within me. (Note: 3:11 on transcription, 8/23/99.) It is not even something that I want to admit to, but it nevertheless was there anyway. So, Sabrina had called me yesterday and said that she was going to come over for ten minutes. She called me from a cosmetics store. I was nervous. I thought that something had gone wrong, and she might have psychically sensed that I was, at least on some level, starting to withdraw my emotional investment from her. On a mental level, I had made what I thought to be a shift in policy, where I was just getting too frustrated. I was basically lacking patience, I guess.

So I figured that she somehow knew, in her own psychic way, what was going on. And I guess that concerned me. So when she actually came here, I realized that for some reason, she had substantial makeup on for the first time in the last two years. I do admit that I was quite surprised. I really was able to see exactly how much her face fits in with this certain model of attractiveness that society has carved out as “the norm.”

[tape ends]

[Note: That is the entire content of that cassette! What follows is (I know I keep saying this) about the deepest trance that I have ever secured in a reading. At some point I suddenly became aware that I was talking and the tape was running – so I had literally lost all contact with the signal on the conscious level. So, you might say that this was my first near – “unconscious” channeling. My voice is so conversational in the first paragraph here that I didn’t even realize it was a reading at first!]

One of the characteristics of these types of movies is that they have an impossible guest on their hands. In this case, that guest appears to be that they wish to win the love of the person in the uniform. However, in this case it seemed especially bad for them and difficult, as this song continues to re-emerge over and over again into the collective consciousness. We also realized that there is more than one level that you could look at it as. Here is one possibility for the spiritual level, looking at this movie.

[Note: There are certain “uniforms” that we hold as models of attractiveness. I think that this is what they are referring to here. The “movie” is my own personal drama of thinking that I was going to get together with this new girl.]

I would height[en] the depth charges. This would suppose that death is much less common as a result of the situations pertinent to the unholy alliance that had developed between Christianity and Islam.

[8/25: I finally figured it out after I had already posted this the first time. My housemate is Islamic, and he certainly had a lot to do with motivating me to act on sexual desire, which is indeed “unholy” with relevance to the world’s religious teachings. “Heightening the depth charges” could be referring to their desire to “heighten” the depths of where my thoughts were taking me. They did not want me to have a “death” in the spiritual sense from disobeying my own teachings – in the exact same manner that Ra-Ta did during that period.]

She developed to the center of them, “[With] brassieres I have started both of my businesses surrounding women. Now I just want to sell cosmetics.” We do indeed see that those times have changed, and a new era is upon us now.

[Note: The only reason for why the punctuation is the way that it is above here is that I saw it very clearly and dictated the structure as I went along. It seems to suggest that certain parts of our society now want to tone down the emphasis on sex. This might specifically relate to myself, (they often switch genders to increase the complexity of the puzzles) who started out looking at women based on sex, and now “she” wants to move into simple “cosmetics,” toning down the sexuality and helping women “look better,” i.e. increasing their self-concepts. Furthermore, by “developing” this idea “to the center of ” my interaction with Apostol, I have indeed set forth this “new era” in my personal vibrations.]

Symbolically, Edward the Eighth took flying ale and found multi-million dollars in [the] Balkans, through the simple process of trying to discover the self through all the many layers of negligent journalism.

[8/25: After I had already posted this on the Net, I finally cracked the code. I am “Edward the Eighth,” or a future incarnation of Edgar, associated with Ascension, a return to Oneness, or the octave, based on the number 8. The “flying ale” seems to be the part of myself that was willing to indulge, as would an alcoholic. My housemate is from the Balkans, so it was with his help that I came to this “multi-million dollar” lesson in my spiritual growth, by penetrating my own “negligent journalism” in thinking that this situation would be right for me.]

And so, the question between “I liked” and “I saw” (by) two full-sized women, should now no longer be a question of fantasy, but rather of nice, hardcore objective reality.

[8/23: It is very, very strange that as I transcribe these words, I have just gotten a totally unexpected phone call this morning from Angelica! I had never expected to see or to talk to her again, and so this is amazing. She just happened to drive across the country right in the middle of the Aug. 11 eclipse to come home to the ashram! (She had moved to New Mexico two months after I moved to Virginia Beach, and before I moved our friendship had suffered a falling out.) Along with Sabrina, she might be the other “full sized woman” they are referring to here, based on this context. The greater meaning of this passage seems to be that I should make a difference between truly liking someone on the spiritual level and just seeing them as physically attractive. Both of these women have had celibate relationships with me that were highly spiritual, but not physical. It is highly amazing, almost religiously significant to me, that I got that call from Angelica in the midst of all this.]

In the long run, the love that we have for you does indeed transcend the literal stuff. But then with I, so do I have the poisoning products which you must be careful not to ingest, as they are raised as comfortably as possible. Viewed from these sources, you are altogether doing well, with all the draft and dissension in this American country.

[Note: The poisoning products seem to be the sexualized presentations in the media. It is interesting here to listen to how the language contortions surrounding the pronoun “I” reveal an interesting view on the Law of One.]

His sustenance requires me at various times to do the work of many planets all at once. The cosmic soul Edgar Cayce had a home too – it is the Oneness.

[Note: Here they seem to be illustrating all the difficulties that they have with getting me to learn this lesson properly – it was taking a great deal of work.]

TM, TIM and TIIM have led to me being able to draw down exactly what I need from the planet. That’s what has them shaking above me, [while] the powers beneath me [are] still wondering what the hell is going on. I haven’t been able to change a lot of shape very much anyway.

[Note: At this last sentence point, the phrasing suddenly became more conversational, less like a robotic, monotonous dictation. This is very interesting. I have no idea yet what the letters are supposed to stand for, although TM could be Transcendental Meditation. I believe that TIM might be analogous to a medical condition similar to a small stroke. So, as we learn to expand our consciousness greater, we also have greater Earth Changes as the parts that must be weeded out come up for cleansing. That could be the “shaking above me” that is being referred to here. It could also be that these are the initials of the girl who I was involved with.]

So, it was good that the rumors have him as remaining consistent. That plays forward the push towards normalcy that I now seek.

D: Now I am getting a sudden flood of images surrounding this visual image of those who have tried to mar the Christ’s reputation, and how he is trying to earn a recapitulation of his lifelong purpose.

Nothing is enabling this meeting. There have always been those opportunities for channeling that push the right buttons to give the event the control that it needs and requires at the helm of the ship, so to speak. I stand at the crossroads, unable to stop writing and / or destined to keep repeating this message, while simultaneously continuing to live as though nothing were going on.

[Long pause]

I feel and think deeply, for there are those moments when I wish I could put myself back together again, and have the simple answers that I longed to find here on Earth. But sometime after sometime, the Wanderers are the freaks; those who must hear about themselves on the radio, and run from one place to another, winning responsibility and / or public display like a haven attracts a young colt or a doe who has abandoned its mother for whatever reason.

[Note: This seems to be saying that those who try to further the “Christ Agenda,” many of whom are probably Wanderers, must contend with the “freak” stigma that society places upon them.]

And as the current cools, the mainstream connection finds its way over to the lemon juice square that this whole mess got originated [within] in the first place. It is there where we will find one Frank Mc Laughlin, an American of God, connected in many ways, who has the plan, and does possess those elements of righteous indignation characteristic of the more self-serving vibrations.

[Note: I must wonder if this “Frank” is a real name of someone who was on the “inside track” of the early planning stages of modern government conspiracy. (And yes, there is one, or else we wouldn’t have so many things being covered up.) The meaning of a “lemon juice square” seems to again be drawing off of the metaphor from the “Meat Market” dream about the foul communion bread and wine. We are now truly getting to the bottom of the causes behind deviance in our society, and rooting them out.]

And so, why is this? Why do you think that it matters what these groups may or may not do to alter the course of humanity? We do. We do, so we do everything to try to bring forth that opportunity by which the natural cycle of events may open a doorway for this channel to be born. As you had a client once ask if it was possible to be repeated, the answer was that it would take some time, and that you did not want to be put on a pedestal.

[Note: Here the “repetition” they speak of might indicate a full reawakening of the depth of trance that I had secured in the Cayce readings. I still haven’t fully ‘gone unconscious,’ nor do I have the “configurations” to do medical readings.]

Look. Billy, Peter and Paul also reason you to have somehow strayed off course in your alignments and intentions at present. In order to reaffirm their validity and wealth, we are giving you these messages in the here and now. The ascertaining of various individual forces is a great and superior focus for many individuals, and one not without serious religious and emblematic overtones.

[Note: These three names might be apostles, I really don’t know, as there is no “Billy” in the bunch – unless it is a contraction of Phillip. That would make sense, as it would also help in sneaking these names past my conscious mind. The ‘ascertaining of individual forces’ they are talking about appear to be my clearing of this sexual issue.]

[Voice pitch lowers a bit in the next six words. This whole section ends up being about crop circles.]

While it is familiar to work as an influence over Israel, for example, most of the rest of the world does not consider itself sacred or honorable enough to be privy to such visitations. And thus, with great difficulty, many pieces of the puzzle have been taken out in fear and in distrust of the whole process, through nothing more than the simple harvesting of the crop should any formations arise in the American continent.

[Note: In context, it appears to suggest that this “Cabal” might be purposefully trying to remove and / or cover up any crop formations that appear in America, to keep us in the dark about this phenomenon. But also, it appears that the simple fact that we do not view ourselves as sacred is blocking it as well.]

We have been back to the original symbol for development, Kam-Ka, or the Tau cross derivative, many times before. What we now want is for both sides to relax the distinctions that have kept them so irrigated from this central canal of experience.

[Note: I must assume that this means that a simple shape, organized around the idea of a T, has been used in crop circles many times over. Since they say it is a “derivative,” it must refer to the T that is formed by three intersecting circles in a roughly triangular shape. This is certainly a common formation. I will need to look up the meaning of the Tau cross later, and I have no idea what “Kam-Ka” is.]

[Note: At this point the reading veers off into a personal reading for Sabrina, telling her that she might be even better than I at this channeling process, and encouraging her to develop it more fully. (1:44 p.m.!)]

 

Monday 8 / 9 / 99 – 7:33 a.m.

Revealed: Past-Life Karma with Apostol

This dream was a real doozy! It took place in this same weird building throughout most of the whole thing. Earlier along, it had to do with these audiocassette tapes. That might have something to do with the Watergate movie “Dick” that I saw with Sabrina yesterday. Anyway, there was this house, and I believe that there were classes going on at the house at one point or another. There was some concern over the chairs that I might have been trying to work with. I was trying to help out in my own way.

Things definitely got really strange really fast. The part that I am remembering the easiest right now happened at the end, and this was after several other plot cycles. It ended up that these new guys showed up at the house. They had been part of this ghost story. All of them together were in a different house before coming over here, where they had been witnessing some sort of paranormal or ghost phenomenon occurring all around them. They were very upset about it on one level. It was also like a horror movie. Each one of them seemed to be living, but then all these other people who were trying to come and cause them problems were dying.

I remember very distinctly one guy in particular who had a roughly Mexican look to him, with curly hair, the eyes and everything else. I was telling him how I believed that their abilities, even though they were so horrible in the dream, had to do with the positioning of the house on the right part of the Global Grid. When this was coupled with their focused consciousness energy as a group, maybe their anger was what had caused so much destruction. They could channel and use this to do positive things. He seemed excited about that, but it still didn’t answer the question of how they had gotten so strange in the first place.

There was also this guy from the group. We were outside walking by the old Mohawk school, and there were all these tables there. People were sitting on the outsides, looking through the windows and seeing some girls on the inside. This guy sat down at one of the tables right in the middle of all these people smoking. I was saying to myself how much I didn’t like this kind of a scene.

You don’t like evil.

D: I think that this dream has to do with having gone to the movies with Sabrina, even though I didn’t see those horror movies, just the concept of the dark energy in my mind must have triggered something like this. One of the guys in the dream who I looked at in the end, I told him that he could use these abilities and stop using them for evil. He did have sort of a Mexican look, but he also has a very close approximation to Apostol in some ways. He was a little bit thinner, with a slight facial reconfiguration.

A lot of this building was like a school, in a sort of dark way.

[Note: After ruminating on this dream further, it occurred to me that Apostol must have been a Mexican man who I knew in my lifetimes as John Bainbridge, the womanizing alcoholic referred to in the Cayce readings. So, there is a past-life karma that is being cleared out here with our living together. This would explain the high strangeness surrounding Apostol’s emergence into my living situation, which was so spontaneous and unexpected that I just ended up going along with it, despite having said that I was only going to live alone now. Furthermore, his connection to my “sex karma” appears to have all been timed to give me this huge lesson that is related to my life as Ra-Ta, directly surrounding the 11:11 event.]

D: The other thing that might spawn a dream that would examine evil like this was a conversation that Apostol had with me last night, where I realized that his philosophy was evil. He was all of a sudden not supporting what was going on with Sabrina, but implying that I needed to push it forward to the physical level or withdraw from the situation. That was when it really dawned on me that his attitude was fraught with negative beliefs, and self-serving polarities.

Everyone has an idea of where they should go and what they should do. You are no different. And so, when we get an opportunity to follow our inner guidance down to the letter, we need to take it. Not that it is bad to feel stressed out about something, but rather that in each and every moment, the focus must remain fixed away from the self and towards others. Furthermore, the deeper ramifications of this action conclude with the statement that you can’t really change anything, you can just accept or deny what now exists.

The loincloth will continue to cover you, and you must accept that.

D: So in essence, what you are saying is that I should just cast any ideas of this [new romantic possibility] advancing out the window right for now, and just accept it the way it is.

Yes, that would be correct. Don’t believe what the others are telling you. When you have the focus within yourself to do God’s bidding and God’s work on the planet, you no longer need to explore adolescent issues involving the spirituality of sexuality. Though it is a concern for us at times when you do not fall in line with the teachings, we do not see this as some inevitable hurdle that you must overcome prior to Ascension. The healing that you are doing in your relations with women involving Sabrina is indeed quite profound. Just as others do not understand your dietetic choices and the like, so too will they not understand this. That doesn’t change the fact that it is you, it is your life, and you have a decision as to how you will make it. Even though it might seem to be like a mirage for other people, you already know the truth of the matter, and that is what is important.

So just use your phone card and stay in touch with us, and everything is going to be all right.

[Note: It occurred to me later that this was a final clearing of the Ra-Ta karma, which was where all these sexual issues got started in the first place.]

11:19 a.m.

Maybe it’s me not being wise about this, but I just don’t feel like I have the energy to do a full client reading this morning. I feel like I would be extending myself too far. The dream that I had seemed very, very personal. I remember that J from the farm was involved with it, and there was a very sexual metaphor. The basic gist of all this seemed to be just accepting my sexuality as being okay, and all these different pieces of me had been scattered across the land and I was now trying to put them back together like Osiris.

That was pretty cool.

 

Tuesday 8 / 10 / 99 – 9:06 a.m.

D: I went to bed around 2:30 a.m., so this is six and a half hours solid before I woke up.

D: I must interject that after wearing my soft long sleeved shirt to bed here, it does seem to have made a big difference in terms of not waking up with a cold. Sleeping without a shirt is too dangerous for me, even if it is hot.

What you have at this stage is the blindness of the past being reborn to a higher level of sighted awareness. For just a moment, let us stop and realize that the entire caliber of opportunities presented to us will be changing somewhat drastically, or altered in a sense to make way for the new understandings that we are now capable of handling.

Cayce’s material caused much grief over a potential disaster, and yet it was not quite far enough away from the truth to be considered “wrong.” More importantly, it was a product of negative influence invited by free will, and designed to make the survivor stories seem like the only game in town. In this sense, you could then see how it is that truthful information regarding the depiction of said event was blended with erroneous information, namely the understandings surrounding the why, when and where.

[Note: They pick up this thread again later on in the readings, and we will get to that as we go along in a future update.]

D: Things are happening in my bowel that are distracting me.

There was an earlier section of this whole night that featured something with J and his farm, but it seemed to have been transposed into a Scotia context. I was going around the streets of Scotia, and there was a slightly dark and strange vibe associated with this.

At the end just now, I was with a rather large group of people, and we were in what had to be considered a very primitive type of context. It might have been Scotia near the Jumpin Jacks. What we really ended up having was nothing more than an outcropping of rocks, like a cliff. So anyway, before too long these two birds come along, and they were taller than a human being, just absolutely colossal in size. They had yellow feet, sort of a soft, light blue top, a white underbelly, the white and the blue theme continuing up to the head.

[Note: I know that one feature of eating at Jumpin’ Jacks was the birds who would take dirt baths and would come around to be fed small pieces of bread. Again, we see the “negative communion bread” metaphor coming into play – partaking of the sour fruits of material indulgence. I am really not sure what the birds are supposed to mean here – perhaps the animal self that feels it must be “fed” being shown as quite large and goofy, like a sports mascot.]

[tape flips]

As I was saying, in the middle of Scotia was a house that seemed to be on Riverside Ave. You could walk in, and there was a really nice parlor there. I definitely was not happy about the way that the parlor was being run. It seemed to be associated with government and Benjamin Franklin, and also D B from the Fellowship. It was associated with the Revolutionary War and that type of thing.

[Note: Since the building was on “Riverside Avenue,” it means “near water,” and water is Spirit. So, again we have the connection with Clinton in government, and our media in general, leading to these many problems that we have associated with sexuality.]

D: Since this is supposed to be my recovery time, I am going to just let myself drift back away. I think I am starting to understand what this dream is about.

 

Wednesday 8 / 11 / 99 – 7:03 a.m.

Today is obviously a very, very, very important day. This was a dream that was actually in progress probably during the eclipse, which just ended at 6:39. This whole dream was about some kind of a school that I was involved with, and I was now pulling out of it. It was occurring all across the board, on a multidimensional level. Every layer was finished. It was like a dance school, I guess.

I remember at the end that there were several olives. They were my olives, and I was trying to eat them. There were a couple of olives that had a funny taste, and their color seemed to be off. There was someone else there who was telling me, “Look, it is okay for you to not have these olives. It is okay for you to pass them up because they are rotten.” So I did.

[8/24: As I write these words, my right hand is experiencing a constant pain signal from Apostol’s insistence last night that I let him crush my hand in a manly-man “Handshake game” that he would play when he was in the military. I know that the dream is about him. (His family had a great deal of olive trees while living in Albania.) He also just told me yesterday that his friend M. has offered him a room and food for no money, and I had a dream this morning that my brother’s girlfriend was tearfully saying goodbye to me. I immediately interpreted this as being that my time with Apostol is about to end, and that is okay. I believe that I have assimilated everything that I needed to learn from this experience.

The dream metaphor also has to do with giving up on the whole idea of this “sour fruit” of the physical communion for the flesh, that ongoing theme that has been used lately in these readings.]

For some reason, I unburied a very deep memory, which was that Mrs. G, my former tenth grade math teacher, was one of the facilitators at my Discovery program, a weekend getaway that allowed students to talk about life goals. In the process of my big pullout, I met Mrs. G face to face. There was just so much love between us. It was pretty amazing, because I think back on those times as being really bad. All of a sudden, that experience had just uncorked the bottle of the Discovery program, and the weekends that I would do with OASIS, the crisis hotline that I worked for while in college.

So I didn’t eat the olives. I had this child’s drawer that was filled with all this junk. I had to take everything out, because this was it and I was really leaving.

D: I know that part of this has to do with an older friend from the Fellowship being here last night. She was crying over forgiving her mother and her mother’s mortality, which is becoming an imminent issue. At just the right moment, when she was still crying, I grabbed her hand and brought her into the bathroom. I told her to apologize to herself for all the things that she has done to hurt herself, to then forgive herself for what she had done and then forgive herself. Several times I had told her what to say. The energy that was released in that experience was just totally incredible.

Getting back to the dream. While I was talking to Mrs. G about all the wonderful things about graduating. I had been going to this dance school, and Nana was involved. It was a big pullout. I was gathering up all my stuff and it was time to go.

D: So, I know that after today, I have to live my life as though Ascension, or the first wave of Ascension, could happen at any time. So I think that has a lot do with this reading, really. The 11:11 conjunction is obviously a gigantic symbolic mile marker for the millennium. It also increases the amount of energy that is available to us and fixates it on a new, higher level as Jupiter and Saturn continue to get closer and closer together.

So, as I was sitting there with Mrs. G, there was really a tremendous love, and it was just so wonderful. I was saying to myself and to her, “How could I have ever only remembered the parts of you where it was so negative? I totally forgot that you and I had ended up being on such a great level after my math class.” It was great. I felt a very deep and profound love for her. That did happen in high school, but I just didn’t remember it until now.

[Note: Obviously, this is really about myself!]

At the same time that this happened, Apostol was sitting at Nana and Papa’s kitchen table. He was drawing a map on a piece of paper, and then started drawing on the tablecloth. The tablecloth was very ornate lace. It had an off white or slightly tan color. So when I saw him write on this, I got angry and asked him what he was doing. At that point, I think that basically I got paranoid and ran over and got a wet sponge, and just immediately started wiping out the blue on the tablecloth. I was able to get all the surface of it away, and I was talking to Mrs. G about how great that was. It really did look like everything was gone.

Then I also had to get rid of something on the bottom, she said. Also, Apostol kept changing between himself and G W, a friend of mine all the way back from second grade. So Mrs. G lifted up the tablecloth, and sure enough there was a water spot that was still blue. So she was hitting it from the underneath, and there was a sewed-on patch underneath where he had been writing. She was working the sponge in underneath this patch, because there was a hole there that she could stick it through. I knew that there wasn’t going to be any stain, and everything was going to be fine. (8/24: 4:44 on transcription as I think that this means that nothing that I did, no decisions that I made while he was here, would “stain” my spiritual being. I learned what I needed to learn in this whole “sexcapade” without actually taking on any negative karma.)

D: That was pretty much when it stopped, and he was still here. One of my earplugs had fallen out while I was sleeping. I don’t know. This is pretty intense time to be alive right now. A lot of very intense stuff is happening.

11:54 a.m.

Clearing the Darkness out of the House / Becoming an Ascended “Angel”

This dream featured me mainly getting stuck in some kind of a giant housing area, like Jim’s house, where there were all these old appliances and rooms that led to nowhere – all these caves. Mostly it was a house that was built into all these secret passages that led into dark caves and stuff. So I was with this group of other people who were all trying to figure our way through this place!

He’s finally a Masonic co-operator in the traditional sense of the word. He is ready for a graduation now. Your boundaries will not be invaded, so just stay plugged in the socket long enough, and you will see the simple stuff get herded into areas much more complex. We have got a list and a nationality, so keep that in mind when querying about your purpose.

After a tortured week of assignments, rationalizations and throwing up, we have arrived at our purpose – the final clearing of some very major karmic issues. Our delight suggests that you are indeed ready, and thus you have passed the Aug. 11 threshold quite well, and are ready for the next step.

Nothing annoys me worse than seeing one who has all the tools for this awareness but then scraps the project at the last possible minute. The Knights of the Round Table did not have such difficulties.

[Note: They appear to suggest that I might have “scrapped the project at the last minute” had I taken this temptation.]

I was plodding around for your natural Light, and realized that it was already within you. And so, the next step is just to make you aware that it exists. And so, even in this minor trance, you are capable of grasping the words of Deity, I think, and transforming them directly into guidance for others to use.

There were a lot of dark passages, weird holes and places that you had to climb to that didn’t seem quite right. I had this idea as we went along that we were going to systematically map everything out, using all the technology that we had available to us now so that there were no more secret passages, and we knew where everything went.

[Note: In other words, we would shine the light on the darkness and reveal its full intricacies.]

There was some belligerence going on. I think J T was involved, a few other people including Jim, some of the time. As we kept on going through this, the situation changed, or it might have actually been like this before the cave part.

There was a part where I was in some sort of an open room that looked somewhat like the practice room for Chamber Jazz class. My father was there along with some others. There was a drumset there and they were asking me to play along with this tape. Then there was a point where there was nothing but a bass drum, snare and hi hat, and I was having a real hard time with sticks making it work for jazz. It might not have been anything but a bass drum and snare at one point. (In retrospect, if it was bass drum, hi hat and snare, I could have played the jazz pattern on the hi hat.)

It ended up that there was this “Cow Chow.” The guy who looked like the bike rider Al around here was given the responsibility by Jim to feed the cows this Cow Chow. I was on the toilet while this person was getting yelled at about not having fed this cow his Cow Chow, and I just laughed about the whole thing.

[Note: The “Cow Chow” could be about my housemate Apostol’s eating of meat, comparing this to his attitudes about sex in general. As I am on the toilet, cleansing myself of his karma, I know that I am not going to “eat” these attitudes myself any more. And yes, once again we have another aspect of the “negative communion” metaphor, only this time instead of bread, it is a sort of cheap dog food that is designed to be fed to cattle – another representation of the lower self.]

D: I have got to say that I do feel the higher energy of the planetary vibrations. I am very relaxed and feel very good.

That was the conclusion at the end. I was going to take this computer program and map everything out.

There was another part at the end that was very significant. We were all out on some sort of a lake. I don’t remember how everyone got out there, but there were chairs set up in the middle of everything. At first, it seemed that there was going to be this giant and horrific problem, almost like a powerful disease pestilence that was going to wipe everyone out. They were really scared about this, and they were asking me what to do and what could be done to stop it.

At some point, I finally realized that what they saw as being this horrible pestilence was actually the arrival of an angel. I then became that angel, and walked on the water in between where everyone was. I was talking to them, and as I spoke, my words were very deep, resonant and booming. I told them not to fear, that everything was going to be all right. I told them just to relax and be calm, and don’t worry. Their transformation was happening, and they would get through it just fine.

D: Oh, wow! I just now looked at the clock and it is 12:12. That is very, very cool. (8/24: To make it even better, this is page 44/44 and the time just now is exactly 5:00 p.m.! Time to come home from the “work!”)

Thank you, Father-Mother God, for my very many blessings. Thank you for bringing us through August 11 without major incident thus far. I now know that I have to complete this mission and get all of the material that is relevant onto the Web. I will try to do this as soon as possible, and finish my writing projects over the next few weeks. Thank you again.

[Note: 1:11 p.m. as I prepare this final manuscript for publication on the Internet! That’s a good sign!]