BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS
I was very relieved by the time the semester had ended. I was ready to move on to bigger and better things. I had considered applying to Atlantic University in Virginia Beach, which was directly affiliated with the Edgar Cayce-based ARE at that time, in order to pursue a Master's degree in Transpersonal Studies.
I didn't know a whole lot about Cayce, just what I had read in the Atlantis books about the Great Pyramid and upcoming Earth Changes. I knew that Cayce's readings had said that he had been the priest known as Ra-Ta, who had built the Great Pyramid with Enoch, who was apparently an early incarnation of Jesus.
I had been amazed to discover that Cayce's readings gave a date for the Pyramid's construction as being "10,490 to 10,390 years before the entrance of the Master (Jesus the Christ) into the earth planes."
My surprise came from the fact that I could see how well the results of this reading had correlated with the recent findings of one Robert Bauval, who had written a book entitled "The Orion Mystery." Bauval's work showed that the three main pyramids at Giza, along with a few others nearby, were built to precisely duplicate the formation of the constellation Orion in the sky.
The Nile River was used as the physical analog for the Milky Way Galaxy in the heavens. And furthermore, because of a long-term wobble in the Earth's axis called precession, there was only one plausible time in any recent history when the pyramids and Nile River on Earth would be precisely aligned with the position of the stars in the heavens.
That time was 12,500 years ago, or 10,500 years before the time of Christ! I realized that Cayce's readings hit the nail directly on the head, with a ten-year margin of difference against Bauval's findings. And furthermore, no direct mention of this prophetic connection could be found in Bauval's book, which had just come out in stores at the time.
I reasoned that if Cayce was so accurate with the most modern data on the Great Pyramid, then the more esoteric material about Ra-Ta, the existence of Atlantis and the Hall of Records might also be true.
This Hall was supposed to contain a record of all Atlantean and earlier periods of recorded history at that time, as well as a series of artifacts. Apparently Ra-Ta had build this hall to preserve the records of Atlantis from the effects of a magnetic axis shift on Earth.
Cayce's readings had also said that history would repeat itself again, and we might well have a massive land shift in 1998 that would precipitate the inundation of California and Japan. He additionally said that the pole shift itself would occur in 2001.
Naturally, all this made me nervous, and it was well corroborated in other books that I read, such as Charles Berlitz's book "Doomsday: 1999 AD." I figured that my best bet was to try to move to the safest area that I possibly could.
Cayce's readings strongly suggested that Virginia Beach would fare remarkably well throughout these changes, and I certainly considered that advice quite highly. My other choice was Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado.
I felt that Naropa might give me the chance to make a living out of my metaphysical interests, and the heights of the Rocky Mountains were probably another safe area if Cayce's prophecies really did come true and the oceans spilled onto the lands.
One of the most bizarre things that happened surrounding the Naropa issue occurred when I sat down at my computer and started to write my cover letter for my admissions package. In the letter, I started to go into all the Earth Changes that were visible at that time, in 1995.
It had been a sunny day outside when I started writing. As I continued to write about the collapse of society and the incredible problems that we faced, a storm suddenly whipped up, seemingly out of nowhere.
Before I even had time to figure out exactly what was happening, a savage wind was wrestling the trees outside, causing them to reel to and fro. The sky darkened, a few thunderclaps were heard, and the rain started cascading down in sheets.
Then, there was a huge flash of light that happened almost simultaneously with a tremendous, exploding bang of thunder, and all of a sudden my computer was dead - just like that. I lost everything that I was writing, as I had not yet saved it.
When the power came back on, I worked the event right into my new admissions letter to Naropa as a positive example of synchronicity. It greatly aided my case about the Earth Changes that were going on.
It appeared to be so well timed that I could not ignore the significance of the event. I was sure that this was a "sign" that the school would want to take me on board. Soon enough, I received a letter, telling me that they wanted me to journey out to Colorado for an entrance interview! I would need to do this only two weeks after I graduated!
I was so glad to be done with college that I hardly even cared about my graduation ceremony; I just went through the motions, grabbed the diploma and shook the guy's hand who I had never met before.
The cap and gown were too damn hot, the music was too loud and there were too many people. I really wasn't even that proud of myself, as I had so many other things on my mind -- the imminent loss of my relationship, my final emergence from the protective womb of dormitory life, and the planning of the rest of my life.
Right after the ceremony, I went home and Yumi rode along with me, my mother and brother.
On the second to last day that Yumi was in my house, I had an absolutely spectacular lucid dream that I induced myself.
I was back in New Paltz and effortlessly flying around the campus, to the wonderment of the others who watched me. I was so excited about what was happening that I tried to take notes, not realizing that the note pad was part of the dream too, and that I would not be able to bring it back.
As I tried to write down my experiences, I looked down at the page. To my amazement, all of my thoughts, which were in English, were written in French! Furthermore, I could tell that they were accurate sentences, even though I myself would not have been able to put them together. It was an amazing, stunning and eminently gratifying experience.
Yumi was taken away from my house in a yellow taxicab, and I faked breaking into tears as she left, so that she would feel that I really was sad to see her go. But then, when I came back into the house, I went down in the basement to put my laundry in the dryer, and at that point it really did hit me: Yumi was gone for good.
Now I started to cry for real. Instinctively and without even thinking, I went over to the same book library that had produced Harold Sherman's "How to Make ESP Work for You" when I was only seven years old. I blindly reached out and grabbed "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran, sat down and started reading it. I had never read it before, and knew nothing about it.
With the tears still streaming down my face, I realized that the opening scene in this book featured a prophet who had finally come of age and was called by God to leave his hometown. I didn't realize at first that the spiritual forces wanted me to realize that this was a metaphor for myself, and my own imminent departure for Naropa in Boulder, Colorado.
The prophet's ship had just arrived in the port, and the entire village was crying as well as he. Before he was to leave them for the last time, they asked him if he would give them some final parting words of wisdom.
And so, each chapter of the book after this opening scene is his response to their questions. I was particularly taken with the passage dealing with love as being that which grinds the "grain" of your soul in order to make "bread." It talked of the incredible work and sacrifice that went into a relationship, and I had just lived it.
The synchronicity of me picking up the book, and its contents, was just another sign out of thousands. It was very odd that Yumi had just left, and I myself, "the prophet," was about to go to my "place of calling," Naropa Institute.
I didn't consider myself a prophet, and so the whole thing was a very curious but meaningful synchronicity. It was yet another file for the "strange" book that I was keeping track of in the back of my mind, which you are now reading.
It was only even later that I realized that the even deeper metaphor was that the ship to be boarded represented the Ascension. Through media like this book, I would end up giving the public spiritual information before I too went on to bigger and better things in the universe.
Shortly thereafter, I was on the train to Colorado. I had missed the baggage claim and my four heavy bags proved to be very unwieldy. The ride was more than two days long, and I couldn't sleep. This was literally the first time that I had ever done anything by myself, for myself, and I was petrified.
I stared at the pale glowing numbers at the top of the doorway between train cars as the night hours ticked onwards, and was again overcome with sadness at the loss of Yumi. Whatever problems we might have had, I did still love her, even though I couldn't explain it to myself.
The first day in Boulder was cloudy and unimpressive. I couldn't see these mountains that everybody raved about. I collapsed into bed when I got to the nasty Boulder Youth Hostel and slept most of that day and night.
The next morning, I went outside and the sun had burned off all the clouds. The magnificent Flatiron Mountains stared back at me, and I was awed. These were no ordinary mountains, but bold, triangular-shaped chunks of rock that jutted up into the air like gigantic pyramids. It was a very epic sight.
To make a long story short, I went through my interview and thought, (that's the key word,) that I did very well. I met two wonderful people who were also applying, Carl and Meredith. The three of us became fast friends, and we spent the next three days hanging out together.
Meredith had a rental car, and we ended up driving into the mountains. As we stood on the breathtaking summit, overlooking the Rocky Mountains on both sides of us, I commented on how I had never before really seen the true beauty of the Earth. I could hardly believe the splendor that was before me.
Carl and I got talking, and I revealed that I still didn't feel like I was a man - I felt like I was a boy. After all, I had only just graduated from college, and had never lived off-campus while I was there. I did not have a handle on adult living at that point.
Carl and Meredith both understood and were very compassionate, explaining how society had lost all of the "rites of passage" that were once socially sanctioned for everyone. Now, they explained, I was making my own rite of passage come true, by coming out to start my new life as a Naropa student.
I planned to get a job and start living out there right away, culminating in attending Naropa in the fall. It was a great plan, one that could not fail. I knew that this would be the way for me to get the credentials to ultimately have a spiritually centered career.
Carl told me to try out the local temp agency to get, in his words, "a quick and dirty job." So, on Monday morning that is exactly what I did. Tuesday morning, I started my new job at a software company named after the Rockies.
Needless to say, the job was total hell. You stood in one place all eight hours, putting together diskette mailers as fast as you could possibly move your hands and arms. I was surrounded by strange, middle-aged blue-collar guys who constantly complained about everything.
I was very unhappy and could acutely feel the pain of standing all day in my feet and legs.
I became concerned that I wasn't making enough money to live there, and the Youth Hostel was trying to move me out to make way for short-term tenants.
I started to get quite worried as the week rolled by, wondering how in the world I was going to pull the whole thing off. Then, suddenly, I got a call from my mother.
"I've got a letter from Naropa here, Dave," she said. "It's awfully thin."
I was shocked. "You mean they didn't accept me?" I thought to myself. "That's impossible. I've been doing this metaphysical work my whole life. I don't see why they wouldn't take me."
"Okay, let's hear it," I responded bleakly.
I heard the sound of the letter opening. "Dear Mr. Wilcock. We regret to inform you that we have decided not to take you in as a Naropa student at this time."
I was totally crestfallen. Here I was, in what I believed to be the New Age Mecca of the continental United States, my new safety land from Earth Changes, trying to get into the best metaphysical graduate school there was, and I had just been rejected by mail, not even in person.
But at the same time, I was curiously relieved, as the prospect of trying to "make it" in Boulder was looking more and more precarious. The rental prices for even a dirt-cheap apartment were, essentially, disgusting.
"Oh well, I guess I don't have to cancel that return trip ticket home after all," I responded.
I now had extra money, and decided that I was on vacation again. I quit the temp job and spent the next three days before the train left going around and enjoying Boulder.
On the day before I left, I met an older woman who was a "professional psychic." She had never actually found a place to live in Boulder, because of how expensive it was there, and was essentially living and sleeping in her car. Her specialty was Tarot card readings.
She gravitated towards me after meeting me at a coffeehouse and restaurant. I bought her some food and we ended up spending an entire day together. I thought that she might have been attracted to me, but I certainly didn't act on that.
I tried as best I could to counsel her about how to get out of the predicament that she was in. She had come to Boulder "on faith," and faith simply hadn't worked yet!
We did end up having some very interesting and engaging conversations. As a gift to me, she decided to give me one of her Tarot card readings. She used the Rider / Waite deck, the same as I had trained myself on since junior high school.
She used a giant, circular spread, and explained that it was astrological. Each of the cards in the circle corresponded to an astrological sign and house; it was her own personal style that she had developed.
There was one card position that represented the sum total of the rest of the reading, and whatever card showed up there was IT. She built this up dramatically as she laid the cards out one by one, giving their meanings, which to me were far too simplistic.
At times, I questioned her interpretations, but she didn't let me break her rhythm for very long, and she wouldn't accept criticism.
She threw the last card, and it was one of the worst in the deck. She seemed quite puzzled, as if that card had never shown up in such a crucial position before. Her brow furrowed and she grunted, "Hmm."
"Well, what does it mean?" I asked, already knowing it was a bad card. It was the Four of Cups, a man crying over the spilled cups in front of him, the love and joy that he could not replace.
"Suffering," she responded. "The cards say that your future is definitely going to have some suffering."
"Well, I hope not," I responded.
Instinctively, I knew that it "felt" right for some reason. After all, I had just "lost" my girlfriend, "lost" my chance to go to the college that I wanted, and now had to return home to my mother, where I would basically have to undergo my own feared entrance into the "real world" of jobs, rent and bills.
Plus, I now had my mother's alcoholic boyfriend to contend with as well, who was not very friendly. I had been ignored all last winter as I sat around the house with Mono.
On the train ride back home, I met two very interesting guys from California. They were both headed to the ashram founded by a guru named Baba Muktananda. The ashram was very close to where I had gone to school in New Paltz.
What made the whole thing even more interesting was that one of the guys, who was largely bald, had just finished medical school in California. Before ever opening up his own practice, the man had received a series of visions that literally commanded him to renounce his medical practice and work as a "common person," moving towards becoming a self-sufficient monk.
The man explained how his whole family thought he was crazy for giving up on all of his education. He and his friend had bought one-way tickets, and were simply going to the ashram. They didn't know what else would happen after that point. The doctor's friend had studied with Muktananda while he was still alive, and had a very interesting story. Here is how it went.
Out of all the people at the ashram, Tony (not his real name) was the most disgruntled with the whole situation. He didn't feel like doing work and was growing depressed, longing for the life that he had before.
Muktananda seemed to understand what Tony was feeling. One day when Tony was walking down a hallway in the ashram by himself, Muktananda appeared at the opposite end and stopped, staring at him. Tony stopped walking as well.
Suddenly and inexplicably, Muktananda held out his right hand off to the side, and a small sphere of luminescent blue light appeared in it! He swung his hand around his head and "threw" the ball at Tony.
The ball of light shot through the air and vectored directly into the middle of Tony's brow, at the third eye. The force of the ball of light hitting him knocked him back, and he slumped to the ground.
Almost instantaneously, Tony was overcome with the most profound spiritual ecstasy he had ever felt in his entire life! Nothing he had ever experienced before could match up to this. Even though he was still in the room, another part of him was standing in front of a Pure Light, the Light of the One.
He knew in that instant that it was Home, and it was the most glorious, awesome and religious experience of his life.
Suddenly, he saw Muktananda's legs and robe in front of his face as he lay there on the ground, a blissed-out, blubbering idiot.
"Now, you will stay and be happy, no?" Muktananda asked him.
"Yes, yes, I'll stay, I'll stay," Tony responded. His eyes were still wide in ecstasy.
He watched Muktananda walking away as the visions continued. After that day, Tony became the most energetic, invigorated person in the ashram! He worked overtime to do his chores. And now, he had gotten together with his friend for a one-trip ticket from California to New York, to stay at Muktananda's ashram for an unknown length of time.
Muktananda was no longer in the Earth plane in a physical body, but his daughter Swami Chidvilasananda kept the tradition alive. I wasn't sure if she actually demonstrated similar "Siddhi" powers as Muktananda did.
I was certainly interested by what was happening. I had just gone all the way out to Boulder to find my "spiritual center." Now, these two sincere middle-aged men were coming from California and telling me that the same area where I went to college was, to them, the best spiritual place in the country. It certainly made me think twice about the whole New Paltz / Woodstock, New York area.
I got home and the woman's prophecies came depressingly true. I quickly sank into a catastrophic low point, taking job after meaningless job through temp agencies.
The presence of my mother's boyfriend caused me great unrest and frequent tears, as there was a clear boundary dispute going on. The boyfriend, who we will call Jack, was intent on winning the prize, which was my mother's loyalty and love.
Before too long, Jack had succeeded in getting my drum set moved out of the basement and into the garage. This was done so that he could move his own music studio into the basement. The problem with the garage was that I knew that the whole world would hear me practicing, and I didn't want to disturb anyone.
I was so concerned about other people that I could not bring myself to practice in public in such a manner. I felt as though my main problem was that I was only my mother's son, not her boyfriend. I was no longer the most important person in her life, and it ached like crazy. (Now, my mother has dumped Jack. This problem has healed and we get along wonderfully.)
My mother was putting greater and greater pressure on me to move out. I couldn't take the stress and strain very much longer. I got back in touch with Eric, who was still finishing out his last semester in New Paltz, and told him exactly what was going on.
"You know, ever since I left New Paltz, even when I was in Boulder, all I have ever done is dream about returning there," I said.
"Man, you know you've gotta come down here. There's nothing for you up there any more. You know that and I know that. Why don't you just be honest with yourself. All your friends are down here, and you owe it to yourself to do it, man. Come on."
"Yeah, you're right," I said. Within a matter of days, I had arranged to stay at my jazz guitar friend Adam's house. Since returning from Colorado, I had finally managed to get a car, and now I used it to move all my stuff back to New Paltz.
I ended up sleeping on my air mattress in the middle of Adam's kitchen floor. The very next day after I arrived back in New Paltz, I got a job doing pizza delivery for a local pizzeria. It was the same job that Eric had as well, and we alternated nights.
Before too long, I secured a nice place to live that would only cost me $220 a month in rent- it was one room in a boarding house. I ended up having some serious disputes with my housemates, most of whom were still in college.
They often left the sink filled with dirty dishes that no one ever cleaned, and I ended up doing all of them. If I didn't do them, then they would literally just sit unattended and rot in the sink.
No one in the house was actually a "mean" person, but their laziness was driving me crazy. One night, I dashed off a vitriolic letter and placed it over the dishes. It read,
"HONESTLY, Don't you f--king CARE?"
I got a written response the next day, tacked onto my door from the girl who apparently had left them there. It was semi-retaliatory, saying that there was no need for vulgar language.
But then in the same brief response, there was a note of conciliation, and basically everything ended up working out. I ended up apologizing profusely for my language, saying that I had just gotten so frustrated that I didn't know any other way to communicate.
There was indeed a lightening of the burden, and everyone started to become more responsible. Sometimes it took that level of intensity to bring about the appropriate response. But again, this was not me; this was a David who had been pushed too far, too many times.
The regular David was constantly and consistently dedicated to helping others in every possible way, and had no idea how to stand up to people who tried to drag him down.
This was my identical karma as Edgar Cayce rearing its head again, as Cayce actually died from being unable to say NO to the increasingly exponential demand for his readings. By the end, he was doing eight readings a day, six days a week before he had the stroke that finally did him in.
Soon after this event, Eric and I were hanging out and met one of Eric's long-term friends from the music department, a stunningly beautiful young woman whom we will call Angelica. She was the apple of every man's eye, the woman who all men see when they are in love.
She had an incredible, muscular dancer's figure with very full breasts. She had long, naturally curly brown hair, exotic Caucasian eyes, high cheekbones and voluptuous lips. And to top it all off, she was incredibly intelligent and apparently very well attuned spiritually.
I had spotted her before, and never imagined that I would get the chance to talk to her again. I did remember one day when I walked with Angelica, while I was talking to another friend of mine from the music department. I ended up telling her a little at that time about the UFO / metaphysical research that I was involved with.
Now, I had the chance to meet with Angelica on my own. I had been the one to set it up after we got into a heavy conversation, while hanging out with Eric one night in a local club.
I walked over to Angelica's nearby house to meet her, and on the way there I saw two lovers on a bench, kissing and hugging each other and not realizing or caring if anyone could see them. I wondered if this might have been an omen about my own future with Angelica. Only time would tell.
Angelica had a cool, spacious apartment with bright white walls and hardwood floors. Over in the corner was a striking table that seemed to be from India. It had an ornate, sculpted design, and each of the legs of the table were stylized as the head and trunk of an elephant.
I spent a good bit of time staring at the table and was quite impressed by it. Angelica had a whole series of Indian-looking trinkets on the table, and it seemed to be some sort of a Hindu meditation shrine that she had built.
I started to speak.
"You know, Angelica, this reminds me of these two guys who I met on the train, while I was coming back from Colorado. They both told me about this guru named Baba Muktananda, and said that they were coming all the way out here just to go to his ashram! Have you ever been there?"
I couldn't understand why Angelica's face had suddenly turned pale, and her hands were covering over her mouth. "What, what's wrong?" I asked her, suddenly concerned.
"That. that's my guru," Angelica answered.
I was stunned. "I don't get it. You know this Muktananda guy too?"
"Yes. I lived in the ashram for most of my childhood life with my mother, after my parents divorced. I just left the ashram for the first time two years ago to come to college here at New Paltz."
I replied, "But I still don't get it. Why did you end up in an ashram in the first place?"
Angelica answered, "Well, my father is Indian, and my mother was very intrigued with the culture. She wanted to live in an ashram and be celibate, but Dad didn't want to do that. So, after they split up, my mother took me and we moved in."
I was surprised. "Wow, life in an ashram," I said, more to myself than to Angelica. "That must be fantastic." I stared at her, admiring her beauty.
"No, it's not as great as it seems," Angelica replied. "To me, the whole point is to get that knowledge and take it out of the ashram. If you just go and stay there your whole life, then you will never really bring it to others who need it."
"Yeah, I see where you are coming from," I responded.
Later on that night, Angelica and I walked back to my room. We had an amazing conversation, and the romantic tension definitely hung in the air. I told Angelica a great deal about my research, and left her with my only copy of Graham Hancock's Fingerprints of the Gods.
I was so totally excited and horny from Angelica's presence that I had a hard time sleeping that night.
The next morning, I was quite surprised to get a phone call from Japan, from Yumi. I knew how expensive it was for her to call me, instead of me calling her. We really hadn't kept in touch that well because of the money.
"I had bad dream last night," Yumi said.
Naively, I asked: "Oh, yeah? Tell me about it."
"In my dream, I saw you in your new room, and a woman had entered your room. You looked like you were very interested in her, and I thought that you were going to have a sex with her."
I felt shocked and exposed. I couldn't let the "truth" of this little secret get out.
"Well, I don't know," I lied. "Nothing like that happened here."
"Are you sure?" Yumi answered. "This was real bad dream."
"Yeah, nothing," I responded.
I was squirming like the proverbial slug under the heat lamp. Four days later, Yumi called me to tell me that she had booked a flight to New York, and would visit me there for one week. I had no idea where she got the money to do this, but said "Sure, come on down if you want to."
RETURN OF THE YUMI
Now, another excerpt from my personal journals helps to catalog the arrival of Yumi:
"Just Before" - 10/27/95
"Here I am now, forever encapsulating a moment in words that will never quite happen in the same way again. It is currently time for Yumi to be showing up in person with Eric at my house.
I am feeling all strung out and nervy, my heart is racing and my mind is going nuts. It is hard to try to do this -- I just this minute got home from work. Was that a sound at the door? It sounded like one. I don't know. I am making lots of mistakes trying to flesh out this thing.
Right now is one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Tonight I ended up driving the boss' car because I was too weak to just tell him that I wanted to just not work.
I ended up driving his car after my car was already fixed, but the thing was that I had a perfect excuse to not work because I had to have work done on the car today. I thought it would be a big job, but all they had to do was repair one radiator hose.
My back is in excruciating pain right now because I am doing this instead of stretching, and perhaps because of a calcium deficiency again like the last time.
I don't really know what to write. At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about her coming back here. Then, it seemed to be too early, because I had already dealt with not seeing her, and not being able to see her again for quite some time. Now, it seems that I am a lot more comfortable about the idea of her coming now."
At this moment, Yumi and Eric arrived at the door. Yumi's hair had gotten much longer, and she looked very sexy.
The sweet smell of her perfume and the soft, wet warmth of her lips was outrageously exciting when I kissed her. For the next week, we basically had sex every day, worked in between my loose schedule for delivering pizzas.
The high point of the week was when I took Yumi to the top of a nearby mountain in my car. It took us a while to hike to the top, and Yumi whined and complained the entire time.
Once we actually got up to the top, Yumi was entranced. We took many photographs and enjoyed the scenery. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to take pictures of her myself, as in this idyllic setting I was able to get her into poses and facial expressions that we had never captured on film before.
Little did I realize that this talent for photography was a much more important phase of my past life as Cayce than it was in my own.
While we rested up there, I told Yumi all about the latest book I had been reading, entitled Genesis Revisited by Zecharia Sitchin.
In fact, a remarkable synchronicity had occurred only a few weeks earlier, where I had climbed the same mountain to that very same spot, reading Sitchin's book.
As I was up there, reading fabulous new information and feeling as if all time had suddenly ground to a halt, I suddenly realized what day it was. That very day was my four-year anniversary of sobriety! It was also the first time that I had driven myself to the mountains to hike alone. It was an amazingly beautiful confluence of events.
And now, I was there again with Yumi. Speaking with reverence and awe at how little most of humanity really understands, I expressed my belief that something wonderful was soon to happen on the planet -- something so totally fantastic and outrageous that no one could possibly fathom it before it actually occurred.
I expressed my belief that this was going to be a spiritual event, something that would happen quite suddenly and work hand-in-hand with the Earth Changes that were going to be occurring at the same time. But, I still wasn't really sure exactly what it was.
I had read a little bit about the concept of Ascension, but had no idea about the physical mechanism for how it would actually work. I knew that the UFO material must have something to do with it, and I also intuitively felt that you could understand it all, if you knew what you were looking for.
I brought Yumi back to JFK Airport to see her off. I did not cry when she left, as I had already accepted the fact that I would never see her again before her most recent visit.
She was surprised and somewhat hurt that I did not cry as she boarded the plane. I had more pressing matters to be concerned with at the time. The trip to New York was a nightmare of 80-mph traffic, confusing highways and nauseating smog. I was quite glad when I finally arrived home.
Within days after Yumi's departure, I started working fastidiously during the day to try to get a different job. I did not need to be at the pizzeria until 4:00, so I had plenty of time to get things done. One of the places I applied at was a mental ward at a local hospital.
I got an interview with the manager of the ward, and it went very well; the two of us had a great conversation about the philosophies behind modern psychology, which was extremely interesting to me.
Soon afterwards, I was given the invitation to be hired, and I took it. This surprised everyone at the pizzeria, but they were able to make up for my absence almost immediately.
Now I was on the fast track. I knew that I wanted to go to graduate school for psychology, hopefully in a spiritual concentration, even though my experience with Naropa Institute in Colorado had not panned out.
Every piece of career guidance I had received in college agreed that the best route for any BA to go on the way to graduate school was to get an internship at a psychology-based facility. Doing this would provide me with the direct experience in the field necessary for me to work on my admissions to graduate programs. The future was looking bright.
I started to have "problems" almost immediately while I was on the job. My boss had told me not to engage the patients in conversation, basically not to acknowledge their existence aside from the slimmest courtesies and simple answers to their questions.
I found that it was almost impossible for me to do this -- it was simply not in my nature to be able to "shut people off." These people were hurting, and I knew that talking to them about their problems would help them to feel better. After all, my whole mission on Earth was to help people, to be of service to others, and these people definitely needed it.
To make a long, well-journalized story short, I ended up getting fired in only three weeks from my job. The only reason that my supervisor gave me was that I was too friendly; I was unwilling to "shut down" the patients and ignore them.
I was shocked, horrified, and saddened beyond belief. I had never been fired from a job before, and the pain stung my heart. I cried in my car for a good half-hour before I could compose myself enough to drive home.
The strangest thing about the whole experience was that before I got fired, I had really been making breakthroughs in my ability to stand up for myself and be assertive with the patients.
I felt as if I could have grown into the role of the job, performing my duties with loving care and responsibility, if they had given me just a little bit more time. But the other side of my personality was horrified that a facility that was supposed to be helping people was so driven to make their lives a living hell.
I was not really sure if I could ever become what they truly wanted me to be; it seemed to be antithetical to everything about me as a person. I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, even if they were destroying me in the process.
The lesson would continue to return to me over and over again, right on through the present as I write these words on May 25, 1999. (I think I might have finally gotten the point this time, though. We'll get to that.)
Although I had no idea that such a painful event as getting fired from a job could lead to such incredible personal transformation, that is exactly what happened. Everything that I felt that I was striving for, my education, graduate school and a career as a psychologist, seemed to be completely shattered.
I had been fired at the very first 'real' job I landed, fresh out of college and enthusiastic. What still stirred beneath the surface of my conscious awareness was my immense love for dreams, metaphysics and the UFO field.
I had made many various stabs at writing short fiction stories, and I had been reading an awful lot of books, but it just didn't seem to be a plausible way to make a living. One of my philosophy professors told me before I graduated that if I really wanted to make it in the UFO field, I had better read every book on the subject that I could find.
I had already been doing this, but now my resolve was increased even more. Although I couldn't understand how it might happen, I longed to become an "expert" in metaphysics and make a career for myself. I knew that it would probably take several years to do it.
At the same time that all these things were going on, I also was being prepared for something completely fantastic - the full, conscious realization that I was indeed an extraterrestrial soul in a human body.
This was not to be a fiction story like the others, but the reality of who I was! Getting fired from the mental ward proved to be the turning point that led to this realization. But before I had arrived at this final point, my own Higher Self had given me a great deal of foreshadowing in my dreams.
Since the dreams are so crucial to seeing how I was "set up" for this final realization, we will cite the most interesting excerpts below. All of these dreams occurred before I was fired from my job at the mental ward in October.
7 / 6 / 95 - In this dream, I found myself on top of what appeared to be a giant step pyramid of some kind, remotely similar to the Mayan temples. It was a very large, castle-like building made of stone, with a ring of standing pillars at the summit.
No one else but me seemed to understand that the pillars and the building itself were all designed to function as a giant astronomical calendar. Whatever was going on in this society, it had reached the ultimate crisis point.
Lightning was crashing, the Mayan-style pillars were falling down in front of me and water was flooding at a fantastic rate. It was extremely frightening, to say the least.
All the people around me were from my Honors classes in high school, and I seemed to be a spiritual leader for them. I was able to show them all how to cross over the flooding parts of the castle and get to safety.
In fact, it seemed that we were actually walking on water to do this. At one point, I went out into the water and was able to form huge, beautiful quartz crystals into my hands. I showed them to the people as if they were gifts, but as soon as they tried to grab them, the crystals melted like ice cubes.
7 / 16 / 95 -
I went to some kind of park with my father and brother, I believe. At first, it seemed sort of normal, but we also knew that the rock band KISS would be there.
Dad went into some kind of room to change his clothes, and we ended up waiting a long time for him to get ready. We hurried Dad up, because we wanted to see KISS. We went outside and there they were!
They took us to a different spot in the park, and therein commenced a sight that was a feast for the eyes unduplicated by any movie I have ever seen in my life.
First, the ground opened up, and it seemingly went down forever in this narrow channel. Once I peered down into this incredible channel, I realized that there was a giant spaceship on the side opposite us, absolutely immense in size and in scope!
Then, I looked above me, and it was farther and higher, more technological and beautiful than anything I have ever seen! We were now in front of a spaceship so big that it looked like nothing more than a towering wall, extending as far down and as far up as the eye could see.
Panels of blue-white light in huge rectangles were interspersed along this incredible metallic frame, with dazzling, intricate detail that was visible.
It was absolutely, completely breathtaking. A door either opened or was already open, and the makeup-clad members of KISS led me into a huge corridor faintly reminiscent of the inside of these warehouses I was working at, but jazzed up with a multitude of technological-looking walls and a high amount of Egyptian paraphernalia.
The walls were covered in elaborate, gold-encrusted hieroglyphics, and there were scores of what appeared to be solid-gold statues. The hall was incredible in height, and the sheer awesomeness of what I was seeing was just unparalleled. Nothing could have prepared me for the incredible experience that I was having at that moment.
(The thought did not occur to me for quite some time that I might have actually been seeing the Hall of Records, which was built by Ra-Ta, Cayce's (my) Egyptian incarnation. Or, it could actually be just what the dream says it is - the inside of a space station of some sort.)
As I went in further, I met about three giant beings, almost 25 to 30 feet tall. They were quite extraordinary, as they appeared to be living statues made out of solid gold. They were so tremendous in height that they practically touched the ceiling of this massive hall that we were in.
Their oversized heads were shaped like flattened fishbowls, and their features were very stylized, appearing to look like Mayan sculpted faces.
They were wearing golden robes, and they dwarfed me with their size. They told me to come with them, and we walked down the hall together. I wasn't about to disagree with them, and the whole thing was utterly breathtaking.
First, they took me to a large statue that appeared to commemorate Horus, the falcon-god. They said that they had to find another one, because the original one was destroyed somehow.
They were not any more specific than that about this statement. Then, they took me to something that looked just like the oldest desk that I had when I was growing up. They urged me to search through the desk and go through my past in order to find batteries to power a sound keyboard, similar to the one that Jude and I had used to make our earliest music.
In order to find these batteries, I had to go through various things that I recognized from all different parts of my life.
[The music would become a very frequent dream metaphor that illustrated my work with channeling. The part about Horus seems to actually be about Cayce. It was clear that they wanted me to review the events in my past to work up to the point of being a channel.]
I finally located the batteries, and then they told me that I could go.
I went back outside and met up with Dad and Mike, and my perception then expanded to see the pyramids from an overhead view. First I saw a big silo and two smaller ones in front of the big three, and everything was covered with snow!
Then, from the ground, I saw this giant planetoid of a brownish color rise high into the sky from the place in the ground where I had just been. It looked just like the Martian moon Phobos, and seemed to float up like a balloon. I was in awe of all this as I again saw the "snow view" of the Gizeh complex.
ANALYSIS: The Phobos section seemed to confirm the suspicions of writers like Zecharia Sitchin, who insinuate that it is not a natural object. Its orbit is so eccentric and fast that many have concluded that it is hollow inside, and had to be designed by some outside intelligent force. Perhaps I got a good look at what is hiding inside.
7 / 21 / 95-
I saw a plane at the beginning of this dream, almost impossibly close to the ground and enormous, trying to land in a leaflike, fluttering motion. It was very similar to the UFOs that I saw in my dreams as a youth.
I then went outside and saw a baby in the water -- a metaphor of a new birth in the waters of the Spirit. At that point, I understood that everything was now taking place on the ocean, in a ship. Things were not so easy there, either. It appears that we were survivors of a global pole shift..
Then, I was addressing this group, telling them that we had had a pole shift or apocalypse, and that things wouldn't be very easy anymore. I had a newspaper, and I told everyone that they could have two sheets each to use as a blanket.
One woman started to violently argue with me, and after I while I eventually convinced her to do it, much to everyone else's satisfaction.
7 / 25 / 95 -
I was at a local museum, going to see a quite incredible UFO exhibit called "Anomalous Flying Spheres." While I was inside, I met a weird-looking girl who could read my mind. She was shocked when I revealed to her that I knew what she was doing.
I sat down next to her and told her (a metaphor for myself) that she needed to meditate more often to develop her abilities. I then started to discourse on the UFO materials that I have been researching, and an overweight man (my own lower, habit-patterned self) became very angry with me about this.
The man wanted to fight, and I did not back down. We went outside and I became a third-party observer, watching myself as I won the fight. As soon as I won, a spherical UFO appeared in the sky, and I began to fly into the air, higher and higher.
Suddenly, for some reason, I said, "Take me through the vortex!" I then came back to an Earth that was altogether different, but dimly familiar to me in some way. Everyone was wearing white robes, and it appeared to be a very enlightened society.
I had an immediate feeling of kinship with the energy there. There were megalithic stoneworks in this society like Stonehenge, and the stones were a very pure color of white. An exotic-looking woman was there, very attractive, and she seemed to want sex with me.
As soon as I tried to do it, something seemed to block me, and I came back to my body. I strongly felt afterwards as if this was a clear-cut trip back to Atlantis, where I must have lived in a past life.
9 / 3 / 95 -
The day I moved to New Paltz to start my new life on Adam's kitchen floor.
9 / 13 / 95 -
While dreaming, I realized that I was in a dream. The whole question of extraterrestrial contact was big on my mind. I turned it into a lucid dream -- I was home, in the driveway, and I flew up into the air and realized that I could never seem to get beyond a certain height, possibly because of fear.
So there I was, flying up higher and higher, and I just started calling out "Where are you? Come to me! Show yourselves!" Nothing was happening, from what I could tell, but there were these two bizarre lights in the distance that did appear to be UFOs.
I sank back down to the earth and tried to run through a fence to convince myself that everything was just a dream. The fence stretched like a rubber band, but I couldn't get through it. I tried to mentally project what might be on the other side but that didn't work either.
ANALYSIS: The night before this dream happened, I had discussed with my friend Mat how I wished that the "aliens" would talk to me, after all the research that I have done on them.
He suggested that they might have already done so and that I just don't recall it. So, I ended up having a dream that reflected my intense desire to know.
The general tone of the dream seemed to be that I am somehow lacking the full spiritual preparations for this full spoken contact at this point. The ships were there, but far away.
I couldn't raise above a certain point, I couldn't burst through the material world or the fence that held me in. This fence seems to indicate a boundary that still exists within my mind, something that is blocking my full contact at this point.
9 / 18 / 95 -
(David's Note: This was the day that Yumi decided to call and announce that she would come to America to see me. The dream possessed a wide variety of symbols that made it very, very clear that the event was prophesied before I ever had actually gotten the call.)
ANALYSIS: All in all, we have here a clear-cut example of mental telepathic communication, wherein her ideas before going to bed where transmitted to my dreaming brain in the morning with an astonishing degree of accuracy.
10 / 7 / 95 -
There was a machine that had captured these spiritual entities, so that they were unable to escape. At the end of the dream, they finally broke free and literally consumed the negatively oriented man who had trapped them.
This was directly connected to extraterrestrials, and the fact that the head on the Greys that everyone sees was nothing more than a helmet. I got the sense that this might be a helmet that I myself could wear.
10 / 10 / 95 -
In this dream, I ended up being symbolized as a thin person in a boxing match. The character realized that he was no match for the giant who he had to fight. He was terrified at the size of this opponent. But then when the fight began, everyone in the audience including the main character turned into monsters.
The main character turned into a cartoonish monster, and effortlessly and savagely destroyed his opponent. He was looking at the bloody monster that he had defeated and at the audience, and he was disgusted with their monstrosity. He felt trapped in their world of violence.
10 / 12 / 95 -
This dream started out with myself and my UFO friend Mat, driving out to someplace to try to investigate an apparent UFO encounter. For some reason, we were extremely frightened about what might happen.
Later on in the dream, I was on my way back home, without Mat. At the intersection of my street with that of my friend Don, my mother was washing her car on a round, rotating pedestal.
I knew something was wrong as soon as I approached her, because she seemed to be very disturbed. As soon as I got close to her, she told me that my cat Mandy (symbolic of my lower, animal self) was dead.
She explained to me that Mandy had to face her UFO double, who was bigger, and that her throat had been slit. Mom somehow knew this, even though she hadn't seen it yet.
Then, we seemed to be in a grocery store, and I was calling out for my UFO friend Mat, but he was nowhere to be found. I was very, very nervous and didn't even really know why.
I felt compelled to approach a dish that contained a giant leek within it, and pick it up. I somehow knew that by agreeing to pick up this leek, I was agreeing to face my own impending UFO contact alone. I was extremely afraid about doing this, but I managed to pick up the leek anyway.
10 / 27 / 95 -
A section of my father's house became like a big pit, and the whole thing turned into some kind of ancient mysteries / archeological dig wherein there were masks used to mark the spot and direction of whatever it was that we were digging for.
It seemed as though there was some big thing we were after, and we knew we were going to find it soon.
11 / 8 / 95 -
In one part of this dream, I was looking at some sort of intricate, elaborate set of star maps used for space travel. It seemed that I was being told that going through a galaxy involved a great deal of work.
To actually travel between galaxies was a tremendous proposition, and there was a very odd feeling that came through the body in the process. Then, I was reflecting on a manned mission to Pluto that was being fed to me, and I seemed to have a rubber ball model of the planet in my hands.
I was squeezing it, and these people were telling me that it wasn't much different from Earth inside. This ball looked almost identical to the Martian moon Phobos balloon from my dream last month.
Then, I was thinking about all the shattered moonlets of Uranus and Neptune and how Zecharia Sitchin thought that they proved the existence of the tenth planet, Nibiru. I saw a visual image of this planet in the dream as being grayish-white in color.
ANALYSIS: I seemed to be fed information related to interstellar travel and the boundaries of it like I was in some sort of class.
Directly after the part where I was squeezing Pluto like a sponge in my hands and seeing Nibiru, I woke right up at exactly 5:55. I was totally shocked to have this synchronicity appear like that. By this point, I know this to be a number that has great synchronicity to me, AND THEM.
11 / 20 / 95 - (The day I would end up getting fired from my job at the mental ward.)
At some point in this dream there was an airshow, and I saw colossal aircraft flying much too close to the ground, just like the dreams that I used to have when I was very young.
Also, the craft were a little dented, and I could see inside one of them. To my surprise, it appeared to be completely empty inside, and I wondered who or what was flying it.
Another part of this dream involved a girl who was part human and part alien. I seemed to have a very close kinship with her, for some reason.
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