No One In Particular...

Hey guys and gals,

Though I may be acting codependently and caretaking, for the sake of
administrative convenience let's again say for the record that the list of
guidelines is posted AUTOMATICALLY each Saturday night. It is not in
response to any one person's post, ever. All moderation issues are dealt
with privately.

We are on the brink of having our first Eleusinian mystery-school text
ready, but there are still three people who haven't given us their 10 pages
yet. Chris has been dealing with this privately, and if they are not
finished they will be reassigned - but we don't want to duplicate our
efforts. I'm going to start scanning in the next crop of books once we get
the first one finished, and have plenty to do in the meantime. Once we get
the pages consolidated I'm going to do one final editing pass, and then
we'll be putting it into PDF form for easy reading and downloading.

Larry has finally gotten me fully trained on my audio archive, so I'm now
finally able to update it as often as necessary. We're also discussing a
change in the interface that we can do when I have more funding, which will
make the whole website function much more like Itunes as we get ready for
the film.

There are actually so many good things going on that as you can see, I'm up
really late. I've literally gone through all my closets and eliminated five
different boxes worth of stuff, much of which was superfluous audio cables
that are now going to find new homes through Goodwill. I also just threw
away or recycled a lot of stuff as well. I was having some major hassles
with a memory upgrade to my music studio, bumping it up to 2GB, but Larry
was able to talk me through the whole thing. Now the whole ensemble is
working so well I can hardly believe my ears. There are MANY great things
ahead.

There's a psychological component to the physical cleansing of the space as
well - finally learning to claim my own respect and power so that I am not
perpetually a target for manipulation from others. A critical threshold has
been reached in this category. I've been having dreams telling me, every
morning for well over a week, that I was really, really close to a
breakthrough but there was one little piece missing, and now I've finally
found that piece and am working on it.

There could well be a whole reading done on just the metaphysical importance
of cleaning your house and cleaning your bodily temple. Both aspects are SO
important. Oftentimes we have things sitting in the same place for so long
that we've long since given up the energy that was put into it. Clutter is
an externalized projection of a psychological state. Closets in particular
represent the subconscious mind, the buried stuff - so this is really
powerful change.

I know a lot of people idolize me - I certainly get enough emails like that
and it's gotten a lot worse - but I'm finally moving to a place where I feel
consistently good about myself without a sense of perpetual obligation to
sacrifice myself for others. One case in point was that on the flight back
from New York, I actually tilted my seat back in the airplane.

This may sound ridiculous, but I am so keen on not "infringing" on the
stranger behind me that even when people inevitably tilt their seats ALL the
way back, making me very claustrophobic, I have categorically REFUSED to do
the same thing to the person behind me - even on multi-hour international
flights! True. I only do it if the seat behind me is unoccupied, but I
realized that this was silly and the person who does not put their seat back
is making a choice of their own free will.

Another important point is that I am finally learning to say "no" to
invitations that I cannot meet or do not want to meet, and doing so without
any feelings of guilt. This again may seem strange, but I've been so oddly
over-balanced towards self-martyrdom in the past that I was very vulnerable,
particularly in person. Email I was able to have a wall with, but face to
face was really difficult - hence I almost never did readings in person
because people could just drag the session on and on by their desire.

I'm probably not doing a good job of conveying how heavy this shift really
is, because it's late and I'm tired and don't really have time to go through
multiple passes. Suffice it to say that when you finally DO feel good enough
about yourself, a decisive psychological switch can go off in your mind
where suddenly you are not self-sabotaging anymore, but have enlightened the
ego so that it can do its job in a healthy way as part of the greater
mind/body/spirit complex.

Peace be with you -

- David

Thank you so much, David. Everything you said makes sense and the energy of
clutter definitely drags you down. I have struggled with it for years -- my
own clutter & the clutter of those around me! The battle never ends. I
feel re-energized to continue working on de-cluttering my life!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thank you for being so open and honest, David. I'm sure I'm not the only one
that can relate to some of what you struggle with. I have some of those same
lessons to come through. In using the Godlen Rule in a world where it seems
largely to have been forgotten or ignored, I find myself in self-martyrdom
because I stick to it so strongly. But as you say it is a choice. How does one
do what they think is right and not get stepped on though? Rhetorical question,
I'm not expecting an answer. I'll sort it out, eventually.

And I TOTALLY know what you mean about the clutter! My husband is always
trying to get me to clear out the clutter and I know he's right but I am such a
sentimental fool I keep lots of things because of the memory or nostalgia
connected to them. I have been letting go of some things. I try to say to
myself, "Do you serve me now or do I keep you only because you served me once
upon a time?" In doing that I am able to let some things go that don't serve me
now. I do make very regular donations to Big Brothers, Vets, Goodwill, etc. But
I have a long way to go, too. Horizontal space is still at a premium. And it
does feel really good when I see some clear space.

Can't wait to read the rest of the book you're putting in the library. I'm
amazed at how forward thinking this person was for the '70s!

Yes, late nights, disturbed sleep, vivid dreams...tired. I know that feeling.
I hope all is well on the film front and good luck with everything you have
coming up.

Peace also be with you and all of us,
Valarie


David Wilcock <djw333@...> wrote:
Hey guys and gals,
(snip)
There are actually so many good things going on that as you can see, I'm up
really late. I've literally gone through all my closets and eliminated five
different boxes worth of stuff, much of which was superfluous audio cables
that are now going to find new homes through Goodwill. I also just threw
away or recycled a lot of stuff as well. ... There are MANY great things
ahead.

[jess9dob]

In a message dated 9/10/06 4:29:59 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
djw333@... writes:

> Another important point is that I am finally learning to say "no" to
> invitations that I cannot meet or do not want to meet, and doing so without
> any feelings of guilt. This again may seem strange, but I've been so oddly
> over-balanced towards self-martyrdom in the past that I was very
vulnerable,
> particularly in person.

I am just recently learning to see the signs of when someone is trying to
control me with guilt, like I owe them what they would demand of me. I want to
be of service in the world, and I want to be there for anyone who comes to me
in friendship and a desire to share. But being blind to the signs of a psychic
predator, I was vulnerable to people who would pretend to be offering of
themselves but actually were more interested in someone to use or abuse. The
signs that give me a clue are if the person is giving me a choice to engage with
them or not, without blame. If I feel pressured, that is my signal that I
don't want to go anywhere with them. Although, if they accept my no without
blame, I will probably change my mind and become open to them.

The hardest part of this was getting to where I felt like I deserved to
control my own space.

Agape,
Don Eli

On 9/10/06, viviangardens@... <viviangardens@...> wrote:
>
> I want to be of service in the world, and I want to be there for anyone
> who comes to me
> in friendship and a desire to share.


A: This is what I've come to realize. The system that expels more entropy
than it accrues is the one that survives. The focusing of the entropy
outwards is the STO-orientation, and for both orientations, there are two
pegs you can hook your car battery to-- service and mastery. The correct
hookup is other-service, self-mastery, because the other way around is like
putting positive to negative, which is the STS imbalance. And really, too,
it's known if you create a vacuum, nature will replenish it with whatever
was expended. This is part of the reason why self-service/ other-mastery
results in implosion.

So, you should always internally evaluate your actions and how it either
contributes to self-mastery or other-service, and see what the net gain is.
If you feel it's to the detriment of yourself too much, you can't abuse
yourself, or the pain will always come back to you somehow. Notice, too,
it's impossible to deceive yourself as well, because you have within
yourself boundaries as to what's acceptable and not, which apply to your own
actions and others'. Every moment presents an opportunity for either
other-service or self-mastery, and the same goes for the people around you.
So, if you feel like you can't beneficially get involved, don't! Because
it's easy to get sucked into something endlessly and continually demanding
because of one thing you did or gave. If you think there's nothing gainful
for everybody to contribute on your part, you don't have to contribute at
all.

But then again, you have to gauge for yourself, because no one rule can
apply. Even just typing all that out, I can think of all the different ways
how setbacks and pain could be transmuted into catalysts for one or the
other. But seeing how I see things now, I would put the self-mastery process
before other-service, and go with the flow of whatever that would entail.
So, if the world were going to burn in a fire and there was nothing anybody
could do about it, I would try to see if I could use the moment to find
peace for myself, instead of trying to meddle with everyone else. But! If I
had already found that peace, then I could have the right to give that same
peace to at least one other person. I can't give to someone what I don't
have, because that's when service becomes debt.

Hopefully I haven't distorted our loved, One Law unrightly. Just some
superficial thoughts.

Be well,
A


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