Recognizing the negative path, self-service & dealing with it.

[AmelieJolie]

halexandriaangel and raynebowolf, i wasn't sure whether to post my thoughts or not, but i have decided to now.

i have experienced similar. maybe we shouldn't be blaming the children however.

perhaps these children are highly energetic individuals, whether physically/ mentally or both, who simply are not designed by nature to fit into the unnatural kind of society as we know it. perhaps in a world where it is safe to let these children play outside in nature, in fresh air, and with others- at any time- without worrying about them.....then their behaviour problems as they currently are would not exist. instead the majority of humanity has to live much of its life cooped up indoors, turning to computer games and such for stimulation instead of being outside, running around and receiving the healing benefits of trees and sunshine which can heal the body, mind and spirit.

i feel in my heart, that the connection nature is very important to the human soul. i mean actually as part of one's life-style, working in harmony with the earth rather than working against her; trying to control or manipulate nature. we can even help to raise the vibration of nature by raising our own consciousness to work with her, with love and nurturing.

i'm not sure where these words are coming from exactly as i myself have not had the chance to live this way of life....i have tears in my eyes as i type this because i feel it so deeply in my heart, i almost feel like i am crying for the people who lived this way of life and hand it taken from them, their land replaced by all these cities, which ever since i was a child, felt were not good for human beings to live in. if at the time i ever expressed these feelings i would be ridiculed.

i don't know what the immediate answer is, concerning your children, and that also goes for my own. i just feel we need to love them, accept them for who they are, be as patient as we can and allow them to make mistakes......isn't that why we are here.....to learn from our mistakes?

also, halexandriaangel, i wonder what it is your daughter is feeling inside herself, deep down, that is causing herself to express herself in such ways on the surface? the only way to find a solution is to find and understand the root core of something.

as far as the whole sto and sts thing.......in my own opinion.....there ideally needs to be a balance between the two. for example, in order to be of any good to others, we must first take care of ourselves. secondly, there is a time to give and a time to take. it's tuning ourselves in to that balanced sense of timing which i believe is the key. to give a another example....in my own personal experience parents that are too selfless tend to create selfish children. on the other hand, people i've known whose own parents were on the selfish side tend to be very giving and more selfless. i think there is a balance. (i hope i haven't offended anyone).

i hope this helps.
just sharing some of my personal feelings on the matter.

[HalexandriaAngel]

to tim,

bless you... and thank you and i feel for you. i know that you get me exactly by the choice of words you used when you described your child situation. it is important for everyone to understand that these children are not victims of any nature neglect, nor are they products of some terribly unloving upbringing or even abuse for that matter. these children are the abusers and it is simply unfathomable unless you live it i guess. it is truly unbelievable. look up odd like add or adhd. the odd is precisely what my child is like on a daily not weekly but daily basis for those who wish to look at this more in depth.

tim, i have truly wished to be in a situation like yours where a father and mother were present. as it is i could not date and expect any man to want to take this on , or for any stranger to see this and remain having any level of respect for me. not unless they gave it a chance to really see what is happening here, and why would they do that? i if i even get a phone call, she is constantly trying to disrupt that call. i never get calls but when i do, well i am sure you know the score.

listen, you must please sit your wife down and explain that she can not undermine your authority or responsibility to the childs well being ever. especially in front of the child. if she has a problem with your discipline and intends to remain married , she needs to talk to you in private and then if you both collectively decide a change is in order, only you can then do the change , so that the child does not play you both against each other. he will end your marriage if you don't stop this. you know it as well as i do.

you must do the this , she will in the end thank you for being the man of the house and laying down the law so to speak. in love i really hope you choose to do it today. don't let him take your marriage too. he has a really good chance with you being the heavy hand. your wife must support you. for the child and for the marriage.

you are a good man to still be sticking in there and i hope you find the strength to do the right thing here. i too am an empath. i will say that the ra material has allowed me to finally live more balanced in this area. no longer do i close myself off for weeks at a time literally when faced with horrors in the news. this is a huge burden now balanced and i am more able to progress with normalacy. i still am stricken with pain, but it is manageable and passes quickly with the wisdom to know it is all so part of the program for these victims etc. i will be lifting you and sending you boat loads of love everyday, and the strength to take hold of the reins in your household and with love get really truthful with the mrs. good luck to you.

also, please try and not resent her for what she has been doing. easier said than done, but in all fairness, you have allowed her poor behavior in your household. this is serious enough that you must be the head of your castle. help the boy and do it before he destroys your marriage. forgive and start fresh from that moment. forgive and no resentment and ask her to try and do the same. it will create a perfect playing field to help all of you.

my best wishes.

[HalexandriaAngel]

halexandriaangel and raynebowolf, i wasn't sure whether to post my thoughts or not, but i have decided to now.

i have experienced similar. maybe we shouldn't be blaming the children however.

perhaps these children are highly energetic individuals, whether physically/ mentally or both, who simply are not designed by nature to fit into the unnatural kind of society as we know it. perhaps in a world where it is safe to let these children play outside in nature, in fresh air, and with others- at any time- without worrying about them.....then their behaviour problems as they currently are would not exist. instead the majority of humanity has to live much of its life cooped up indoors, turning to computer games and such for stimulation instead of being outside, running around and receiving the healing benefits of trees and sunshine which can heal the body, mind and spirit.

i feel in my heart, that the connection nature is very important to the human soul. i mean actually as part of one's life-style, working in harmony with the earth rather than working against her; trying to control or manipulate nature. we can even help to raise the vibration of nature by raising our own consciousness to work with her, with love and nurturing.

i'm not sure where these words are coming from exactly as i myself have not had the chance to live this way of life....i have tears in my eyes as i type this because i feel it so deeply in my heart, i almost feel like i am crying for the people who lived this way of life and hand it taken from them, their land replaced by all these cities, which ever since i was a child, felt were not good for human beings to live in. if at the time i ever expressed these feelings i would be ridiculed.

i don't know what the immediate answer is, concerning your children, and that also goes for my own. i just feel we need to love them, accept them for who they are, be as patient as we can and allow them to make mistakes......isn't that why we are here.....to learn from our mistakes?

also, halexandriaangel, i wonder what it is your daughter is feeling inside herself, deep down, that is causing herself to express herself in such ways on the surface? the only way to find a solution is to find and understand the root core of something.

as far as the whole sto and sts thing.......in my own opinion.....there ideally needs to be a balance between the two. for example, in order to be of any good to others, we must first take care of ourselves. secondly, there is a time to give and a time to take. it's tuning ourselves in to that balanced sense of timing which i believe is the key. to give a another example....in my own personal experience parents that are too selfless tend to create selfish children. on the other hand, people i've known whose own parents were on the selfish side tend to be very giving and more selfless. i think there is a balance. (i hope i haven't offended anyone).

i hope this helps.
just sharing some of my personal feelings on the matter.

i wanted you to know that i found your response very beautiful. i too feel that one of the biggest keys to activating this 4th density body is to cop a squat and hang out in nature. go hug a tree etc. i mean it.

i do want you to know that i am not blaming my child for this. not at all. i am not finding blame, as that is pretty unhelpful. my child was born this way. she was 7 weeks old when lost the first babysitter after returning to work. 7 weeks old. she demanded to be held 24/7. i had no idea that i had spoiled her , but when you think about it, the last thing i wanted to do was leave my brand new baby to go to work, so when i got home at night, in my arms was where she was. within reason. i mean i did put her down, but then my then 12 yr old would pick her up for her turn i guess. she has always been loved. she does not hate not really , she just is a bad child. she got kicked out of preshool for pete sakes. she has never once , not once taken any responsibility for bad behavior. i could be standing watching her interact with a nabor child and see her do something wrong and she still says it was the other person who did it first or finds justification. it is a serious thing as she can't keep friends and she has trouble in school. i am a great parent, as far as that goes. i truly am. i am wise smart and on to her, try to be consistant as possible, listen, and allow her to express herself. she is always grounded or something . it isn't even that, that bothers me. she is the laziest person i have ever met. she won't move unless i am standing behind her with a hand full of her hair wrapped in my hand.

i don't want to live that way. i feel it causes me to lose polarity by having to react physically. not to mention that i don't want to pull her hair or anything to hurt her . i love her , shes everything , the only thing she allows me to have really. i know how it sounds i do. i have whooped her butt and in a store too, and dared anyone to even say 1 thing to me. i don't allow her to do bad things to me without consequences. it does stop the offenses, even for a moment.

no i am sure this is a chance for me to learn how to love the dark side as the creator . i have always had problems with that concept. to read there is no good and evil really shocked me. bad is everywhere. so this is needed for me and it has really helped. i just can't risk her life for tthe future by not helping to create a chance that she could be a successful member of society. i worry about high school. kids today don't just get in fights , they get stuck, killed, shot. if anyone would be a target for something like that it would be her. she is quite the little brat.

i also spend much time building her up. she is very intelligent and quick. she gets bored but she deals with it. she has to be 1st in line, and she has to be in the center of attention or the teachers pet so she can rub that in all the other kids noses. she was suspended from school because the teacher made her stop singing in class, and so shje hummed while rolling on the floor.

now ... you getting a better picture?


weee . '

i do love your post though it was very moving for me. and i agree with your thoughts as well.

[RayneboWolf]

since before i even arrived here in the usa ,i knew (via webcam) what the score was ,i was horriied yet still strongely compelled to be here.i also thought that i could help and over time make it all work out ,knowing the task was great and made much much greater by the fact that we live in a tiny tiny place (set in large enough grounds to be free-er in summer )and i have not yet been granted citizenship (dhs bleed you dry for that privilage).
anyway back to the issue at hand. the boy has scared others off,yet 5,000 miles and loosing everything (materially)i still got on that plane and just left my 3 bed house with all my belongings behind me,some of which i treasured greatly and some of which cannot ever be replaced due to that fact that i loved collecting rare books and fairy stutuettes lol,(amongst other things).so basically, i left behind my whole worldly identity.
this sacrifice was harder than i could have ever imagined but i knew that by releasing myself of material things i was also aiding my spiritual understanding that all is transient.a hard lesson to let go of friends too and my daughter who is 19 years old.
i miss everyone tremendously and over time (been here over a year now) i am starting to cope with all that.
what`s really strange is i have no reference to life here, as all my history until recently is left behind,so it`s like "wiping the slate clean" ,what an odd feeling!!! .in my dreams i can only see things back home and only on occasion do i dream of being in a now situation.
yes the threat of breakup is a real one as you can only take so much "hair greying" situations lol.yes i have also tried talking to my wife ,who is a gentle soul with a compassionate heart but a fierce warrior when it comes to protecting her brood. many people have suggested we sit down and talk ,we have and it goes nowhere ,i meet a brick wall and it`s over.
it`s all making me pine for my sacred places ,crop circles and loving friends faces but i will not give up so easily
p.s your a true empath as when i read your first account i felt that and when i read your reply to me i felt like i knew what you where about to write ,so it all made perfect sense:d
love <peace and unity tim ~x)o(x~

to tim,

bless you... and thank you and i feel for you. i know that you get me exactly by the choice of words you used when you described your child situation. it is important for everyone to understand that these children are not victims of any nature neglect, nor are they products of some terribly unloving upbringing or even abuse for that matter. these children are the abusers and it is simply unfathomable unless you live it i guess. it is truly unbelievable. look up odd like add or adhd. the odd is precisely what my child is like on a daily not weekly but daily basis for those who wish to look at this more in depth.

tim, i have truly wished to be in a situation like yours where a father and mother were present. as it is i could not date and expect any man to want to take this on , or for any stranger to see this and remain having any level of respect for me. not unless they gave it a chance to really see what is happening here, and why would they do that? i if i even get a phone call, she is constantly trying to disrupt that call. i never get calls but when i do, well i am sure you know the score.

listen, you must please sit your wife down and explain that she can not undermine your authority or responsibility to the childs well being ever. especially in front of the child. if she has a problem with your discipline and intends to remain married , she needs to talk to you in private and then if you both collectively decide a change is in order, only you can then do the change , so that the child does not play you both against each other. he will end your marriage if you don't stop this. you know it as well as i do.

you must do the this , she will in the end thank you for being the man of the house and laying down the law so to speak. in love i really hope you choose to do it today. don't let him take your marriage too. he has a really good chance with you being the heavy hand. your wife must support you. for the child and for the marriage.

you are a good man to still be sticking in there and i hope you find the strength to do the right thing here. i too am an empath. i will say that the ra material has allowed me to finally live more balanced in this area. no longer do i close myself off for weeks at a time literally when faced with horrors in the news. this is a huge burden now balanced and i am more able to progress with normalacy. i still am stricken with pain, but it is manageable and passes quickly with the wisdom to know it is all so part of the program for these victims etc. i will be lifting you and sending you boat loads of love everyday, and the strength to take hold of the reins in your household and with love get really truthful with the mrs. good luck to you.

also, please try and not resent her for what she has been doing. easier said than done, but in all fairness, you have allowed her poor behavior in your household. this is serious enough that you must be the head of your castle. help the boy and do it before he destroys your marriage. forgive and start fresh from that moment. forgive and no resentment and ask her to try and do the same. it will create a perfect playing field to help all of you.

my best wishes.

[RayneboWolf]

ameliejolie,i agree with you 100% that most kids are deprived of the earth contact (which i find hard to be without personally) and the symptons of that deprivation are manifest in a society geared to show,comedy,sport and games etc etc (not to mention junk food that kids love then won`t eat healthily lol) but here, where i am now living there are rivers ,hills and trees ,not to mention the grounds we live upon that are fairly extensive.my stepson is a nature freak and spends all the warm weather time outside in nature being fascinated by the wildlife and especially the insect life,so he is not one who is deprived of nature at all.thankyou you most kindly dear soul for sharing your thoughts they are most welcome .i don`t know the answer (yet) lol ,maybe he`s even an indigo child and reacts the way he does in extreme frustration ??? he does get very very frustrated yet gives no time to problem solving .if something occures that urks him ,whatever it may be ,he totally looses control.maybe that is a sympton of the indigo child ? and if so as time goes on it will all balance out ?
love peace and unity ~x)o(x~ tim.

halexandriaangel and raynebowolf, i wasn't sure whether to post my thoughts or not, but i have decided to now.

i have experienced similar. maybe we shouldn't be blaming the children however.

perhaps these children are highly energetic individuals, whether physically/ mentally or both, who simply are not designed by nature to fit into the unnatural kind of society as we know it. perhaps in a world where it is safe to let these children play outside in nature, in fresh air, and with others- at any time- without worrying about them.....then their behaviour problems as they currently are would not exist. instead the majority of humanity has to live much of its life cooped up indoors, turning to computer games and such for stimulation instead of being outside, running around and receiving the healing benefits of trees and sunshine which can heal the body, mind and spirit.

i feel in my heart, that the connection nature is very important to the human soul. i mean actually as part of one's life-style, working in harmony with the earth rather than working against her; trying to control or manipulate nature. we can even help to raise the vibration of nature by raising our own consciousness to work with her, with love and nurturing.

i'm not sure where these words are coming from exactly as i myself have not had the chance to live this way of life....i have tears in my eyes as i type this because i feel it so deeply in my heart, i almost feel like i am crying for the people who lived this way of life and hand it taken from them, their land replaced by all these cities, which ever since i was a child, felt were not good for human beings to live in. if at the time i ever expressed these feelings i would be ridiculed.

i don't know what the immediate answer is, concerning your children, and that also goes for my own. i just feel we need to love them, accept them for who they are, be as patient as we can and allow them to make mistakes......isn't that why we are here.....to learn from our mistakes?

also, halexandriaangel, i wonder what it is your daughter is feeling inside herself, deep down, that is causing herself to express herself in such ways on the surface? the only way to find a solution is to find and understand the root core of something.

as far as the whole sto and sts thing.......in my own opinion.....there ideally needs to be a balance between the two. for example, in order to be of any good to others, we must first take care of ourselves. secondly, there is a time to give and a time to take. it's tuning ourselves in to that balanced sense of timing which i believe is the key. to give a another example....in my own personal experience parents that are too selfless tend to create selfish children. on the other hand, people i've known whose own parents were on the selfish side tend to be very giving and more selfless. i think there is a balance. (i hope i haven't offended anyone).

i hope this helps.
just sharing some of my personal feelings on the matter.

[conundrum]

i am an empath to a high degree and being so makes all this even more intensly out of harmonic resonance with me.in a "nut shell" i have wondered the same as you,have i been given this situation to better my understanding of how to relate to children who are downright abusive ,selfish,versed in the art of emotional blackmail and failing that have the ability to get away with everything because mother will not use (((appropriate controls))) to reign in the "monster".

i found this particular document and quote very insightful in regards to high lighting my own shadow monster or ego.
keep in mind that we are a blank slate or veiled when we are born here or as best as i can remember i was.
my pet dog emotionally black mails me when it wants to be fed it whimpers at the door until i feel (guilty) and feed it i only feel guilty because i know the dog needs feeding and i have neglected my duties.
mind you dogs are not human but they are not with out intelligence even though some times they chase there own tails.

d: right. and, you know, these entities are looked at as pretty frightening by normal humans, but it’s because humans don’t have ways to become comparable to those entities in power or in understanding: to have comparable abilities to entities that are stuck in a repetition of (quote) “evilness” or “acts of (control, domination and power,”) rather than having their own freedom.

http://projectcamelot.org/dane_tops.html

[FooSnik]

i have something to share here and it is coming from a very deep place. from a lot of struggle in my life.

love is a two way street.

self-service is absolutely necessary to be a happy healthy human being. it is not evil at all. to be serving other people all the time then you are neglecting yourself. and that is just as bad. because you are just as worthy of love too.

my point is there must be a balance of self-service and service to others.

i did this for 30 years of my life. i neglected myself and just cared about what others needed or thought of me. it got me so drained and defeated i nearly died.

so, in my opinion, service others and service yourself. in, out, in out. like breathing.

this was a hard lesson for me learned in a very hard way.

with love,
foo

[conundrum]

self-service is absolutely necessary to be a happy healthy human being. it is not evil at all. to be serving other people all the time then you are neglecting yourself. and that is just as bad. because you are just as worthy of love too.

mutual respect, honesty, love and gratitude oh and don't forget to 4give your self if you find your self out of integrity.

if you can not 4give your self there is no way in hell are you going to love your self and if you do not love your self you are not going to be able to love any one else.. maybe use or abuse take things for granted lie cheat steal rape pillage that sort of thing or possibly play the victim role when life gets over whelming.

[FooSnik]

mutual respect, honesty, love and gratitude oh and don't forget to 4give your self if you find your self out of integrity.

if you can not 4give your self there is no way in hell are you going to love your self and if you do not love your self you are not going to be able to love any one else.. maybe use or abuse take things for granted lie cheat steal rape pillage that sort of thing or possibly play the victim role when life gets over whelming.

yes!

when you don't do "self-service" it ends up coming out of you in aggression, depression, alcoholism, pain and mental disorders.

i totally agree with you conundrum.

[transiten]

"you expect for me to love you when you hate yourself my friend"

crosby stills nash and young

we could try but it's hard to do in 3d

transiten