Poisoness Thoughtforms

[Micksky@...]

in a message dated 6/23/2006 7:45:05 p.m. eastern standard time,
jblouir@... writes:

hi jeremy i would advise you to take shelter in the all-loving all-that-is,
of which you are an extension. there is nothing more powerful than that, and
it is totally reliable, and will shelter you from all harm.""yea though i walk
through the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evil.....

you may continue to experience some of your old sub-consciously conditioned
fears, but trust in absolute faith that you are well and free and you will
shortly find that you are, and even better for the experience you have gone
thru

and as for fasting, i'd be glad to coach you. i have enjoyed that discipline
for many years and once did 30 days.

love and light

michael




.








[non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[jblouir20]

jeremy: i am having difficulty... i wouldn't normally ask for
information on this topic but i really don't know where else to
turn. i have seen a few posts before on things like "poisoness
thoughtforms" and talk about how fasting can remove these things,
you also said earlier how a psychopath has no conscience.

i am going to "try" to make this as short as possible. =). one day
i was watching "most haunted" with my mother on the couch next to
me, i said out loud blatently "i don't believe in any of that crap,
if there are any entities out there, bring it on!" my mother
immediately said something like "jeremy! don't ever say anything
like that!". basically i was verbally challenging spiritual
entities because at the time i didnt believe that any of that stuff
was real.

that night, i went to bed, i was lying awake, and out of no where i
felt the pure essence of black dark fear come over me, like a void,
i was so scared that this feeling was going to cause me to become
violent. i ran to my parents bedroom, woke them up, and explained,
we went downstairs and i began to shake violently, i couldnt control
myself, the shaking wouldnt stop. we all slept downstairs that
night.

for about around half a year, i became a hypocondriac, i had
uncontrolable thoughts, alot violent, i was depressive, mood swings,
i was stricken with what seemed to be so many mental disorders that
i eventually went to a psychiatrist. they had no idea what it was,
because i seemed so completely sane when i talked about the
situation because i was completely aware of everything that was
going on i couldnt be crazy, like they say "a crazy man doesnt know
he is crazy". they shoved me on anti-depressents, took several
scans of my brain and concluded there was nothing wrong with me,
they didnt know what it was. so i stopped going, i stopped taking
the medication, and one day i picked up meditation, i did some sort
of practise for removing things in the akashic record i found on the
internet, and lots of other stuff that i had hoped that would help.

now here i am, and you would never have known by talking to me what
i had been through, and as dark and horrible as it was, it took me
on an amazing spiritual journey but i am still left with a problem.

i some how believe something truly effected me that day and whatever
it was is still with me(as in a some sort of negative spiritual
leech floating about in my spiritual conscience), this could very
well be my own mind trying to pin a scape goat and not truly
excepting what is going on in my own sub-concious, but still here is
what is happening.

there seems to be something sitting in the back of my mind to this
day that is constantly there that seems to sap my awareness at
times, that constantly seems to drop morbid thoughts in my mind that
i immediately think, oh my god, what on earth is going on in my
mind? it doesnt happen as often now a days but sometimes i would
seem to switch awareness levels, from normal happy days to, mind
cloaked in fear, even though there is nothing to be afraid of, its
just the pure essence of it, or feels like it.

i never would ever imagine doing anything to harm any human being, i
love my family, friends, relatives, i have compassion for the
starving children in poor countries, and cry when i see disabled
people, i mean i am the total opposite of violent, but my head seems
to lack morals for thought(as if sometimes i have no conscience).
in the end i fear that this thing will get the best of me, and my
mind will be overcome with this junk that is constantly fed in to my
head.

i feel that i need to fast, but as a smoker i am told that fasting
isnt a good idea unless you have stopped smoking for a good while.
can anyone offer information on safe fasting technique? or better
yet information on removing poisoness thought forms?

i guess that wasnt so short, lol =). i have one last thing to add,
not long ago i met someone at work that i really connected with, and
one day we were sitting around talking about your usual stuff and
she came out with something about she has been having trouble with
having morbid thoughts for several years. she had absolutely no
idea why she had told me, she felt that i could be trusted, boy was
she surprised when i turned around and said "your joking, i have the
same problem.". this gets even better, we continued to talk and she
had experienced everything i had, exactly the same, an indenticle
problem. the doctors told her she was having problem with something
called "intrusive thoughts", thoughts that your brain had no control
over, they just happen. this is the best bit, we sat and talked
about when it happend to us, and it happend the same year and the
same day(virtually, mine was the night before hers happend)!
whatever hit me, hit her, she said she broke down in to tears
because she had no idea what was going on.

i am hoping by posting this that i might peek someones attention
that may have insight into this situation(and i post it here because
this is one of those questions that "only a spiritual person, not a
doctor, may be able to answer"), as i really have no idea what else
to do, i do everything within my power everday but i cant seem to
rid myself of it, even with meditation.

thanks ahead of time! i know its a bit of a morbid story but hey
its my life, and it certainly doesnt scare me... most of the time
=p. hehe. =)

l/l
jeremy

[darrylthornebarnes]

jeremy,

> jeremy: i am having difficulty... i wouldn't normally ask for
> information on this topic but i really don't know where else to
> turn. i have seen a few posts before on things like "poisoness
> thoughtforms" and talk about how fasting can remove these things,
> you also said earlier how a psychopath has no conscience.

that's an amazing story. you must be a very talented
intuitive....and what a double edged sword that can be.

do these thoughts intrude when you are not doing anything? when
your mind is not engaged? if not, when? daytime? nighttime?
focused? unfocused?

i can identify with your experience but not nearly to that degree.
with the meditation focus on being present versus spacing out.
focus during the day on being mindful when you're not being present
(thinking about the past (like thinking about this experience) or
drifting off into the future.

find things that ground you. physical activity, taking with your
mother, or whatever. i'll bet you don't lift weights. give that a
try when these thoughts start popping up. visualize a rope
connecting your spine to the earth's core.

trust in that which brought you and this girl together.

study psychic protection. when you feel fear of this "thing" try
sending it love and see you feel afterward. if the fear grips you
anyway, then smile in the face of it. whatever this is probably
feeds on fear.

stop smoking.

try fasting. start slow and stay with it. skip dinner tonight.
how do you feel in the morning with regard to these thoughts? read
the cayce "apple diet" but add going to a hydrotherapist on the
third day.

i hope at least one of these ideas helps. sorry i couldn't be more
help. i will send a prayer your way for good measure. if you gain
any insights later about this experience, then please inform the
group...or at least me.

regards, darryl

[jblouir20]

jeremy: thank you both, micksky and darryl.

darryl: do these thoughts intrude when you are not doing anything?
when
your mind is not engaged? if not, when? daytime? nighttime?
focused? unfocused?

jeremy: i would have to say it happens when my mind isnt engaged.
i do alot of thinking, when i am contemplating information, if it be
philosophical or spiritual, it never seems to occur. it seems to
happen mostly at nighttime during unfocused periods. if i look at
the stars at night it really brings me to focus and it seems to
block it out fairly well, i always sleep with my window open at
night. also if any attempt to project any positive energy is made,
it feels somewhat impossible, as the energy tends to feel very
negative so i cease immediately.

darryl: find things that ground you.

jeremy: this is something i have been trying to work on, by
practising certain techniques for grounding alot of problems clear
up instantly. i have been using a certain color meditation where
you focus on red light at the base of your spine going down in to
the earth, its meant to ground you. it never seems to stick though,
i will try and find something that can ground me, although i love
looking at the sky and the sun(not directly =)), that seems to help
alot.

darryl: study psychic protection. when you feel fear of
this "thing" try
sending it love and see you feel afterward. if the fear grips you
anyway, then smile in the face of it. whatever this is probably
feeds on fear.

jeremy: this is also something i have tried and seemed to be
effective, but i think i gave up on it because it always comes back.

this is very refreshing hearing all these great ideas! thank you
both micksky and darryl, it is very much appreciated. i am going to
take all this in fora few days and see how it all works out, i would
love to learn how to fast, i think it can be very healthy if done
properly.

one thing i forgot to add which i think is pretty unique to this
situation, the girl i met had the same experience, during the time
that i was almost completely dominated by this thing, i felt like i
was on drugs, like i had poison seeping into my brain 24/7, its not
as bad now but i can still sense it a bit.

l/l! =)

jeremy

[j_stubler]

that is one very amazing story. the only thing i can think of to tell
you is that i once read a very wise saying ---- "when you need to
remember it most --- remember that love and fear can not exist in the
same space." it sounds like you are being oppressed in some fashion
by fear, either coming from yourself or from some external source. it
is also possible that you are wrestling with your "dark side". it
seems to have you on the run so to speak. i once read somewhere in
one of david wilcock's works that if you stop to face your fear, and
greet it with with pure intentional love --- the fear will dissipate.

peace & light & love coming your way!

joe

[darrylthornebarnes]

jeremy,

> jeremy: i would have to say it happens when my mind isnt
engaged.
> i do alot of thinking, when i am contemplating information, if it
be
> philosophical or spiritual, it never seems to occur. it seems to
> happen mostly at nighttime during unfocused periods.

yep, sounds just like what i was experiencing. i got over it but it
lasted for a little over a year for me.

a little more advice...if you are taking any kind of street drug or
herbal remedies, then stop them right away. this may not be
completely a spiritual issue although part of it clearly is.

really give the diet cleansing/fasting a serious go. when you do
fast clear your schedule after the first day and make time to
meditate. this tackles both any diet issues and the spiritual...so
very efficient.

at night when you feel these thoughts and sensations coming on get
up and do something. activate the mind somehow. talking with
someone is good. a hug from a loved one will help a lot. being
alone in the dark....not good when this is going on.

you'll get past this. have faith.

regards, darryl

[Strider]

jblouir20 <jblouir@...> wrote:there seems to be something sitting in the
back of my mind to this
day that is constantly there that seems to sap my awareness at times, that
constantly seems to drop morbid thoughts in my mind that i immediately think, oh
my god, what on earth is going on in my mind?


jeremy,

here are a few thoughts from the ra materials that might be relevant to the
situation you've described. my take on this is a little different than you may
have heard from other sources. so, use what resonates, and throw the rest in the
trash. ok?

ra: some live the light. some love the darkness. it is a matter of the unique
and infinitely various creator choosing and playing among its experiences as a
child upon a picnic. some enjoy the picnic and find the sun beautiful, the food
delicious, the games refreshing, and glow with the joy of creation. some find
the night delicious, their picnic being pain, difficulty, suffering of others,
and the examination of the perversities of nature. these enjoy a different
picnic. all these experiences are available. it is the free will of each entity
which chooses the form of play, the form of pleasure. book 1, session 19.

ra: in this distortion of the law of one [free will] it is recognized that the
creator will know itself. book 2, session 27.

so, jeremy, the purpose of your existence on the physical plane is to
experience; and, to gain knowledge of your self from those experiences. the
creator god you are created everything within the manifest creation in order to
know itself. as ra states, "all experiences are available." in other words,
nothing is off limits. there is no "right" or "wrong." there is no "should" or
"should not." there is no "good" and no "bad." think about it. how could
anything be "bad" or "wrong" if everything that is is god/one self/your self.
the words "good", "bad", "right", "wrong", "should", "should not", and "morbid"
are terms of judgment. they were created by those entities who want to control
your behavior to achieve their ends. such entities use these judgmental concepts
to coerce you to "toe the line" and be a productive worker/mindless
consumer/law-abiding taxpayer/humble sinner. some, such as street gangs, might
judge kindness and gentleness as "wrong" or "morbid" thoughts. the
god you are is bound by none of these human concepts. it's only purpose is to
know itself ... to joyfully explore it's infinite potential ... which has no
limits or bounds.

now, if i understand this correctly, all thoughts arise from the god you are.
they arise to point your mind toward something you need to know, and experience,
in order to more fully know your self. unfortunately, we all have been
thoroughly trained -- by parents, schools, governments, religions, peers, social
traditions, etc.-- to judge some of our thoughts to be "bad" or "morbid." most
of us, when such thoughts arise, automatically try to deny or repress them.
that's what we've been brainwashed into doing. as you said, we "immediately
think, oh my god, what on earth is going on in my mind?" but, think about it for
a minute. it is god "going on in your mind." god is all that is. what else could
it be "going on in your mind." you are god. those "morbid" thoughts arise within
your mind for a reason. they are pointing out something you still need to
experience in your life in order to learn something important about the god you
are. they may be pointing to an area of your
life where you need to exercise your power to choose (sts or sto). they will
not be denied. they will just keep coming back, in one form or another, until
you accept them, and learn the lessons they came to teach you.

so, first recommendation: do not judge or repress any of your thoughts. just
accept every thought that comes into your mind. just allow them to come. they
all come from the god you are. there is no such thing as a "morbid" thought ...
unless you choose to label it "morbid" and make it so.

ra: the proper role of the entity is in this density to experience all
things desired, to then analyze, understand, and accept these experiences,
distilling from the the love/light with them. * we have found it to be
inappropriate in the extreme to encourage the overcoming of any desires, except
to suggest the imagination rather than the carrying out in the physical plane,
as you call it, of those desires not consonant with the law of one ..." book 1,
session 18.

in other words, once we have accepted and contemplated the thoughts (or
desires) that come into our minds, we then have a choice about how to respond to
them. we can act upon them in the "real world." or, we can act upon them in our
imagination. let's assume, for example, that a "morbid" thought has come into
your mind that you would like to learn what it feels like to blow a bunch of
people away with a shotgun. you have, at that point, two choices: actually do
it, or do it in your imagination (or on your xbox). either choice is valid. both
will give you an opportunity to experience the act of blowing people away with a
shotgun; and, to learn what doing such a "horrible" thing feels like. once you
have done it just once, you now "own the feeling" and do not have to do it
again, unless you choose to do so. the "morbid" thought has served it's purpose;
and, you have learned something about yourself ... perhaps that you really enjoy
blowing people away with a shotgun! even
that, is knowledge worth owning if you have chosen the sts path. as ra said,
"some find the night delicious ... all these experiences are available." god is
as much within the psycho killer as within the compassionate saint ... and
learns about itself from both. if we judge either as "good" or "bad", we are
still trapped within the dream of social consciousness.

i would suspect, jeremy, that you would recognize that actually doing such
things would not be consonant with the law of one. the law of one, deeply
understood, means that anything you do to anyone else you literally do to your
self. there is only one self. however, the fact that you seem to fear acting out
your "morbid" thoughts, tells me that you need to bring them out in the open,
and play with them in your imagination until they no longer serve any purpose in
your learning. trying to deny or repress them will just make them stronger and
more insistent. remember, they are your thoughts, and only have the power that
you give them. dealing with them actually is quite simple: allow them to come
into your mind when they will. examine them with your imagination. choose how
you will act. and, when they no longer produce any strong feelings (meaning you
have learned from them what you desired to learn), just let them blow on by into
the void. eventually, they will stop coming
... and something new will come to take their place.

that, at least, has been my experience. would like to hear what the rest of
you think.

love/light
strider






---------------------------------
talk is cheap. use yahoo! messenger to make pc-to-phone calls. great rates
starting at 1&cent;/min.

[non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[jblouir20]

darryl: a little more advice...if you are taking any kind of street
drug or
herbal remedies, then stop them right away. this may not be
completely a spiritual issue although part of it clearly is.

jeremy: i don't touch any drugs, the only thing i do is smoke, i
wont even take pain killers, i feel clinical drugs are mostly un-
natural.

i know and understand that this could all be me and my own mind, my
sub-concious, or what have you. but there are some things that
happend previous to the whole incident, dreams, such strong
warnings, i didn't understand them until everything blew up in my
face. i hope you guys don't mind me sharing these, some of them are
a bit frightening. these all happend within a year before the night.

the first dream, i was in my house with my mother, and suddenly the
windows turned blood red, like the skys themselves outside had
changed color. there was a drum beat, followed by the hiss of a
snake, and again and again(boom, hiss, boom, hiss), something was
getting closer, and we knew whatever it was was meant to destroy the
world. we both ran upstairs into seperate rooms, and it came to my
door, the door opened slightly, and i jumped out of my bed, the same
exact bed i was dreaming i was just in.

the second most memorable dream was me, in a university somewhere,
holding the hands of a girl, we loved each other, i knew her name,
but i had no idea who she was, she looked at me and said very
clearly "don't forget that this is real.", then it faded, and i was
in the same university and she was no where to be found, then it
faded again, and i was in a dark alleyway, my belongings tossed on
the ground, an old lady poked her head out the window and
said "don't forget to comb your hair!", and when i looked around i
saw dark entities crawling the alley coming for me, and at the end
of the dark alley was a light, there was a fight coming my way with
hope at the end.

the 3rd happend after the night, i was in my living room, with
thousands of clocks lined up everywhere against the walls, my mother
was on her computer in the corner, a dark corner, saying something,
it was horrible, i don't remember what she said, mentally i think i
have blocked it out, but she came up to me, and kissed me, "i was
like aggh! what the hell!" and when i opened my eyes, a demon was
staring back at me cackling, playing with my mind.

there are also alot of repeated dreams about the end of the world,
the moon crashing in to the earth, and a ghostly girl who is pure
evil that haunts my dreams, always trying to take control of me,
trying to enter my heart.

this is just the usual stuff for me. my dreams are very tame
compared to what they used to be, mostly i dream about my teeth
falling out =p.

i will attempt a fast tomorrow, i have a week holiday so now is
better than ever, ill give up smoking for the day as well. thanks
for everyones input. =)

i see a great future for everyone on this planet, i can't possibly
imagine anything ever bad happening, i wish everyone the best of
luck for the future. =)

l/l

jeremy

[jeffreykiksit]

--- in asc2k@yahoogroups.com, "jblouir20" <jblouir@...> wrote:
when i looked around i
> saw dark entities crawling the alley coming for me, and at the end
> of the dark alley was a light, there was a fight coming my way with
> hope at the end.
________________________
was that a typo or did you really mean "fight"? it could werk either way. you
sound pretty
hard core, i guess youd have to be with dreams like that. i really believe
smoking or
anything else like alcohol can certainly weeken your "whatever" and allow
yourself to be
manipulated by drake entities. wo, typo, i meant dark.

[darrylthornebarnes]

jeremy,

> i know and understand that this could all be me and my own mind,
my
> sub-concious, or what have you.

i'm glad you are open to the idea of this being from within. like i
said i went through a similar period a couple of years ago. this
feeling of "pure essence of black dark fear" coming over you during
periods of stillness...especially at night when there were no
distractions.

i believe that in my case it was purely from within myself. and
that what was actually happening was that i was subconsciously
integrating what had been a repressed or separate part of myself. i
feel somehow more integrated now. not really stronger or more in
control, just more "together".

in my case the whole thing was intensified by an herbal supplement
that i was taking and was reacting badly to. even when that was out
of my system, it still went on to a lesser degree for quite some
time. this is why i brought the drugs/herbs thing up to you.

personally, i wouldn't worry about these old nightmares and focus on
moving forward. you seem to be on the right track.

it is likely that what you are experiencing is in fact "ascension"
work. nobody said it would be easy. ; )

> mostly i dream about my teeth falling out =p.

yeh, what's up with that dream. i've had that one for years as
well. anybody else know???

> i will attempt a fast tomorrow, i have a week holiday so now is
> better than ever, ill give up smoking for the day as well. thanks
> for everyones input. =)

fasting and stopping smoking at the same time might be too much
especially if you've never fasted before. i'm doubt that stopping
for a day does any good anyway. you either stop or you don't. so,
you might try a more serial approach. good luck.

regards, darryl