Re: STO loving family but not others
the very first step is learning to love yourself. only then is it possible
to truly love others. until we come to the point where we accept ourselves,
warts and all, we will always be on the defensive against those we percieve are
finding fault with us. perception is tricky.
we notice reactions in others by their facial expressions, body language,
words, and tones. what we don't know is the whole story of why they are
to us in that manner. maybe we will never know. and the wondering will drive
us bonkers until and unless we feel ok with ourselves no matter what.
no matter what is at the root of the problem, treating others with kindness
and compassion is never the wrong choice. it doesn't mean that we are a
doormat, it just means that we recognize our own imperfections so that we don't
magnify what we perceive in others.
until we come to a place of honoring our journey for all of its pitfalls and
pratfalls, joys and concerns, lessons and letdowns, we will always be tossed
about by the emotions of others. it is not service to self and paradoxically
it is. yet until we attend to our own healing we will not be effective healers
in the world. we cannot be compassionate with anyone else if we are not
compassionate with ourselves first.
there is nothing in our lives that occurred by accident or for no reason.
there is no place that we lived that didn't include a lesson to be learned.
there are no circumstances that we endured that didn't leave a mark in some way
and have played a part in molding us into the people we are today.
it is often easier to love family because we have less to hide. it has been
proven over time that even though they know us, they love us anyway. it is
much more difficult to find in the world of people that we don't yet know.
still, a person is only a stranger until we get to know them; until we extend a
lovingkind comment or gesture.
once lovingkindness is shared a connection is made that will always be
remembered with a smile if not a laugh. we have total recall, with feelings
attached to each lovingkind connection we ever made if we take the time to think
about them. even if our gesture is not returned in kind, it is never a negative
thing if we did it without expectation of results or repayment for our effort.
i read something today that i feel applies: the most important vitamin to
take in order to have friends is b1. until we extend the hand of friendship or
open our heart to the possiblilty, which we can truly only do if we honor
ourselves, we will continue to see the world as a cold and lonely place.
love and blessings,
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