STO loving family but not others

[madonnafra]

the very first step is learning to love yourself. only then is it possible
to truly love others. until we come to the point where we accept ourselves,
warts and all, we will always be on the defensive against those we percieve are
finding fault with us. perception is tricky.

we notice reactions in others by their facial expressions, body language,
words, and tones. what we don't know is the whole story of why they are
reacting
to us in that manner. maybe we will never know. and the wondering will drive
us bonkers until and unless we feel ok with ourselves no matter what.

no matter what is at the root of the problem, treating others with kindness
and compassion is never the wrong choice. it doesn't mean that we are a
doormat, it just means that we recognize our own imperfections so that we don't
magnify what we perceive in others.

until we come to a place of honoring our journey for all of its pitfalls and
pratfalls, joys and concerns, lessons and letdowns, we will always be tossed
about by the emotions of others. it is not service to self and paradoxically
it is. yet until we attend to our own healing we will not be effective healers
in the world. we cannot be compassionate with anyone else if we are not
compassionate with ourselves first.

there is nothing in our lives that occurred by accident or for no reason.
there is no place that we lived that didn't include a lesson to be learned.
there are no circumstances that we endured that didn't leave a mark in some way
and have played a part in molding us into the people we are today.

it is often easier to love family because we have less to hide. it has been
proven over time that even though they know us, they love us anyway. it is
much more difficult to find in the world of people that we don't yet know.
still, a person is only a stranger until we get to know them; until we extend a
lovingkind comment or gesture.

once lovingkindness is shared a connection is made that will always be
remembered with a smile if not a laugh. we have total recall, with feelings
attached to each lovingkind connection we ever made if we take the time to think
about them. even if our gesture is not returned in kind, it is never a negative
thing if we did it without expectation of results or repayment for our effort.

i read something today that i feel applies: the most important vitamin to
take in order to have friends is b1. until we extend the hand of friendship or
open our heart to the possiblilty, which we can truly only do if we honor
ourselves, we will continue to see the world as a cold and lonely place.

love and blessings,
gayle
gs5555
texas wind


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[lealdragon]

for harvest to 4d positive, it is necessary to be 51% sto. what if a
person who formerly was very self-centered, has consciously chosen
to learn love, and is now extremely sto to family and loved ones,
but still rather uncaring towards everyone else? is it enough to be
selectively sto, or must it be towards all others?

i know that it is an important step to learn to love family first,
then from there learn to love non-family. it could be argued that
family is but an extension of self, and it could also be argued that
to love family is a sto accomplishment, since many people are yet
unable to be loving and devoted even to family.

i don't remember a distinction being made in the books about
harvestibility.

[NEIL HADDON]

gayle (texas wind) wrote:
"it is not service to self and paradoxically
it is."

we have been hung up several times on this issue: 'learning to love yourself is
the greatest love of all'; yet is this service to self?

if we look at ra's (and q'uo's)other terminology - i.e. 'positive' and
'negative' paths, i believe we have a better grasp of the concept.

both ra and q'uo stress that we must know ourselves first and foremost, we
should daily meditate/go within to contact ourselves and our higher selves. but
this is *positive* work. this is ultimately for the benefit - love - of all -
and one.
the other path is for those who seek to manipulate, use, take advantage of all
others. it is self-seeking arrogance and disdain for all others.

they deserve our love/light of course - perhaps more than sto - especially
because most of them are misguided and led astray - see sunday meditations 6th
march. and they serve the creator with experience ( and catalyst for us?).

love.
neil

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[madonnafra]

yes neil,
what you have shared with us is the truth of it. creator spoke to me this
morning to further expand my understanding of it. the truth of the matter is
that the lightworkers have been following the golden rule all along and didn't
even know it. the one that tells us to love one another as we love ourselves.

few of us truly honor our walk, our roots, our very beingness. we identify
ourselves too often with our body shells and compare ourselves with others only
to come up short in our own estimation. our outer appearance doesn't measure up
with the images that we are bombarded with on a daily basis of what beauty or
handsomeness is. looking in the mirror influences us to see our imperfections
instead of rejoicing in our uniqueness.

my two youngest daughters were laughing at me the other night as we sat around
the table together at a restaurant to celebrate their dad's birthday. they told
me that when they had observed me over the years looking in the mirror applying
my makeup they found it amusing that i scowl and make very stern faces at
myself. they made fun of their older sister who has certain expressions when
looking in a mirror that are almost a trademark. i had been reminded last year
about this fact. i know that the image that i see in the mirror is not what
others see about me. i don't smile when i look in the mirror so i don't quite
get it when people tell me what a wonderful smile i have. i am very critical of
my appearance and always have been. i'm working on it. we are all works in
progress.

our social status, our bank account balance, our credit report, our style of
dress, the cars we drive, our educational degrees, our worldly accomplishments
don't support us in feeling good about ourselves. it is only through our
connection with creator that we will have the peace in knowing that we are a
unique and beautiful work of art.

we have always loved others as we love ourselves. we just haven't loved
ourselves very much. as i said yesterday, creator told me that ego is our hurt
child. often we think of ego as being puffed up but the reality is that our ego
is that part of us that stays on the defensive or is offensive to others. just
in case someone is out to get us or put us down our ego stands watch to defend
an honor that we don't truly even feel about ourselves. its all false bravado
and separates us from all of our fellow pathwalkers who don't feel very good
about themselves either. that is where compassion comes into the picture.

if we can recognize that when a person is showing off or acting out they are
trying to convince themselves that they are better than they feel they are. we
can empathize with them and their inner sadness. as kind as we would be to a
child who we find hurt or abandoned, we can be with one another at all ages and
stages. by reaching out to a fellow hu-man becoming in a lovingkind manner we
can inspire them to honor the spirit that we recognize in them. for we all hold
a spark of creator within us and we all have the potential to do amazing works
if we understand that we have the ability.

let us look for that spark in everyone that we encounter. let us take the time
to say something uplifting to those that cross our path and most of all listen
to those who say lovingkind words to us and own them for the gift that they are.
for they see our divine spark even when we don't recognize it for ourselves. we
are all here for a special purpose with unique and wondrous gifts to bring to
the party. by presenting our gifts we are gifted in return in ways that go
beyond anything we can imagine.

love and blessings,
gayle
gs5555
texas wind






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