Am I The Only One Having A Really Rough Time?

[ChristianCosmos]

I'm just a very angry, ineffectual, testy 31 year old man who's so sick of being in debt and sick of the whole system

Remember Luke 6:20 - Blessed are the poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.
The very same kingdom that the awakened are awaiting for. You and me both. You aren't the only one going through personal tribulations of emotional and financial battles.
They say that prayer is speaking to God and meditation is listening to Him. So try both to expand your horizons.
Patience is a virtue, and sometimes things can seem very grim. But lucky God isn't in our heads, where doubt and despair can rest. God is perfect and His kingdom also. It'll come. Regardless of how we feel.

[gary58]

Try this simple prayer "I am human becoming help me become

[Allan Birdsong]

I appreciate everyone chiming in with concern, affirmations and advice. I'm glad some of us can be honest and forthcoming about discussing our dark nights of the soul. I believe it's a natural process and shouldn't be repressed.

Needless to say, I was a bit crestfallen to still be stuck on a planet rife with exploitation, war and financial slavery at the end of Dec. 21st. It was a bummer of a birthday, but not unexpected. Creating art and utilizing my imagination has proven time and again to the most important thing I can do to heal psychic wounds and make sense of a broken reality, as well as communicate with the Source. It is my form of meditation.

I'm doing better. Moved to Austin, TX, lost a job and have been actively searching for a gig with substance (which has proven tough). Believe me when I say, I have a strong work ethic. I've worked my whole life so this down time has been weird and scary. I'm still, in an outer sense, completely oppressed by finances, which can be a source of frustration and anger. But I choose to not remain stupefied. I am staying active in my own way, even if it seems bohemian and ineffective from an outsider's perspective. I carry hope in my heart for a better world and do my bit every day to see it happen.

If y'all are bored and wanna hear some of my latest work: http://ozdavidson.bandcamp.com/ patronage from friends and kindred spirits has kept me afloat this month. Thanks guys.

[Rachael5922]

I just went back to school at the University after finishing an A.D. at the Technical college. Last summer I was working at Subway and doing a math course. This semester I started a new job at a Bank and did a math course. I am struggling so much I am failing the class. I haven't been able to multi task and send energy the way I want to as I usually do. I could attribute this horrible semester to Mercury retrograde, but I have dealt with them before so that didn't make sense. I also have been having really bad headache's behind my eyes lately. I don't drink tap water at home, I drink only bottled or distilled water. I can't figure out why now all of a sudden everything I want to reach for goals is being obliterated. I am really sad about my grade and I study hard, but it just seems like my brain refuses to retain the information. I don't understand why this is happening. I am hoping to find an answer so I came here. Maybe something big is being downloaded into some of us so trying to navigate physical earth is becoming more difficult. I just want to pass at this point so I can take my final course and receive my A.D. from the University. I totally plan on taking a break from school until I can sort through what is happening to me.

[Psion 3-K]

Recently I have been having a difficult time dealing with what I would call an energetic anomaly, for lack of a better way of putting it...

After reading David's material and following his blog for awhile, I began to put my faith in the idea that meditation can help raise the awareness of the Earth and effect real changes upon our society. So for the past 4 years since I got serious about ascension, I have been regularly meditating with the intention to clear negative thought forms from our field of consciousness. There have been few days in these past 4 years in which I have not done "raising meditation" for at least 30 minutes, and on most days I'd spend closer to around an hour and a half to two hours doing this. My focus has always been the same; release any and all negative energy with light and love and remain compassionate towards those that are mired in the darkness.

However, in the past several months I have noticed something rather strange. When I access my energy centers (in this case usually the 3rd eye) to bring forth lighted energy, I normally perceive a kind of radial sense of them. If I look straight up and focus on light, I see the sublime, ultimate reality I am trying to manifest for the entire Earth. Recently, though, if I focus on my third eye and then tilt my perception to the left, I sense this surge of negativity. It makes me desire senseless, angry things that have no rhyme or reason.

To be clear, I can be angry randomly and for no reason (I mean this in a sense that I can conjure the energy of anger without an egoic focus). Anyone can, in fact, and I'll explain in a moment why that's important. But this type of anger, however, is different. I don't actually have to conjure a real thought to feel this anger, I merely have to draw upon my 3rd eye from a certain angle to get it. To get a clearer sense of this thing, I tried to better understand how my anger feels versus this weird energetic anomaly emanating forth from my 3rd eye. When I did this, I began to feel a lack of discernment for my own intentions, as if for some reason I have now chosen to ruin my personal happiness randomly and for no reason. It's the strangest thing I've ever experienced...

I think its important to mention that when I do energy work, many times if I attempt to beam light into the FOC, I will get an equal and opposite reaction from somewhere. This comes in the form of a sudden, physical convulsion that if I do not block correctly develops into a feeling of some negative emotion. When I was younger, I would feel these bolts of energy hit me all the time and they were ruining my life. Later on I put my faith in psychic shielding and that changed my life massively for the better. But after a time, I desired more than just a shield and picked up a sword, so to speak, and that sword was maharishi style meditation that is founded mainly in the practicing of various forms of martial tai-chi. My feeling was that I wanted to help the world evolve in any way possible, so I resorted to this from a realm of faith and knowing that I would be changing the Earth for the better.

Does anyone here have any concept of what may be happening here or have anything relevant to relate about this? I know that negative entities can and do at times attach to people's chakras and they can make you feel any number of strange things. I do not consider myself to be lugging around any significant emotional baggage and sense that the reaction I am getting in my work has to do with the intent of the dark forces to stay firmly in place for as long as they can...

[Natho]

'Through darkness found itself an eternal flame, to wield as such and to know thy name.'

Ive never seen a beetle grasp the light of the bulb, intent as it may be, and although it may fall to exhaustion it finds within itself the urge to try again, never knowing what to expect say for solace. I don't believe it intends to catch the light but I do feel it finds nourishment of sorts, in this way we cannot expect to gorge on the light, it comes in servings - breakfast, lunch, and dinner by candlelight .

I will admit that since several months ago it has been difficult to stay in touch with the inner light (personally) although nothing has truly changed, hence I feel a degree of appropriation such as this breakfast, lunch, dinner analogy.

[EcyaC]

I just went back to school at the University after finishing an A.D. at the Technical college. Last summer I was working at Subway and doing a math course. This semester I started a new job at a Bank and did a math course. I am struggling so much I am failing the class. I haven't been able to multi task and send energy the way I want to as I usually do. I could attribute this horrible semester to Mercury retrograde, but I have dealt with them before so that didn't make sense. I also have been having really bad headache's behind my eyes lately. I don't drink tap water at home, I drink only bottled or distilled water. I can't figure out why now all of a sudden everything I want to reach for goals is being obliterated. I am really sad about my grade and I study hard, but it just seems like my brain refuses to retain the information. I don't understand why this is happening. I am hoping to find an answer so I came here. Maybe something big is being downloaded into some of us so trying to navigate physical earth is becoming more difficult. I just want to pass at this point so I can take my final course and receive my A.D. from the University. I totally plan on taking a break from school until I can sort through what is happening to me.

Maybe you need some minerals? If that doesn't do the trick I'd try a change in diet plus more direct sunlight every day plus more exercise.

"Drinking distilled water on a regular basis is potentially dangerous to your health. This may seem like a bold statement, but it is based on a number of clinical studies and the experience of many scientists and health care practitioners...The distillation process does remove many unhealthy contaminants in the water, but it also removes naturally occurring minerals."