Foo,
I know the feeling. I feel that way when it comes to relationships, having been horribly burned, and disappointed more times than I can remember. I'm actually going through that same feeling of, "Am I setting myself up for disappointment?"
On one hand, I know that you want to feel excited, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, that there's some real hope. But at the same time, you've probably been burned either personally or existentially to the point of being crispier than an overdone barbecue, and you've had enough.
I'm struggling internally right now just to keep going mentally, as I'm about out of juice, trying to endure all the crap in my personal life, not to mention keeping an eye on the financial crisis to plan out my moves so that I don't get sucked into tsunami. But by constantly surveying the field and the incoming information, it's hard NOT to get sucked into despair or a feeling that you're being setup.
I'm not even sure I'll make it to December 21st! I keep thinking I'm going to fall sometime between now and then. It's getting really, really hard to keep the emotional being up. And the emotional being takes me down mentally and physically. Like being on the last few volts of your battery, and you're still pushing a boulder to the cliff. Sometimes I just want to break down and scream, yet I know I have to somehow push the boulder over the cliff.
I guess the best thing I can tell you is to take a vacation from all this crap. That's what I'm doing next month. I'm basically burned out right now from all of this. 30 days of nothing but some good books, hanging out with friends, sun, surf, beach, and no more than 1 hour of internet a week. Try fishing. That's my plan anyway.
Here's what we do know. The system itself is toast, you can see that from my analysis. Whether it's by design or fate, we don't know for sure. And we won't really know for at least 2-3 months. That's just the facts. Everything else is just conjecture. In anycase, with about 4 months and 23 days left to go, think of it this way. We don't have that long to wait.
All Da Best!
Da Asian Brutha
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