i am also autistic. i have a high functioning autism leaning towards the aspergers side i believe. i have not been formally diagnosed (other than by my wife) but i always knew something was a little off. how nobody noticed i am autistic is a mystery. or maybe they did know. definitely i am not "normal". i am now 30 years old but shockingly i only found out last year that i am autistic. it totally blew my mind. much like this website does. all i can really think is wtf! how is this all even possible? is this even real? how can this be? all this time i don't know why everything seemed so normal and then all the sudden things are no longer normal in life. huh, who knew?
cameronjcw, i know exactly how you feel because i have struggled in similar ways. i really, really, really hate doing the dishes, which reminds me... i am supposed to be doing them right now. i also absolutely hate if i step on dirt on the floor for some reason. but i have learned to adapt quite well through life. luckily i found a beautiful woman a few years ago on icq, back when it was popular i literally searched for her and found her and kept her, and then we got married last july. she is a child and youth counsellor and she teaches me things all the time about myself and how to deal with all the challenges i face. but now that i have read many of the things on this website she probably thinks i am nuts. and as she might say, who cares what other people think, it simply doesn't matter what they think, it is their own problem, not yours. go sing and dance and be happy and it doesn't matter if you are a "walking disaster". you in fact are not. you are a beautiful creation, a work of art, even if you think you're broken. do not put thoughts like that in your head. what you tell others about yourself actually can affect yourself. there is a name for it but i can't think of it right now. it was first described to me in the book the power of intention by wayne dyer which i would highly recommend you check out. i don't even know you but i know myself and i know some things are not easy but you can only do what you can do. sometimes it may not seem like it but i know for a fact we can do things, and think things other "normal" people cannot. i think we are all normal, and we are all here, right now. what is not normal about that? surround yourself with cheerful things and smile. it doesn't matter if anyone sees you or hears you. if anything they would be jealous that they aren't able to allow themselves to be so happy. or maybe you will put a smile on their face and make them happy too.
to megalithicme, if you haven't tried this, and everyone who is autistic or thinks they might be, and for all i know anyone else might benefit from this in some way, go try the gfcf diet. i must warn that it's hard and can cost extra money, but it totally works. it is probably the closest thing to a cure for autism. i have been on that diet ever since i found out and people say i have become more social and happy, i can think better, things are clearer. in other cases it has an even more dramatic effect on people. it is a gluten-free, dairy-free diet. specifically all gluten protein and casein protein must be cut. also, i don't eat any red meats if i can help it. no processed sugars, no preservatives, no carmel colour, and even cutting out apples and corn can be tested as some people say that helps. there are probably other suggestions out there as well. there are plenty of websites which explain this type of diet in detail. i recommend reading many, not just one. the diet takes some getting used to but it is definitely worth it.
now if i accidentally eat something with gluten or casein protein in them my face kind of feels like it goes a little numbish, and then i may get a little wild. then later i think i may get some sort of withdrawal symptoms and get a bit angry or something. it seems to take a couple days until i start to feel right again.
to be continued...