The four main control dramas

[FooSnik]

foosnik


i am not contradicting you here....

i mean that sometimes even "telling how you feel" can be an addiction even if i think most of the time it is the best thing to do. and actually i am contradicting myself here since very often i do not dare to say how i feel for fear of punishment.

that said it sometimes requires shadowdigging to be honest to onerself and admitting how you feel, since our true feelings like sorrow, shame and depression are often supressed, like if you feel hurt you cannot admit it and it comes out in a perverted way as despise wrath and agression.

keep on digging the fertile black soil of yur shadow

transiten

it is only an "addiction" when you are saying stuff to get the high from the reaction out of people. it is productive when you say real stuff and learn from the reactions. big difference.

i think by saying how we feel and learn from the feedback we all continue to move to the all seeing eye that i got tattooed on my arm when i was 16 and didn't even know what it was.

the pinnacle of liberation.

the point of convergence when we all understand our separate points of view.

let me shut up now.

transiten... i would like to add you to my list of good friends that i have made here if you don't mind. i don't come here for an addiction. i come here for friends. :d

[meganarline]

the love you get is equal to the love you give - i think that is from a song or a famous quote from somewhere.

the end
------the beatles

oh yeah, all right
are you going to be in my dreams
tonight?

and in the end
the love you take
is equal to the love you make.

i'm not sure if that is the song you were thinking of, but there are the lyrics just in case.

[transiten]

it is only an "addiction" when you are saying stuff to get the high from the reaction out of people. it is productive when you say real stuff and learn from the reactions. big difference.

i think by saying how we feel and learn from the feedback we all continue to move to the all seeing eye that i got tattooed on my arm when i was 16 and didn't even know what it was.

the pinnacle of liberation.

the point of convergence when we all understand our separate points of view.

let me shut up now.

transiten... i would like to add you to my list of good friends that i have made here if you don't mind. i don't come here for an addiction. i come here for friends. :d

sure foosnik, add me to your list i'd be honoured!

i actually told a friend of mine in an e-mail exactly how i felt (she wouldn't answer her mobile for over a week after a misunderstanding, hanging up) and we regained contact before she read it....and now we're on speaking terms again. not that she wanted to talk about her own actions or reactions but rome was not built in one day.

i told another friend exactly how i felt and her reaction was very negative. she is almost always late, and that can be up til 1 hour and as i adressed her she would not even admit that there is a problem ...just have to wait and see and watch my own feelings and reactions. what did i do wrong? i told her i don't feel respected and now the telephone is silent. there are layers and layers of feelings here, a lot to learn, to forgive and forget...

i'm still not sure that one should always tell about one's feelings....i have to ponder that for a while

transiten

[FooSnik]

sure foosnik, add me to your list i'd be honoured!

i actually told a friend of mine in an e-mail exactly how i felt (she wouldn't answer her mobile for over a week after a misunderstanding, hanging up) and we regained contact before she read it....and now we're on speaking terms again. not that she wanted to talk about her own actions or reactions but rome was not built in one day.

i told another friend exactly how i felt and her reaction was very negative. she is almost always late, and that can be up til 1 hour and as i adressed her she would not even admit that there is a problem ...just have to wait and see and watch my own feelings and reactions. what did i do wrong? i told her i don't feel respected and now the telephone is silent. there are layers and layers of feelings here, a lot to learn, to forgive and forget...

i'm still not sure that one should always tell about one's feelings....i have to ponder that for a while

transiten

all i can say is don't be afraid of the reactions and don't think, transiten, that you are always right. because maybe your friend might be right.

and maybe you are right. transiten... you are very wise so i am guessing most of the time you have valid points.

my thing is, don't keep it in. because to keep it in is way worse then just to say how you feel and then have it to be wrong. keep it in and progress does not happen. keep it in and anger and confusion happens. just say it!

then pm and we will talk about it and stuff. then talk to me about it and move on.

dust your shoulder off lady!

:d

[FooSnik]

all i can say is don't be afraid of the reactions and don't think, transiten, that you are always right. because maybe your friend might be right.

and maybe you are right. transiten... you are very wise so i am guessing most of the time you have valid points.

my thing is, don't keep it in. because to keep it in is way worse then just to say how you feel and then have it to be wrong. keep it in and progress does not happen. keep it in and anger and confusion happens. just say it!

then pm and we will talk about it and stuff. then talk to me about it and move on.

dust your shoulder off lady!

:d

but let me step back for a second and say that life is a very delicate balance. sometimes you shouldn't say how you feel right away. sometimes you have to pull your punches and choose your battles.

"timing is the mark of a genius." i can't remember where i read that. but i did somewhere. i swear!

[transiten]

foo and the rest of you

welcome to paradox...my favourite "invention"

it's not either or, it's both and..as the saying goes in sweden.

the only thing we know for sure is that nothing is for sure...

transiten

[FooSnik]

foo and the rest of you

welcome to paradox...my favourite "invention"

it's not either or, it's both and..as the saying goes in sweden.

the only thing we know for sure is that nothing is for sure...

transiten

yup

agreed

the paradox is so maddening sometimes.

sometimes i feel like a dog that likes to chase his tail around in circles. i am not gonna lie. i love this whole dramatice crazy world we live in.

:d