After death...

[GrumpyBear]

I'm so thankful I had the chance over the last 5 months or so to know and read this site and forum. I'm sure that without the knowledge I've acquired here, I would be much worse off than I am now.

I just lost my soulmate on Apr 9..he was only 34..and even with all I know and believe, it still just doesn't make any sense. I only had 10 years with him...barely a moment in the cosmic sense. What 'lesson' am i supposed to learn from this? Why would I agree to be subjected to this before I incarnated here? How will I know if he was finished what he came here to learn, moving into 4th, or reincarnating to continue the journey?

The only good that has come from this is that 3 people were given the gift of life through organ donation. That is a wonderful thing, although still little consolation. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

~Never Miss an Opportunity to Say 'I Love You'~

[Chris Hamilton]

What may make sense to you Bear is that your soulmate's decision to die when he wanted to. So, you see, it wasn't done to you but for him. You have learned love from him and sometimes that's all we humans need in our earthly experience I was 30 when my brother died and then a bit later my grandfather died. Both I loved very much. I had a girlfriend way back in high school whose husband was her true soulmate but he developed a brain tumor and died. She was devastated for many years, but she began painting to express her sorrow and now she has a studio full. And, at 62, she got married again. Many things can happen to us in this life, but they are here to give us experiences and let us decide to either help others or only serve ourselves, and it sounds to me like you have learned your lesson of love quite well from him. My sympathies to you Bear, and a big hug. Chris

[FooSnik]

Awww... my heart goes out to you, grumpy.

Try if you can, to hear me when I say that you are blessed. To have that poignant love that seems to add a little more color to the world and broaden your sense of life.

And there is something about losing that love, by no fault of either one of you, that multiplys that love 20 fold. It deepens and expands your capacity and ability to feel, empathize, sympathize, understand and express love. It is a gift that allows you to pull love deeper into your lungs.

Through my research of hypnotherapy I have read many cases of grieving people and there is always a different reason for why the loved one chose to leave this plane. It might not even be a "lesson" for you, per say. It may be just that the person needed to leave for his/her own reasons.

Here is a quote from Einstein. Maybe this is the next step for you:

A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. he experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest ... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. this delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Maybe your next step, Grumpy, is to try and expand that intense love that you have for your significat other, to ALL other people. Because why should your significant other be the only one to get the benefit of it? Share that love Grumpy!

<3

[GrumpyBear]

Thank you all...kind of helps to take the edge off it for the moment. We both learned many lessons from each other, love being the biggest one. Death is a really crappy illusion for the ones left here..

[Vanya]

Thank you all...kind of helps to take the edge off it for the moment. We both learned many lessons from each other, love being the biggest one. Death is a really crappy illusion for the ones left here..

I completely agree. It is a crappy illusion. I know it's a mental comfort knowing you'll meet them again. Not an emotional comfort, and by no means a physical one. Your body will never hold them again. And that sucks. I am so sorry for your loss. I'd say allow yourself to grieve. Take it all out. And if you can, find a good professional to help you out. The more you bottle up, the worse it gets the day you decide to deal with it. Best deal with it at once. And you're allowed to be angry, mad, resentful, alone, empty, tiny, teary and all those horrible feelings that part of you think are kind of taboo and not accepted.

I've been told the worst is when the first period of grief is over, like a year and a half later. You still miss those who have passed on, but people at work and others tend to think you should move on and get on with it. So give yourself the space you need, give your grief the time it needs, and don't care what the others think.

But also, remember that the aim of the grieving process is to arrive at a truce, a peace within you, between your past and your present. A space where you can remember your past with love and a silent gratitude for all that was. Hold on to that goal as you go through it. Guide yourself, like you would guide a child. Allow all the horrible stuff the space it needs, while steering yourself towards smoother waters.

Your beloved departed would want you to let go of them and find a new meaning with your own life. And you owe that to yourself as well.

Biig hugs,
Vanya

[GrumpyBear]

Thank you so much Vanya...you really hit the nail on the head, and I will definitely try to apply your advice.

I couldn't imagine what kind of dark hole I would be in right now had I not found this site and the Law of One. It is still difficult and the roller coaster of emotion is draining, but I feel I'm a bit better equipped to handle it because of the site, the books, and especially the amazing people in this forum.

~hugz~

[David Bourke]

I'm taking the liberty of posting the contents of one of the pages on my website which is relevant to this topic:

Begin copy:

I'm not at all "religious." But I do believe now in a compassionate and just God.

I was always an atheist until my father told me this story. He waited until I was adult enough to understand it, and told it to no one else in my family, not even my mother, because he felt he wouldn't be believed.

It's important to say that he was a practical-minded, down-to-earth man not at all given to flights of fancy. He never told a lie, and many times paid dearly for his uncompromising honesty and integrity.

My father was also an atheist, and never attended church except for weddings and funerals. When he was 43, he suffered the first of many heart attacks. I wrote down what he told me before I went to bed that night so I'd never forget it.

Here's what he said:

"I was lying on a trolley in the emergency room when I felt this massive pain in the middle of my chest, much worse than the one that brought me there. It was absolutely and completely unbearable. All of a sudden I felt myself being sucked out of my body. I looked around and found myself floating up at the ceiling.

"When I looked down, I saw a vaguely familiar figure on a trolley surrounded by frantic nurses and doctors in green outfits. And then I realised it was ME on the trolley. And I knew immediately I'd died after a second heart attack.

"I felt myself being turned around to face the ceiling, except it was no longer there. Instead, there was a tunnel of swirling light, one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and I felt myself being sucked into it.

"At the other end, I stepped out onto a grassy hillside. The light was unbearably beautiful, and the breeze made moving silvery patterns through the long grass. I could hear the rushing sound of a river and the laughter of children coming from over the top of the hill. So I started to walk up.

"And suddenly, I found myself frozen in place and I could go no further. Then I heard the most gentle and kind voice I've ever heard say: 'John, this is what you have done.'

"I found myself somehow both looking at a high-speed replay of my whole life and in it as well, stopping every now and again at points where I had hurt people, through deed, thoughtlessness, or omission.

"Each time this happened, I found myself experiencing all of the pain I'd inflicted on them, exactly as if I WAS them as well as myself. Then we arrived at the day I died, and I could move again. So I started back up the hill once more.

"Then I heard the voice say: 'John, if you go to the top of the hill, you cannot go back. It is your choice. Remember, you have young children who depend on you. And you have more work to do. You must decide. All are welcome here. This is your true home. And it will be waiting for you when you return.'

"I thought long and hard about staying, but since all you brats needed me, I decided to go back. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed in great pain, and then I passed out."

My father died once again in the intensive care ward some years later after having one of the first bypass surgeries ever performed in Ireland. He had the exact same experience on the same hillside but without the life review this time. He sat down on the hillside for what he said was about three hours, bathing in the beautiful light and admiring the view, then stood up and said aloud: "I'll go back." And found himself back in a hospital bed once more.

He didn't become religious after these experiences and start going to church. Although he was always a good and decent man to those he knew, he did begin to go out of his way to be kind and helpful to everyone he met, even complete strangers. I was by his side when he went for the final time and it was so uplifting. He died in great pain with the most wonderful smile on his face I'd ever seen.

He was finally going home after all his suffering.

I share my father’s story with you all so that you can be sure and certain that those who have wronged you in any way, through deed, thoughtlessness, or omission, WILL suffer ALL of the exact same pain they caused you.

And this is why we must love, help, and forgive each other every day of our lives.

If you think my father's experience was an isolated incident, check out these websites:

http://www.near-death.com/
http://www.nderf.org/

End copy.

I've only recently discovered David Wilcock's work and I find it transformative. I read the unfinished online version of Laura Knight-Jadzyck's "The Wave" series many years ago and was astounded at its content. I have many questions which I hope some of you may help me with. I'll post them as soon as I get a chance.

Kind regards.

[GrumpyBear]

Absolutely beautiful and moving, thank you for sharing that! It reaffirmed a lot of what I've always believed