Awww... my heart goes out to you, grumpy.
Try if you can, to hear me when I say that you are blessed. To have that poignant love that seems to add a little more color to the world and broaden your sense of life.
And there is something about losing that love, by no fault of either one of you, that multiplys that love 20 fold. It deepens and expands your capacity and ability to feel, empathize, sympathize, understand and express love. It is a gift that allows you to pull love deeper into your lungs.
Through my research of hypnotherapy I have read many cases of grieving people and there is always a different reason for why the loved one chose to leave this plane. It might not even be a "lesson" for you, per say. It may be just that the person needed to leave for his/her own reasons.
Here is a quote from Einstein. Maybe this is the next step for you:
Maybe your next step, Grumpy, is to try and expand that intense love that you have for your significat other, to ALL other people. Because why should your significant other be the only one to get the benefit of it? Share that love Grumpy!
A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. he experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest ... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. this delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
“Where the light is brightest, the shadows are deepest.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"When you look into the eyes of another, any other, and you see your own soul looking back at you, then you will know that you have reached another level of consciousness." -Brian Weiss