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Thread: Monotone Voice and No Personality

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Delray Beach, Florida
    Posts
    26

    Unhappy Monotone Voice and No Personality

    is anyone often classified as this?

    personally, i don't think it's fair!

    some people have too much personality and are multi-talented in the arts and have so much creativity. i love how most people put a label on these types of people as " indigo children " or whatever. but what about the people who are called otherwise?

    ever since i was a child, i have been shy and quiet. i've been reserved. not too much gets me angry and i never wanted to be the center of attention. i often found it hard to get through school because although i was nice ( and somewhat attractive ), i was classified as a nerd and very easy to ignore since i'm often boring and what not.

    this to me has never been a problem, but lately - a lot of people are calling me monotone, uninteresting and they say my voice sounds the same even when i laugh. i try not to take it too heart, because it is true. but why do they have to be so cruel when they say it?

    a job that i recently got, requires me to be on the phone with customers a lot. i have improved my phone skills greatly and it's something i am proud of to be able to comfortably speak on the phone without any anxiety. i'm very nice to customers and i have the same respect although some people are just mean to be mean. but the people training me, as well as my supervisors often stress to me that i sound nervous, not confident and stressed on the phone. this is the type of job that has " levels " of payment and just because i'm monotone and don't sound confident on the phone, than i'm " not improving " and i won't get a raise.

    it's hard to stress to these people that it's just how i am, and i can't do a total 360 overnight and change, but they aren't hearing it. so, i'm desperately trying to look for another job. my throat is dry and hurts. i'm getting my feelings hurt everyday, and i'm getting stressed for too low of pay. a lot of people have told me not to " let them run me out " or try to " get confidence ", but i'm sick to death of hearing it. i don't know what that means! i can't get confident when i thought i was doing fine to begin with. and i have to leave because if i won't, i'm going to physically get sick (i'm very intuitive and these past weeks already, i have lost a bit of weight because it's just too much for me to absorb all the time).

    i have cried a lot over these last few weeks because it just isn't fair to me. i've always tried to be so nice to people and they just constantly nit pick at how i sound so robotic, or born without a soul or some crap and it's really not easy to digest and i don't know why people insist on hurting me.

    so, has anyone been in this same situation or have any advice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Santa Clara, CA
    Posts
    163

    Default

    well, my advice would be to look for another job ... or a way that makes money that you enjoy doing (i dont like using the word "job" anymore). many are still caught up in the illusion that we live in and do not realize that they are only hurting themselves by the words and actions they project on other selves. all of this could just be a test that you have placed upon yourself without realizing it. for me, i find that there are always lessons to be learned .. even as i prepare to leave a "job" i do not like. i would say, do not let them get to you ... forgiveness seems to be a key. but, i know i still have much to learn. i hope some of my ramblings help out. we are always loved and always will be.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    St-Hubert, Quebec.
    Posts
    39

    Default More control.

    hi marbu13.

    you seem ready to see the film in my signature. . . b-)

    what got me in this kind of "world" or "mentality" and forums is the film:
    " what the bleep!? down the rabbit hole ".

    it's a 3 dvd kit.
    look at those. you could be nicely surprised !

    it got me to david's books, that got me to ra. . .

    ra could be " hard " for a newbee. . . b-) but,
    the film, shows you the world on a nice side. . .

    blue skies.
    Enjoy the marvelous http://www.whatthebleep.com/
    which got me to "The Ra material" and this forum.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    429

    Default Be yourself and speak your truth, your way

    marbu13, from your story, you sound to me as a very powerful loving being that has choose to come and give your love, truely and unconditional. the unawaken souls are taking a toll on your natural kindness and good nature.

    i resignate with you. all people are ulta-sensitive to non-loving words, thoughts and actions, but have built up a wall to keep these non-loving actions out. you seem a little more control of your sensitive nature and have been able to keep the non-loving actions in their place and balanced.

    one area that might be out of balance is your thoat charka. i would like to suggest strengthening your thoat chakra by a few simple suggestions. the thoat is associated with "speaking your truth", the truth that you know from your heart. this does not mean yelling out or anything, but yet knowing your truth, expressing yourself in a nature way that you agree with, but it is also heard. blue is the color of the thoat chakra. visualize blue color in the thoat area to help open and keep it open. also, you can consider wearing jewelry, perhaps lapis around your neck.

    there is a way to express your truth, your feelings in a loving way that works for you, not designed for another. it is of the divine plan to be different, have different approaches, views than another. bless you for being different and you. from your story, you appear very observant and maybe taking on their thoughts more than you know, thus thinking about their way of speaking rather than trusting your way of speaking on these calls.

    i think the change you seek.. is for people to see hear you.. as you., not as another might expect. you are not a robot. marbu13, i think you can grow from this experience and be that person you know you already are.

    continue to believe in yourself, trust and apply your approach while listening to suggestions and just keep working it out., it will come in your time, not another.

    let your unique tone be heard. blessings
    ~ Love ~ R

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    SCV, CA
    Posts
    373

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    in reference to the indigo label comment - i would respond and say its not so much of a label as a descriptive. if we go to far, we would say we are labeling a flower by calling it a flower. its too pc and ridiculous when society says that. its just a term to reference a specific group of people.

    your temperament however, sounds alot like that of a crystal - who are the exact opposite of indigos. indigos have the warrior spirit and therefore are outspoken etc. because they have to fight the old system to bring about the change.

    the purpose of crystals is to restructure the path the indigos clear. they are soft spoken and quiet, and are not quick to temperament. some people would probably say this is monotone.

    they are just one group, and there are many. it seems like we are stepping up from individual solitary to separate groups, as in group ideology. which is the next step closer to higher consciousness because its losing separation on the individual level. we know of indigos, crystals, rainbows, wanderers, and im sure there are more and will be many more.

    we all belong though. no one is left behind and no one is 'picked'. its just natural.

    anyone who says you are too monotone and have no personality, are comparing you to their own ideals of who you should be, rather than loving and respecting you for who you are. with jobs it could be hard, especially in this current climate, but when you can you can let yourself find employment at something you are comfortable doing, that doesnt require having a specific temperament. i used to work at a call center, i know what you mean about being on the phones.

    hang in there - and know you are unique and wonderful and we are all one - much like the unique facets on a crystal together form a remarkable work, and yet each facet is just as important.
    Tainting the world one day at a time since 1977.

    Synchronicity? My initials are CD. Divine Cosmos is DC. Does that mean Im backwards compatible? ROFL

    "...For I believe in something deeper than the physics that we share...and I will strive with all my power, to reach the 8th & final square."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPy9pfE7VGk

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    16

    Default Soft Voice and Hidden Personality

    certainly you need to find another way to make a living.

    fascinating that you've chosen, or that you've been given, a job that involves talking on the phone. everything is a growth, and i think it's wonderful that you "have improved your phone skills" and that you are proud "to be able to comfortably speak on the phone without any anxiety." so hold onto that . . perhaps with that, the purpose of this job is over.

    what do you love ??? maybe you're good with animals, children, old people ??? plants and flowers ??? music ??? do you like to read (edit) manuscripts ??? do you like physical work ???

    some jobs may require some training, but you can get in on the ground floor of anything that interests you, and learn that way.

    maybe you want to be a plumber, or a house painter . . . go for it.

    think about what you want, about what interests you. research, use the internet, and use your creative imagination.
    and make phone calls (because you know that you do talk well and without anxiety on the phone).

    call people who have the job you want and ask them how they did it.

    call businesses (even with no job ad) and just express an interest to work there.
    maybe you want to know what a nursing home would be like (?) or a vets office (?) or a dog pound (?) or a music school (?) or day care (?) or a gym (?) an art school (?) a theatre (?) a publisher (?)

    definitely i was once young, and i began with many awful jobs.
    sometimes it takes time to realize your own growth . . . someday you'll look back at the people hurting you now, and you'll feel sorry for them. they have lousy jobs and alot to learn.

    sending you well wishes for a peaceful heart, a clear mind, and your dream job.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    228

    Cool

    hey, i hear you. been there and i am still there. this could just be a chance to learn something or it's time to move on. i tend to man up to situation as this. there is a lesson in there somewhere either way.

    you sound similiar to me in the way you grew up and things that happened to you and where you currently are. i

    in my experience i just go with the flow. i don't worry about promotions anymore and hope for a more harmonious position as my life unfolds. but that is not where i am and i am okay with that. it will happen when it is suppose to happen. i just prepare for when it does.


    love and light

    paul

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
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    796

    Default

    oh man, i know how you feel. i have had to work with quite a few of these "toxic" people. it makes them feel better about themselves to put you down. they are insecure about themselves and by stealing away your power and security it gives them a sense of power over you.

    i worked with quite a few people like this. i have been working with this one guy for a few months now who likes to try to order me around very rudely. he is my coworker, not my boss, but he tries to talk down to me and tell me to do stuff because he has been there longer than me. and he barks these commands in an obviously rude manner. he is trying to make me agitated and irritated but it drives him crazy when i just smile and laugh it off, unfazed. you see, a few years back i realized that these people feel small and they are trying to cut everyone else down to their size. so when someone acts like that towards me i don't get mad, actually, i feel bad for them. and i just extend them nothing but kindness the way i would treat anyone else. sooner or later they realize that they need to go pick on someone else because it doesn't work with me.

    honestly, there seems to be at least one person like this no matter where you work. so you are going to have to learn to create boundaries of self security. they prey on you because they smell insecurity. your goal should be self security. you need to know and be happy with who you are. this is a huge part of the human experience for all people. we all have to go through this struggle.

    back when i was in my teens/early twenties, my voice still hadn't deepened so i felt insecure because i felt like i had a girly voice. i was too skinny. i was kinda shy. i had all kinds of inferiority complexes. you just gotta fight through it and you will come into your own. don't give up.

    sometimes you get jobs that are just too overwhelmingly negative and isn't worth it. just ditch those jobs and get another. but sometimes you are going to have to fight for it. sometimes you are going to have to fight to change the chemistry of the work place to one in which people treat you with respect.

    this is the process of finding yourself that we all go through. i echo what charles said here:

    Quote Originally Posted by charles View Post
    definitely i was once young, and i began with many awful jobs. sometimes it takes time to realize your own growth . . . someday you'll look back at the people hurting you now, and you'll feel sorry for them. they have lousy jobs and alot to learn.
    hang in there buddy.

    :d
    "When you look into the eyes of another, any other, and you see your own soul looking back at you, then you will know that you have reached another level of consciousness." -Brian Weiss

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
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    one more thing i wanted to add. sometimes these uncomfortable sort of experiences serve a purpose. they simultaneously get you prepared for something ahead but don't let you get too comfortable in the process. now you have improved on your communication skills but life has bigger things in store for you. so by making it uncomfortable it drives you to look for something else which will be the next step on your path.

    i have had quite a few times like this. when i first moved to dc a while back i had a really hard time finding a job. i got three jobs that turned out to be really crappy for different reasons. i started to feel really bad and ask a lot of questions to god like, "why are you doing this to me?" and, "why has my karma turned so sour?" but then i got one of the best jobs i have ever had in which i met two of my best friends i will ever have. and the thing is, if i had gotten a job i liked before the last one was available then i would have never gotten the last one. and i would have missed out on meeting some very special people.

    so sometimes it is hard to understand what is going on or why but have some faith that things are operating brilliantly. and sometimes these bumpy patches we all have are actually blessings.
    "When you look into the eyes of another, any other, and you see your own soul looking back at you, then you will know that you have reached another level of consciousness." -Brian Weiss

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Delray Beach, Florida
    Posts
    26

    Default Thanks Everyone

    hello! firstly i'd like to thank everyone for their loving suggestions and advice! at the time i posted this on the board, i've also posted on a few different forums in order to get different opinions - and the responses have been from decent to negative to outrageously awkward ( for example: 1) i'm an energy vampire and only want sympathy to drain others and 2) i've been through several alien abductions from age 5. someone has dowsed that, and i'm currently looking into it. not because i don't believe it, but because it's just odd. )

    saturday, i went ahead and asked for my release from the job. i already feel a great load taken off my shoulders. although it's going to be difficult to look for another job in the upcoming months, i'm going to try to aim for something i'm going to enjoy this time around ( most likely involving animals or plant-life ). i'm also going to try and volunteer. not only because it looks good and helps the gaps on the resume, but because i think i would enjoy it.

    just thought i would give you all an update. thanks again for all the warm advice. i really was quite desperate and on the verge of heavy tears when writing the article and i'm glad to have received a huge loving response and open arms. thank you, thank you, thank you!

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