theeggo68 - the disorienting spiritual awakening
theeggo, your experience sounds a whole lot like an experience i had about 20 years ago. even despite so much time going by, it feels like it happened yesterday in some ways.
the basic similarities between yours and my experiences were:
- many ideas flowing into my head seemingly from thin air
- going "a little nuts" (an understatement, for me)
- researching, reading everything i could get my hands on
- working very hard to fit the pieces together
- recognizing "something" in music from the 60's & 70's
- suddenly finding the pieces, already put together by someone else.
i wrote some things about my experiences in a discussion thread titled "kundalini awakening," a little below this one. overall, my experience was characterized by tons of new ideas, a near-insane amount of energy, and a complete and total isolation. i made the mistake of trying to talk to a priest about it, and i could see in his eyes he was thinking i had gone off the deep end. by that time i knew i had not. i had spent years working as a mental health caregiver, so one day i sat down & made a list of symptoms of people who go over the edge in column a, and my "symptoms" in column b. (i had to consider both possibilities, if i was to be honest with myself, and i knew i needed total self-honesty to get through it all in one piece.) although there was some genuine overlap between column a and column b, there were enough significant differences that i knew the two columns were clearly describing two different things. i knew better than to even attempt to talk with a shrink about it, because i knew from many of my own professional experiences that they would be extremely careless about distinguishing the two phenomenae, since they were familiar with la-la-land on an everyday basis, but had zero experience with people trying to process an intense spiritual experience.
if, however, i went through that chaos, fear and frustration to be able to help serve as an anchor for somebody else going through a disorienting spiritual awakening, i consider it a distinct honor, my friend, and i am at your service. in some ways there can be surprisingly little distinction between heaven & hell, the main one being that in heaven you have a tourist map and a guide. lol or, as swiss psychiatrist carl jung once said it, the mystic swims in the *same* river that drowns the madman.
so if i have a word of advice to offer, it would be this: forget about the worries over whether or not you've lost your marbles. you haven't. in strictly psychological terms, you have entered into a period of unbridled creativity, and it may take you some time to sort the pieces out. if you can put your thoughts & feelings into concrete form through art, writing, music, or whatever way you have to express your feelings, it can help ground you.
i was about 37 when i went through my experience. frankly, i cannot believe you are only 19, and you still have your head this well together after such a disorienting experience. i am frankly in awe of that, just as i am in awe of david wilcock for managing to mentally & emotionally integrate the intense experiences he has had to deal with. i will not put you on a pedestal, just as i will not put david on a pedestal, but you may rest assured that you have my total respect. i do have a prediction: you will, one day, be well worth listening to for the things you know and understand. just keep putting those little pieces together. it might help if you keep a journal just to help you keep track of them.
as a bit of added information, there are a number of things documented as being able to trigger a kundalini experience. a few of them are yoga, meditation, an unexpected blow to the head, neck, or back - especially the lower spinal region. i had experienced all three at some point in my life. the day before i noticed the big changes in myself, i was in a auto accident & got my neck twisted a bit. one other person i know was working construction & got whacked in the small of his back with a big plank. i personally would be interested if you had experienced any of those things.
finally, as a mentor of mine was mildly famous for saying, "have at it!"
deepest respect,
paul
"kundalini awakening"
Originally Posted by theeggo68
hi everyone, i'm new here. i'll start by saying i'm incredibly thankful that i found this place and stumbled across david and his insight. i'll also say that i'm not the best writer, but i feel like i really need to get all of this out. i think you should be able to get the main idea of it anyway though
my brain has pretty much been on overload since last summer when i had an epiphany of some kind and a bunch of ideas started flowing into my head from thin air it seemed. after that happened i uhh.. went a little nuts haha, trying to research everything from science to religion to philosophy and trying to piece it all together in hopes of making sense of it all as one. i did get far enough to come to the conclusion that we were here to learn about love and then the beatles song even started playing in my head hahah, the "all you need is love" one. then once i'd gotten burnt out on it all after a while and set it aside, out what seemed to be pure accident, i stumbled across david wilcock... it was one of those "oh, my, god" moments, everything i had been contemplating for months and months had just been logically pieced together and laid out in front of me on a silver platter. i literally shed a tear of happiness.. i wasn't insane or alone after all!!
yeah anyway, i'm 19 now and i guess it's normal for me to feel a little confused in this part of life, but i feel like there's still something i should be doing. i thought all of this was what i was looking for, but i still feel kind of lost. ya know?? haha.. i know everyone gets that to an extent, however.... yeah i'm just rambling now so thanks for taking the time to read this. glad to be hear.
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