exactly!!!i feel as if we are all approaching our "last supper" is the best way i can describe it! we all know its coming and its just a matter of waiting but yeah i want to get over it, its like the last hill you need to walk over but it seems never ending to get to the other side.
for the past two years, i have been very strict about my eating and exercise habits because i wanted to change the appearance of my physical body. however, the weirdest thing happened--*absolutely nothing*, in spite of a vegetarian diet and vigorous exercise 5 to 6 days per week. i felt stronger in a sense, but i couldn't detect that my actions were having any sort of affect on my body whatsoever. in recent months, the need to *do* has given way to the need to contemplate and prepare. it occurred to me that what i needed wasn't *activity* but *release*. so i've been looking at all aspects of my life to see what unnecessary "weight" i'm holding onto and what kinds of habitual behavior i'm engaging in that might need adjusting. surprisingly enough, this approach feels more in line with the current times. it's not about my physical appearance. it's about something deeper than that. like a preparation for some impending event. however, it's not easy, and on the surface, it might look as if nothing's happening. still, i know that i'm making incredible progress where it counts. of course, i also have a long way to go yet.