episodic terror

[lisa renee]

for the past few years i have been experiencing episodic boughts of terror that i have no way of explaining. trust me, i have been trying to explain it to doctors, therapists and the like, but people just have no idea what on earth i am talking about.

doctors prescribe anti anxiety medication that i don't approve of, and therapists recomend the anti depressents. i have been calling it anxiety, which is my mistake, because that's the only way i've thought to explain it. but it's not actual anxiety because i'm not anxious about doing anything. i just get freaked out sometimes, i guess.

even when i think alittle bit about it, i get more and more ...anxious, because it has a colunmative effect, and i just get sucked into it like a vortex. right now i'm thinking about it to explain it and it's not even easy at all. i am freaking out a bit...

i would love to be free of these episodes, but if i don't even know what causes them, what can i do? nowadays, i've learned to ignore these thougths for the most part, but i still feel controlled by it like i can't rest my mind, and i want to know what causes this. i've been thinking lately that it might be some kind of 'psychic' reason for it, because i know it's not just clinical anxiety.

it always happens when i'm alone. all through high school i was terrified to be alone or free of distraction, because i knew what was coming. i would be scared, freaked out, panicky. i don't really know what to say. it always would happen at bedtime. i have to be alone with my thougths and horrible horrible images seep into my mind's eye. like fire and cataclysm and i must say -- it was like witnessing the end of the world. just sheer absolute terror.

i think now that this problem might be more psycological than physical depression/anxiety/paranoia about the end of the world (which i don't have!) in fact, i just tell people to suck it up, if the end of the world happens, then let it freakin' happen, don't be a crybaby about it. but this is not connected to any rational thought. it just happens, it feels like an attack, it just comes out of nowhere.

i was reading the law of one material and i came across this passage that made me think of these 'attacks' which happened most regularly years ago:


it is entirely possible for the untuned channel, as you call that service, to receive both positive and negative communications (from the orion group). if the entity at the base of its confusion is oriented toward service to others, the entity will begin to receive messages of doom.

messages of doom? sounds accurate. maybe it's something horribly freaky and mysterious like that? i don't know anything about this kind of stuff, though! what the hell is the orion group?!

it could be all in my head, as my counsler has insinuated, and i know it's all my responsibility. there's something in me that needs to be healed and i know it has to do with making boundaries, but that's so hard for me to do, because i am a natural actor and i want to know everything about everyone! i feel like there is no separation between me and others, but i know that's not healthy and i am trying on new boundaries, and have made enormous strides this year.

i may be highly vunerable to psychic influence, (whatever that is) because i have no boudaries, and i think i'm a highly spiritual person, in fact, i am one of those people, the happier and more succesful and positive i am, the more absolute distress i get from other people. it's like my happiness attracts attack, sometimes pysically (even though i would never even hurt a fly) and large amounts of emotional attack. it's like the more successful i become, the more people around me can't stand it, and i've always been a target for unexplainable jealousy.

i feel so sad because i feel that i am being manipulated into act in a way that is not who i know i am. i feel like if i get something good or act in a positive way, i am gonna get attacked, and nine times out of ten, i do! i'm really really scared to be successful these days. i cowar from fear of prosperity. what can i do?

i'm getting off topic, but this is what i am going through, just feelings of terrible fear that come from nowhere and then being attacked for my successess. i'm just so sad.

does david post here, because i would love to hear what he would have to say and if maybe there are other sufferers of these incredible inconveniences, i know i'm not the only one!

[eyez4096]

find something which you feel comfortable around -- a rock, a pendant, a symbol, a piece of furniture, but preferably small -- and understand that this comfort, this safety, is "creating" a psychic shield around you. indeed you can do this without any object to aid you, just as most ritual-created phenomena are totally possibly without ritual, but, like a ritual, the object may aid you in your belief and ultimately in your own creative power.

this sounds exactly like a psychic attack and i've experienced it too... though by my understanding i have some extra help in shielding from this which typically makes the attacks transient in nature.

it sounds to me like you don't know what to believe. all i ask is that you find a way to believe in something and let that something shield you while you continue to shine. personally i use rocks of various kinds and either carry some in my pockets or wear them as pendants (a topaz). do the rocks themselves actually do anything? it doesn't matter because they make me feel more safe and that's what makes the difference.

-charles

[soup]

its possible that as people energetically develope, they grow more sensitive in some ways or another - where things that they did before no longer work well. for example, i can remember a time when very little was going on in my life, it was quiet - though my blood was boiling. (this was before i was interested in correlating astrological transits.) i thought back upon what action i might have done that may have fostered that state and the thing that came to mind was some meat that i ate...felt as if it was loaded with fear hormones - as if by eating that meat i embodied the cow who gave its life and experienced its terror of standing in line for the cattle prods. so after that i became more careful about what i ate, went to a meat subordinant diet - which likely promoted even greater sensitivity. after years of this i figured out that soy protien wasn't enough, started to take egg white protien instead which seems to sustain me better, (couldn't tolerate whey, made my kidneys ache.) another thing i became more careful with is the emotions that my writings might precipitate in others - because i feel those emotions. writing to groups can be like playing with an emotionally reflective amplifier - the bigger and more energetic the group, the louder the reflections can be. it can be a challenge to distinguish so many things, the diet, the transits, the reflections. meditation can act like a reference state to come back to in the work of discerning what's going on - and with it there's chance that the intuition is heard in a way things become more clear and self apparent.

[Nina]

dear lisa,
you may want to read more about orion, meditation, white magic, etc from this well organized location. glad that charles found what works for him. take care, nina

http://lawofone.info/

[Robert Riedel]

hey there lisa renee, and fellow forumers,

when i first had the thought to respond to your thread, my own higher-self began to flood my being with all sorts of "oh yeah, you go boy" kinds of feelings and thoughts; thus i'm very aware of the need to put at least some of this into print.

i didn't think that this site would attract your kind so soon, but here we are. let's get on with it.

i'll begin by quoting myself: "knowledge- a solution to all questions." based on the scant information you have provided about yourself, my best guess is that you are in female form, perhaps between 24 and 35 years of age, and either have some education beyond h.s., or are employed in some activity that requires you to engage your mind beyond the mundane.

understand, dear one, that the structured institutions on this planet have been purposely designed to facilitate the identification and targeting of individuals like yourself- the schools, the entertainment industry, medical establishment especially, and of course the damned governments, as they exist today.

and, just who are they, anyway? it's not the illuminasties, or the bilderbuggers, or the rockyfellers, or the nazis' or satanists, although they are all playing their parts by being the curtain covering the evil wizards hiding behind them.

having received a personal reading via the "entity known as david," while cruising the carribean 2 1/2 years ago, i'll just say this about the "6th density group known as ra": if they're pointing the finger at the orion group, you can bet your butt that that's exactly who is behind a lot of the nonsense going on on this little planet today.

that doesn't help much, does it? you can now answer that question on a meaningless test, but what about the knowledge to know what it really means? this is the part where the "rubber meets the road": you're on your own! anybody can teach you anything you care to listen to, or read about, but knowledge, true knowledge lies within you, and once aquired, cannot be taken away, modified, or messed with in any way because it's yours! (see quote above)

knowledge is structured in conscousness, remembering raises conscousness. it's work, and it's worth it. you're worth it. and we need all the help we can get. time to get busy...

bob

i just finished this, hit the preview button, and deep purple's "smoke on the water" began playing on my jukebox! grand hotel, get it? qhatever...

[alan180563]

hi lisa

where do we start? probably best to start with something that's a common theme in david's blog which is the dream landscape. dreams are a form of self therapy if you will, where the higher self is attempting to help you with any psychological problems present in your psyche. if you're already familiar with this and david's blog then i'm just going over old ground but i can't stress the importance of dreams enough. do you remember your dreams? do you keep a dream diary? keeping a dream diary is one of the best things if not the best thing you can do in my opinion as part of your self healing process. when you write down what you can remember you'll notice that this in itself will help you to remember even more about your dreams. at first you may not be able to make sense of them but after a while you may notice a common thread and then by way of synchronicity you'll be guided in certain directions, to do certain things and related thoughts will pop into your mind. this is guidance from the higher self and believe me it truly is amazing. the dreams will become clearer and easier to remember as you progress and soon you'll begin to notice a difference in your self.

meditation has been mentioned already which is also highly recommended as another healing tool. there are also invocations you can use as part of the process too, especially the ones wrt protection. pm me if you're interested in those, i have a few some of which you may find resonate with you.

finally, don't forget about the importance of humour (sorry about the spelling but i'm english and we like to spell things with a french twist). humour is nourishment for the soul. i don't know if you've heard of swami beyondananda or not but i think he's hilarious. he plays on words in such a clever and funny way. you can check him out here:

http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ :d

wishing you all the best on your journey.

love is all & all is one

alan

[Bev]

hi lisa,
i'm a massage therapist and a true believer in alternative therapies. there's a mind/body connection that "modern medicine" doesn't really recognize, and as you said in your post, their solution is usually a pharmaceutical one. the plant kingdom has more natural solutions in the form of herbs, essences, and homeopathics. i have been practicing a meridian-based therapy where you tap certain parts of your body. you can learn more about this at [moderator: you may email bev if you would like the url] the list of things/people you could get help from is a long one, and if you're willing to go in that direction, it's a fascinating learning experience. doors will open you never even dreamed of! trust your inner guidance and pay attention to how you feel about what you have to choose from. you've already begun to ask for support from the asc2k list, and there have been some wonderful replies. know that we're here for you, whatever you decide to do!
healing love,
bev

[Nina]

dear lisa,
read alan's post and thought that along this line you may want to check out this fine , cayce-oriented dream interpretation article - nina

http://innerchangemag.com/0605_lazarus.htm

[Divine Cosmopolitan]

the quickest most exact answer i might personlly give is this: know that you are being sent these messeges of doom. learn a little more about who is sending them. then the next time they come, imagine the entity that is sending this message, and send that entity love.

thank the entity for the message of doom, and say "no thanks, i dont need these messages, im doing fine without them"

then send love and light to the entity. i visualize the orien group as just a planet or group of planets in space myself. in the big picture, they are offering you a service in an attempt to polarize you one way or the other. in essece you need to communicate to them that you do not request this service!

thats where the boundry comes in. then remember that you are powerful too and that you can offer service as well. thats why you offer them love and light. dont force it on them though, just surround them with it, so its there if they need it. thats your service. and in the grand sceme of things its just as legitimate a service, if not more so, than working 8 hours in a soup kitchen.

also, its easy for me to say, but i would suggest meditating so you can really address this moment head on. dont wait till you are alone or in bed to be assualted by these thoughts. be proactive and meditate. once again, based on waht you said, i know this cant be easy. but you can do it!
:o

[charran]

lisa renee,

i have a question for you. do you get outside at all and get any sun on your body and sit with your feet on mother earth?

events like you describe are more and more common if you are an indoor person. unless you are on medicines that react to sunlight or have the rare skin condition known as xp, i would "prescribe" some sunbathing and bare earth walking for you. expose at least 25% of your body to the sun at safe times (where the uv is at 2-5). uv goes from 0 (at sunrise) up to 11 (in the summer at roughly high noon) and back down to 0 at sunset. in general, if you get outside before 10am and after about 2:30pm you can get some safe sunshine on your body. get at least 20-40 minutes worth each day if you can. sunshine lifts depression and anxiety. it contains photons that are absorbed by the body and helps to create vit-d in the body which is far superior to that of vit-d pills. you might be surprised that you are vit-d deficient. most people with vit-d deficiency describe themselves like you did. i would also prescribe bare earth walking to attune to the good energies of mother earth. too much time on the computer or in the field of strong electromagnetic waves disrupts your own energy. often when you think things are hitting you on an emotional or mental level you find that it really is something going wrong in the physical body but that the energy is just overflowing the circuitry of the mental and emotional body.

also i would like to suggest eft to help you with your anxiety. see http://www.emofree.com/splash/video_popup.asp. you can get their free manual as a download.

also as far as attacks go...i've been there. went through a bought of this myself...but things are vastly different now. how did i change things? here's how. to change the situation change your focus. ask what the situation is gifting you with, and what you can do differently during your day, and you will find the answers to your questions. perhaps you are being too "nice" and not demonstrating "good boundaries" with others and the people you are running into are sensing this and walking all over you??? you don't have to take being treated badly by anyone. remember too that you can set a boundary and be firm and polite at the same time. just don't reflect hatred back at them..but have resolve and stick to attaining your objective - to not accept this bad energy and to dissipate it by transforming it into love.

if i can do it, anyone can. you carry a spark of the divine within you as do i. so you are capable of getting through this.

charran

[Teresamh7]

i suffer panic attacks as well and was misdiagnosed for years with depression. i have within the last year tried herbs, flowers, crystals with musch success. we can talk in private more about what works for me. i no longer take many chemicals (still have a couple of weaknesses every now and then, like a drink or two with friends, but i'm working on them) and i have just recently resigned my job of 10+ years. right now i suffer from eye twitches, where it feels like they are coming out of my head! i have extreme difficulty meditating because i freak out. i am not as knowledgable as most on this website, but i am here so we can talk. i use a lot of crystals and that helps a lot. i read alot!!! that is my best advice! you can contact me privately and i can help you in any capacity that i can. i mix and match what resonates with me.

[charran]

theresa,

read outside if you can - no sunglasses or glasses if you can help it for best results. the sunlight will help you with your eyes. you don't have to sungaze like i do. just get the beneficial rainbow rays by getting some sunlight absorption by being outside. deficiencies in sunlight/vit-d cause all sorts of things like epileptic seizures and spasms.

i would also recommend a good essential fatty acid blend (udo's choice comes to mind), vit-c, and some carrots for vit-a. they eyes use these components much much more than other organs do. i think you can nix your eye issue. the essential fatty acids are good for seizures and twitching. you might have to experiment to see which ones you might be deficient in. also watch what you eat/drink. have you heard that when you get seizures/twitching that it is a sign that your 2nd brain (in your gut by your solar plexus) is out of balance? read up/google on the 2nd brain if you get a chance. it is more important than we realize. i hope that something of what i am saying here helps you in some way.

and why on earth would you dis yourself and say that you aren't as knowledgable as others on this site? you obviously don't realize your own importance on this site! perfection not required. you have a contribution to make. perhaps your knowlege of crystals might come in very handy. that's the beauty of the unknown and your unknown. life is like a box of chocolates :) :) :)

charran

[Robert Riedel]

there seems to be a re-occuring need to re-visit this area of terror episodes, whether they be personal, national, or just general here within these forum walls. good show, y'all, because by dragging this darker side of our existance out to at least the light of discussion, perhaps they may not appear to seem so dark anymore, eh? this is precisely what the forces of the dark side fear most, and it is by the patient, consistant focusing on this aspect of our collective selves that we are beginning to see the results of our efforts!

as our friend david has talked about in reference to this revealing, don't sweat the details- just know that an effort of beyond biblical proportions is going on right now; we are smack in the middle of it, and from here on to eternity, it's going to be a wild, and wonderful ride, should you choose to accept it.

what other means to the dark-siders have available to them? they can masquerade as light-workers, using dis-information and mis-direction, to try to mis-lead you away from your path, but when you discover the charade, theie pants really do fall down, so to speak, and their power over you becomes a joke.

(charran, are you suggesting in your latest that as so many have always thought, there is evidence that some people really do have their heads up their butts, or somewhere in that general vicinity?) fascinating, as spock would say.

and absolutely, do not discount your lone individuality, but rather rejoice in it! you are a spark of the one infinite creator- strive to stroke that spark into a glorious flame!

bob

[FooSnik]

could be a past life trauma resurfacing in your present life. i highly recommend reading any of brian l. weiss m.d.'s books. he is an accomplished psychiatrist who has regressed thousands of people, using hypnotism, and has uncovered past life traumas which were haunting people in there present lives. unexplained phobias and terrors were cleared up when the people remembered and released the burden they were unknowingly carrying. my favorite 2 books of his are "many lives, many masters" and "through time into healing." hope that helps!

[soup]

i use a lot of crystals and that helps a lot...

i'm interested in crystals - definitely found some that seem more difficult to work with than others. it took me a while to get the concept of "clearing" a crystal, when first using them was having less than benign experiences and then in retrospect realized the stones hadn't been cleared. recently i was blessed with a smokey citrine "healing stone" which apparently is self clearing - the energy of it seems wholesome. i'm not sure if its a good starter stone - for some people, it takes a big clear crystal to awaken them to the reality of crystal energy, then as they're able to discern and appreciate the subtleties, the calmer and more benevolent feeling stones can become more appealing.

[jax]

dear lisa,
i certainly don't feel you are a weirdo because you're having anxiety attacks. you need help. i'm a grandmother and just turned 60 years old. i 've experienced bedtime anxiety attacks off and on over the past two years since i early retired. they were horrible, but i doubt very much if mine had anything to do with spiritual and/or et attacks....just stress, poor diet, inadequate drinking of water, lack of sleep, lack of oxygen, overwork, and lack of sunshine. the two things that i feel really helped me get rid of them are 1) deep breathing exercises and 2) taking vitamin b3 (niacin). i also made sure i was getting enough sunshine on my body (for vitamin d) during the winter. i now take a good multiple vitamin tablet every day to make sure i get a balance of all the vitamins and minerals. our modern diet is notoriously deficient for our body's nutrition. since our son is taking vitamins now for his mental illness, and finding much relief without the side effects of pharmaceutical drugs (poisons) i found out a lot about vitamin deficienies that cause myriad mental illnesses, such as manic depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. do yourself a favor and find a good naturopathic doctor that will help you with megavitamin therapy, or doctor yourself from vitamins you buy at health food stores, keeping careful notes of all the vitamins you take and how they make you feel. research anxiety attack on the www. join curezone.com where you can read hundreds of forums about every disease and alternate therapy under the sun. good luck. i care and i don't have anything i'm trying to sell you. feel free to email me or im me if you need encouragement.

[DAYDREAMS@onelink.ca]

there is nothing more intriguing or amazing than the diversity of human beings, each individual having a one of a kind experience with the same equipment. our capacity to regroup and rebound is part spirit, body, emotion and intellect.

my worst anxiety attacks came with a complete redesign of my life...children left home,i sold business, i sold home with a plan to travel. in putting those touch stones away, i found i felt worthless, like a nobody. i was haunted by a question that i thought i had long ago resolved....who do you think you are?

weeks ahead of time i had arranged to start this new life by staying with old friends in another city. i arrived mid afternoon, was greeted warmly by my host and hostess, who helped me unload my car. as i stood among my packages and luggage in my room, the little fear in my belly ran away with me. the only place i felt safe was my little car. it took time and some personal homework for me to grow comfortable in the new skin. if i hadn't stepped outside my comfortable life i would have continued to avoid looking my fears in the face.

i love the phillip brooks quote in the above post...here's a favorite of mine by goethe...
"if we take people as they are,
we make them worse.
if we treat them as if they ought to be,
we help them to become what they are
capable of becoming."

[andromeda]

hi lisa
sorry you are having these episodes. there are two reasons why you may be going through them:

1) unresolved fear from childhood that may or may not involved the abduction or your dream body.

2) being highly empatic and "reading" involuntarily records of the destruction of atlantis as we transit the same sector and are getting close to the central sun.

for the first one, healing the inner child and surrendering to your fear rather than escaping it will work. it will take determination and several sessions. the pthaa (linda king) method works very well with unresolved emotions.

it is very likely that you may have your base chakra clipped and has to be restored to balance ( i have seem many with unreasonable fear with this problem).

if you feel that your dream body has been abducted you will need a soul retrieval.

whether the orion group is responsible or not, or anybody else its not important, what is important is that you don't fear them because that way you empower them; that is what makes whitchcraft work, your fear.

in the second case, just surround yourself with unconditional love. it is like a cloud of magenta light. you must try to raise your vibration when this happens even if it is not easy. that way you would reach other sectors of the astral plane that has better quality memories.

good luck

andromeda

[pyramidnj]

greetings lisa renee! our family members here in this group have all surrounded you with love...an outpouring of love in which you may just relax and receive with great joy. that's one of the reasons i appreciate this group so much. i would like to offer a tool that i use, which i found somewhere a while back, and that i consider to be a gift from the universe....reference to the christ light is at a universal dimension, not connected with any specific religion.

"father, mother god i ask that i be cleared and cleansed
within the universal white christ light, the green healing light
and the purple transmuting flame.

within god's will and for my highest good
i ask that any and all negativity be completely sealed
in its own light encapsulated within the yltra-violet light
cut off and removed from me.

impersonally, with neither love nor hate
i return all negativity to its source of emanation,
decreeing that it never again be allowed to
re-establish itself within me or anyone else in any form.

i now ask that i be placed within a triple capsule
of the universal white christ light of protection,
and for this blessing i give thanks."

during the dream state or whenever these visions arise, another powerful tool is to immediately begin singing hu, a very powerful frequency through which you are singing a love song to the source of all that is ..... it is pronounced like the name hugh or hew.....quite effective in dispersing negative energy, for it is pure love expressed in sound. as you relax yourself, no matter how terrifying the images are and begin to sing hu, combine the sound with the power of feeling gratitude from the heart, or love, allowing that feeling to power your song of love to source. a thought just came to mind as i am writing this. "as you give, so shall you receive." the power of this sound of love emanating from you will return to you many times over, bathing you in the beauty of divine love.

frequent singing of the hu quietly as one is driving, doing errands, just doing life, in addition to prior to bedtime or awaking....first 10 minutes or if experienced meditator [powerful energy] up to 30 minutes at a time, is greatly beneficial to you personally and to the collective consciousness as you will be contribution vibrations of pure love rather than lesser vibrations such as fear, anger, anxiety, etc.

just know that we all love you and surround you, and all others in this beautiful group, with that love as you are embraced in our thoughts!

jo anne

[soup]

...another powerful tool is to immediately begin singing hu, a very powerful frequency through which you are singing a love song to the source of all that is...

earlier today i was learning to sing with "vibrato", which isn't exactly natural for my voice - it breaks me out into giggles. so you can imagine i practice the hu with a quasi vibrato...

in any case, this reminds me of eckankar, a group devoted to this sound:
http://www.eckankar.org/hu.html

[pyramidnj]

soup, i am smiling as i imagine you using a vibrato while singing the hu:) -- i think that will take it to a "whole 'nother level" probably decreasing the frequency power! great idea to include the link to the eckankar site with a sample of the hu, although eckists are not "devoted" to the hu but use it as a special tool to express love to the divine through a very high frequency sound. the hu is also used in sufi litany to call to allah by a very powerful frequency, so hu without the vibrato is worth trying!

dancing in the light and sound of all that is! jo anne

[Art]

lisa -

i originally didn't post to your thread - most of what i had to say was already written by others. i write to you now though with hopes of hearing good news...

i don't know what i've done to decrease the amount of panic attacks i experience. i've tried alot of things that people mention in the thread - the most beneficial have been spending more time outside and drinking water. notice i said decrease because i still get them from time to time as i have not completely "freed" myself from these episodes. i look at them as a "wakeup call"; if i happen to experience one it lets me know its time to refocus and regroup. also lets me know i'm not addressing something that is bothering me...

so, again, hope to hear things are getting a little better for you...

take care!