Darryl Barnes
02-22-2006, 04:28 AM
i would like to truly thank the creators of this list.
i had had another dream regarding the ascension
process and that spured me to go back to wilcock's web
site. it had been a
year and a half or so since i'd been there. i then
found this list which said to read the guide for the
ra material. it answered one of my fundemental life
questions. actually, i didn't see it the first time i
read it. then i had a dream that basically said "you
read it, but you missed this very important point!".
i've realized since college that i seem to be a very
polarizing figure. on the one hand, i couldn't seem
more normal, but on the other hand people consistently
seem to take extreme views about me. one set of people
take an overly positive view of me and have really
high expectations of me. this often takes the form of
wanting me to take a leadership or protective role for
them. the other group takes an immediate highly
charged negative view of me. it's a very strong
negative gut reaction that often results in them
taking very negative actions towards me. for
example....recently my bosses boss said 5 minutes into
our first meeting that she just really didn't like me
but couldn't explain why. at least she was honest!
on more that one occasion i've had descibe me as
"evil" from people that didn't even know me! even if
they knew everything about me...how did they get
"evil"? i assumed that it was something i must have
done in a past life or something. in college, before i
learning to "supress" my spirtual energy, this
"effect" occured even more consistently than now.
for a long time now i've taken a philisophical view
about this. i've become very at peace with these
responses because i realized long ago that is was the
positive people that took the the exagerated positive
view of me and negative people that took an exagerated
negative view. i do nothing to elicite these
responses. it doesn't seem normal but it does seem
innate and therefore nothing i can change. but
although i was resigned to it, i never understood it.
....and now i do and for that i thank you!
my dream pointed out to me that what i didn't catch
when i read the material is that i am an "innate
catalyst" because my energy polarizes people and shows
more clearly their true "service to" orientation. in
this way, i'm actually being a service to them! this
has been a real revalation for me and greatly helps me
accept the people with the inexplicably strong views
more easily.
and this is very important for me now because i am
going to start "un-supressing" my spiritual energy. i
did not have the strength 20 years ago to be extremely
empathic and this "catalyst". i'd become very
depressed and suicidal. i made a pack with "god" that
i would stay if my psychic abilities would go away and
if i was excused of being so pathetically nice all of
the time. i was quite the doormat back then.
it's now 20 years later, and i realize that it's time
to undo this. i am a lot stronger now and with this
understanding it will be easier to deal with the
greater negative reactions i'm going to get from the
highly service-to-me crowd.
anyone else have similar experiences?
regards,
darryl
i had had another dream regarding the ascension
process and that spured me to go back to wilcock's web
site. it had been a
year and a half or so since i'd been there. i then
found this list which said to read the guide for the
ra material. it answered one of my fundemental life
questions. actually, i didn't see it the first time i
read it. then i had a dream that basically said "you
read it, but you missed this very important point!".
i've realized since college that i seem to be a very
polarizing figure. on the one hand, i couldn't seem
more normal, but on the other hand people consistently
seem to take extreme views about me. one set of people
take an overly positive view of me and have really
high expectations of me. this often takes the form of
wanting me to take a leadership or protective role for
them. the other group takes an immediate highly
charged negative view of me. it's a very strong
negative gut reaction that often results in them
taking very negative actions towards me. for
example....recently my bosses boss said 5 minutes into
our first meeting that she just really didn't like me
but couldn't explain why. at least she was honest!
on more that one occasion i've had descibe me as
"evil" from people that didn't even know me! even if
they knew everything about me...how did they get
"evil"? i assumed that it was something i must have
done in a past life or something. in college, before i
learning to "supress" my spirtual energy, this
"effect" occured even more consistently than now.
for a long time now i've taken a philisophical view
about this. i've become very at peace with these
responses because i realized long ago that is was the
positive people that took the the exagerated positive
view of me and negative people that took an exagerated
negative view. i do nothing to elicite these
responses. it doesn't seem normal but it does seem
innate and therefore nothing i can change. but
although i was resigned to it, i never understood it.
....and now i do and for that i thank you!
my dream pointed out to me that what i didn't catch
when i read the material is that i am an "innate
catalyst" because my energy polarizes people and shows
more clearly their true "service to" orientation. in
this way, i'm actually being a service to them! this
has been a real revalation for me and greatly helps me
accept the people with the inexplicably strong views
more easily.
and this is very important for me now because i am
going to start "un-supressing" my spiritual energy. i
did not have the strength 20 years ago to be extremely
empathic and this "catalyst". i'd become very
depressed and suicidal. i made a pack with "god" that
i would stay if my psychic abilities would go away and
if i was excused of being so pathetically nice all of
the time. i was quite the doormat back then.
it's now 20 years later, and i realize that it's time
to undo this. i am a lot stronger now and with this
understanding it will be easier to deal with the
greater negative reactions i'm going to get from the
highly service-to-me crowd.
anyone else have similar experiences?
regards,
darryl