M.W.
08-09-2005, 12:09 PM
brain power aaagh!
thanks guys, i'm now convinced that i'm not
all that sub-human.
i admit i was of two minds when i created my
posting lamenting my lack of iq. true, it was
done partly tongue in cheek, but on the other
hand i am acutely aware of and frustrated by my
intellectual shortcomings ... lacking tools i would
like to have. i think.
i know more about the philosophy of math than
how to utilize it. i think i enjoy classical music
but i can't grasp it more than a few bars at a time.
listening to music i sometimes feel akin to the
frankenstein monster in trying to pluck notes of
music out of the air as if they were butterflies!
the act of composing and holding a composition
in one's mind seems to me to be on par with playing
blindfolded chess against twenty or so visioned
opponents. if i try real hard i can hum twinkle,
twinkle little star.
but then again having talents could be a horrible curse
if i didn't handle the gifts correctly. and knowing my
kinks and flaws of character i have to admit that i'm at
my restricted level for a very good reason. i used to
desire psychic abilities. after coming to an
understanding of the dangers and the need for serious
discipline to avoid negative intrusion. i thank god that
i was spared the calamity of that booby-trap-laden
ill-advised venture
in some reading i came across an interesting idea to
the effect that it is very misleading trying to identify
the behind-the-scenes accumulated level of a entity's
consciousness by their current incarnational appearance.
that seems to make sense assuming that a soul has a
humble job of learning to accomplish that cannot be
done if he/she brings along her whole stuffed bag of
distracting tricks. so, the slobbering idiot
counting on his fingers may actually be albert
einstein back to tidy up a few loose ends.
to supplement my social insecurity check i work at
a gas/convenience store. this is in an area of
mixed demography with the majority of the customers
recently arriving from across the border. when i wait
on them i wonder what really lies behind their simple
appearance ... of what grandeur of higher soul
accumulation stands behind each and every one. i
love to look at their little children and catch their
eyes. i give them a smile, and in my heart i warmly
welcome them to this life experience. sometimes i do
sense a deeper understanding and recognition behind
those beautifully appreciative smiles they offer
in return.
now this kind of "social" opportunity is new to
me. for 43 years i was a motion picture machine
operator ... a projectionist in movie theatres.
it was neat in that i probably read 5000 books
and viewed 5000 movies ... but now i meet
more people in a week than i encountered then
in a year's time back then. for much of my life
i just saw the blank backness of people's heads
when i peered out of my teeny port hole!
i'm off-duty now, but in my heart i'm smiling
warmly at all of you. (i know, all of you are
big now, but...)
bill g aka billybob
thanks guys, i'm now convinced that i'm not
all that sub-human.
i admit i was of two minds when i created my
posting lamenting my lack of iq. true, it was
done partly tongue in cheek, but on the other
hand i am acutely aware of and frustrated by my
intellectual shortcomings ... lacking tools i would
like to have. i think.
i know more about the philosophy of math than
how to utilize it. i think i enjoy classical music
but i can't grasp it more than a few bars at a time.
listening to music i sometimes feel akin to the
frankenstein monster in trying to pluck notes of
music out of the air as if they were butterflies!
the act of composing and holding a composition
in one's mind seems to me to be on par with playing
blindfolded chess against twenty or so visioned
opponents. if i try real hard i can hum twinkle,
twinkle little star.
but then again having talents could be a horrible curse
if i didn't handle the gifts correctly. and knowing my
kinks and flaws of character i have to admit that i'm at
my restricted level for a very good reason. i used to
desire psychic abilities. after coming to an
understanding of the dangers and the need for serious
discipline to avoid negative intrusion. i thank god that
i was spared the calamity of that booby-trap-laden
ill-advised venture
in some reading i came across an interesting idea to
the effect that it is very misleading trying to identify
the behind-the-scenes accumulated level of a entity's
consciousness by their current incarnational appearance.
that seems to make sense assuming that a soul has a
humble job of learning to accomplish that cannot be
done if he/she brings along her whole stuffed bag of
distracting tricks. so, the slobbering idiot
counting on his fingers may actually be albert
einstein back to tidy up a few loose ends.
to supplement my social insecurity check i work at
a gas/convenience store. this is in an area of
mixed demography with the majority of the customers
recently arriving from across the border. when i wait
on them i wonder what really lies behind their simple
appearance ... of what grandeur of higher soul
accumulation stands behind each and every one. i
love to look at their little children and catch their
eyes. i give them a smile, and in my heart i warmly
welcome them to this life experience. sometimes i do
sense a deeper understanding and recognition behind
those beautifully appreciative smiles they offer
in return.
now this kind of "social" opportunity is new to
me. for 43 years i was a motion picture machine
operator ... a projectionist in movie theatres.
it was neat in that i probably read 5000 books
and viewed 5000 movies ... but now i meet
more people in a week than i encountered then
in a year's time back then. for much of my life
i just saw the blank backness of people's heads
when i peered out of my teeny port hole!
i'm off-duty now, but in my heart i'm smiling
warmly at all of you. (i know, all of you are
big now, but...)
bill g aka billybob