Falling in love with yourself

[Michael Bergman]

Greetings and blessings to one and all,


What does is mean to love yourself? Not just accepting the parts of
yourself that you like and denying the other parts of yourself that you
dislike but actually loving your whole self unconditionally, the whole kit
and caboodle from the brightest light to the darkest shadow. You are all of
those things; every freckle and wart, and to deny one part of yourself is to
deny your whole being for without that one part there is no whole. You can
never put your humpty dumpty self back together again if you leave out even
one of the pieces that make up your life through the ignorance of denial.
Accept yourself completely, say yes to everything that you are because to
accept yourself is to love yourself; they are one and the same.

Do you truly love yourself just the way that you are, right here and now?
Can you accept all of your self-perceived imperfections knowing that they
are what make you unique? Your imperfections are a gift for they are what
make you and no other, YOU. Only you can be you, there is not and never
will be another being with the exact same imperfections that make up who you
are in this life on Earth. Have you ever wondered what the purpose of your
life is for? The purpose of your life is to be you; you earned this life on
Earth to express yourself like only you can. "You are here to be here, and
just by being here you are making a difference." The more you love and
accept yourself the greater the difference you will make.

Fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with all of your imperfections
that can only be expressed by you. Without your presence there is no
present, without you there is no whole; you are that special, important, and
integral to the functioning of the entire universe. A great deal of falling
in love with yourself has to do with the act of forgiving yourself, to see
the perfection of all imperfections. Your entire past has brought you
perfectly into this perfect moment of wholeness. What you once thought of,
as a mistake was actually just a learning experience to help you learn more
about what love really is. Forgive yourself completely of all seeming past
failures and mistakes for they have served their purpose well and can now be
utterly forgotten in praise and thanksgiving for their teachings.

Love yourself and respect yourself by taking care of your body, mind and
soul and all that your senses consume by living as if you are pregnant with
a baby. In fact you are in labor with the seed of Christ consciousness
waiting to be born and blossom in your heart. Shine the light of your
attention and water this seed every day by learning to become your own best
friend, your very own lover as you release all judgments of self. "Until
you, yourself, are able to be unconditional about your love of yourself and
able to embrace even the darkest shadow of your personality; you shall not
be able to nurture and cherish another soul." All is well, help is all
around you just waiting for your request; you are never alone. Where is the
love in this moment? It can be wherever you are, but that choice is
entirely up to you. Choose well my friend and remember I can only love you
because I first love me.

Thank you q'uo and l/l research, the synchronicities are just amazing.

I love you all
Peace,
Mikey

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[Lesley Schultz]

Hi Mickey:


--- Michael Bergman <bergmanmichael@... (/group/asc2k/post?postID=DQ7Si6B70ProhkRV8UqQjkdCeRSgrT9TQY9yR8 x2bVbiMbA-hpqsRyY82X-e1-N6Lx6b9Kx2HxcwAFDP)> wrote:

>snip>> Love yourself and respect yourself by taking
care of your body, mind and soul and all that your
senses consume by living as if you are pregnant with
a baby. <<snip>> "Until you, yourself, are able to
be unconditional about your love of yourself and able
to embrace even the darkest shadow of your
personality; you shall not be able to nurture and
cherish another soul." All is well, help is all
around you just waiting for your request; you are
never alone. Where is the love in this moment? It
can be wherever you are, but that choice is entirely
up to you. Choose well my friend and remember I can
only love you because I first love me. <<ends>>

LS: Well, all these are lovely thoughts, with a lot of
truth in them. I think it's needful to talk about
judgement a little also. We live in a world where we
are constantly judged and found wanting. We judge
ourselves when there isn't anyone else around to judge
us. All this gets trained into us from infancy,
provides much of the context against which we live our
lives. Every infant is born with the innate ability
to love itself, and it is also born with the ability
to mirror what it receives. Studies that were done in
primates many years ago showed that if an infant
chimpanzee or other primate is left alone, without
love and attention- even though adequately fed and
physically attended to- it dies. Human beings are
conscious of self; I don't think neglect alone will
kill an infant human being but the mental, emotional,
spiritual and even physical damage that is done is
very, very great.

Judging the self, and judging others, is not a lot
different from neglect and emotional/spiritual/mental
starvation. Judgment is rejection, and human beings
can't live with continual rejection without building
defenses. The defenses that get built are very
specific to the person that builds them, because
judgement is a very personal thing. The defenses
themselves can kill, can even be a form of suicide.
Suicide is the ultimate judgement of the self, by the
self, and says that the self doesn't deserve to live.
Murder is the ultimate judgement of a self, by another
self, and says the same thing-- and really, what it
means is the the one who murders is saying that he or
she does not deserve to live. Murder is a defense in
this case, against judgement on the self. The one
perfectly mirrors the other. In our society of
selves, one who murders is Cast Out, which is living
death. In effect, the same as the suicide that
contemplates death but can't execute what it desires.

Two children were brutally mutilated and murdered over
the last day or so, according to the network news
sources this morning. These innocent victims' only
crime is that they were perfect mirrors of the
judgement of self inflicted on their murderers. Few
crimes in American today are as execrated and despised
as child murder or infantacide. What actually
happened is that the murderers committed suicide and
took other people with them. It was the judgement of
self that killed these people. If we don't stop
judging others in a negative way- I don't mean that
one can't gently and lovingly correct or redirect-
murder, rape, mahem, theft, etc. will never end.
Furthemore, if we don't stop judging ourselves in a
negative way, we won't be able to stop judging others.


While loving oneself, for those that have been living
with various forms of self-hatred and self-judgement,
may be a very hard task to perform, it might be
worthwile starting smaller. Like not judging yourself
when you feel, say or do something that is
inconsistent with the way you want to be in your life.
You can say, "wow, I wish I hadn't done this that
way", or "gee, that didn't come out quite the way I
wanted it to." This is still a judgement, but not a
nasty one that is hard to live with. People can
forgive themselves for little foibles. Understanding
that they're all little foibles takes a bit longer to
completely realize, but one step at a time ;-)

I would disagree, respectfully, with the statement in
Mickey's quote that you can't love another until you
love yourself. I think that a human being's first
nature is to love, and we are born knowing how to
love. Love is entirely natural. By loving, we find
the path back to our true self-- whether the love is
for one's self or for another. Loving another without
loving first the self is certainly possible, but it's
like having a short circuit; loving another self
without loving self can be a kind of defense against
rejection/judgement, by allowing it to be possible to
reject/judge the other for not returning your love.
Rejection/judgement is externalized. The pain of not
loving the self is objectified and distanced, but not
gotten rid of.

Loving another self without loving self also makes it
hard to accept love from the loved otherself-- it can
make it possible for the self to question its
judgement in not loving the self, but it can't solve
the central problem. The questioning of worthiness of
self, without allowing for the possibility of the self
actually being worthy of love, can also be a defense
that leads to all kinds of judging behavior, usually
not desired behaviors.

Ultimately, let us first strive to not judge another
self. In not judging another, we take the energy out
of the judging process and make it harder for us to
judge ourselves. If indeed we are to create a unique
4th density experience on this world, right now, we
can start with that.

good journey,
~lesley












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[NEIL HADDON]

Lesley wrote:
>Ultimately, let us first strive to not judge
another
self. In not judging another, we take the energy
out
of the judging process and make it harder for us
to
judge ourselves.<

Very deep and thoughtful message, Lesley.

Wally Minto, from whom I have quoted previously,
suggested we could understand judgement better if
we reversed the biblical message, i.e.:
"Lest ye be judged, judge not."
Wally argued that the fear of being judged - and
found wanting - by our peers was one of the
greatest fears in the human race.How many times do
we do something, or refrain from doing something
because 'it's expected of us', and to do 'it'
differently, or not at all may attract
comdemnation or judgement? How long do we put up
with things because to rebel against them might
get us labelled a 'weirdo'?

In fact, whenever we call someone else 'wrong' it
does not make us 'right'; certainly in the other
peron's mind we ourselves are more likley to
become 'wrong'. Isn't that how conflict starts -
ultimately violence and war?

Lack of self esteem is said to be the biggest
single personal challenge in the 'western' world,
and I think you are quite correct when you say we
use judgement of others as a defence, to cover up
our own hidden reservations about ourselves.

Ra is constantly urging us to know ourselves, to
explore our selves, to experience everything, if
not in physical reality, then in the mind - yes
even murder, or rape. We automatically condemn or
judge the murderer or rapist - and others; yet
have we seriously explored, deep within our minds,
how we would feel as we murdered or raped someone?
How would it feel to abuse a little child? A man
over here was recently sent down for sexual abuse
of an eighteen month old baby! How could he do
that?

We don't know until we put ourselves in his shoes
and are brave enough and honest enough to explore
that situation in ourselves, mentally of course.

After all, we are all One. we are every situation,
we are every emotion. We can decide not to choose
a path of murder, or rape, or service to self. But
unless that choice is made in full knowledge,
after brutally honest consideration of the
experience, do we really have ownership of that
choice? Or is it like being a catholic, or a
methodist, or a Muslim, or a Jew because your
mother and father were one, or that was the place
or school you grew up in?

Yes, Lesley, "If indeed we are to create a unique
4th density experience on this world, right now,
we
can start with that. " ... let's start by
replacing 'judgement' with love and light: the
"evil ones" and 'criminals' and 'manipulators' of
this world are all the Creator experiencing the
Creator. Thankfully, we do not have to carry guilt
for the outcomes of their choices - for if we can
forgive them, we forgive ourselves: 'forgive' =
'give' love and light 'for'.

Love.
Neil

[Michael Bergman]

namaste lesley and all,

>Ultimately, let us first strive to not judge another
>self. In not judging another, we take the energy out
>of the judging process and make it harder for us to
>judge ourselves. If indeed we are to create a unique
>4th density experience on this world, right now, we
>can start with that.

Thank you for bringing up the issue of judgment for that is definately a
central issue in not loving the self. What is judgment but the opposite of
acceptance? I still feel it is not possible to love another without first
loving yourself which begs me to question, "How can you love another without
first knowing yourself as love?" As far as creating a unique 4th density
experierence on this world right now, how about we start thinking as if
others can hear are thoughts?

peace,
Mikey

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[GenoNess1@...]

In a message dated 11/24/2004 6:53:57 AM Pacific Standard Time,
bergmanmichael@... (/group/asc2k/post?postID=OWHXq1h4Ha-4pOsg1Ec2iLHNvsalvjT_HO9ZLGNjFfrbSb6NOKU1RwTlb5CHe KrP4Fp8fHntYwhkOlROCyC6sw) writes:
As far as creating a unique 4th density
experierence on this world right now, how about we start thinking as if
others can hear are thoughts?

Funny you mention this as it is definitely a part of my reality. in a good
way of course! Lo0ve, me!


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