David Wilcock
06-07-2003, 05:56 AM
Group,
Before someone else updates me, let me say that I did realize that the
Zeta Talk site is still operational at its original URL - the other site
is simply a mirror site for the UK.
Upon re-reading Leider's latest message from my latest "Zeta Talk"
thread, the dangers of becoming an "Internet Messiah / Prophet of Doom"
are all too evident. As we all know, in about a one-month cycle we get
someone coming on here and accusing me of having a "huge ego," for any
number of reasons, some apparently more well-meaning than others,
Kandrah being an example in this category. And I'm sure that if he's
still here, he'd probably say that I'm "defending my public image" in
this email, as I cannot really make ANY comments to this list without
SOMEONE taking offense. Nonetheless, the confluence of Leider's
statement with our own recent brouhaha has me thinking of additional
data that relates to both issues, the similarities and differences
thereof.
Anyway, I've so far held back on making any comparisons, but there is a
time to be silent and a time to speak. The Planet X issue IS of
importance, as it has significantly polarized a good portion of the
relatively small number of people who are actively following these
issues. And now that Leider has called her own end-date a "white lie"
and left it to "anything goes, and all other dates are fraudulent,"
obviously including anything pertaining to the Mayan Calendar, we're in
for a long ride. NOW is the time to be positive spiritual activists, to
show that the changes are real and still on time, but the explanation
for them has nothing to do with Planet X, which does indeed exist though
is not on an Earth-intercept course, Sitchin notwithstanding.
I've still not been willing to write a full rebuttal of this theory on a
purely scientific basis, but now that the date has come and gone, the
time is soon arriving where this will be necessary. It's more effective
to write such an article after the prophecy has failed, as now most of
its legitimacy has been emptied.
As Strieber wrote in his own recent article, the Planet X crew (led by
Leider) has effectively taken ANYTHING that happens remotely related to
earth changes, astrophysics or politics and somehow tied it in with the
Planet X issue. Upon reading the "White Lie" again, it is easy to see
the exaggerated sense of self-importance that she is feeling. If I
behaved with even 10% as much self-aggrandizement as her website has
been showing since she got on Art Bell, I would have lost any legitimacy
that I might have otherwise had, and would undoubtedly suffer
financially as well, since no one would want a reading from me.
Again, in reading her articles, everything that is happening in the
world, whether it is the raising of the alert status to orange or
otherwise, centers around her world, her publicity, her prophecy, her
appearances on Coast to Coast AM. In psychology this is called
'Narcissistic Personality Disorder.' In this case it is the end-product
of someone's ego being inflated by relatively significant public
attention, without the support structures in place for someone trusted
and loved to come along, face to face, and say, "You're way out of line
here."
MY OWN CATALYST
I do not doubt for a moment that the POTENTIAL could exist for someone
in my position, looking just like EC with the same natal astrology and
doing similarly accurate readings, to become a megalomaniac. However, as
a result of a strictly imposed "Curtain of Silence" over my former
relationship, no one was truly aware of just HOW FAR the higher self had
gone to insure that this never happen; indeed, it would appear to be
almost an over-correction, but hindsight is 20/20, and it did take me a
LONG time to figure out what was going on. I have been hammered so hard
these last 4 years that I have to laugh in amazement when someone lobs
these accusations at me. Hence I say, DUDE, YOU REALLY DO NOT KNOW ME,
THOUGH YOU THINK YOU DO. So here I will share some more of my process,
hopefully bridging that gap a little bit more.
I do want to make it clear that the Higher Self has carefully set up the
game so that every "Real Person" I interacted with day to day would
smash any pedestal that I might even imagine would exist under me. I
believe that it is time to start taking the walls of secrecy down and
for the first time begin honestly communicating what I experienced in my
relationship, which I only broke out of this past February. Again, by
her own request at the time, I was strictly forbidden from disclosing
even the most transient details of what was going on... I didn't even
talk about her nearly dying from a car accident until six months later,
for example. Just think about that. Think about all the ego food /
financial love offerings I could have gotten by making a big dramatic
announcement on the website. Yet, nothing... I processed it alone.
I met Sabrina before my website ever went online - right around the time
that I first finished an earlier draft of the Shift of the Ages. So, our
patterns got established before I ever had any 'success' as defined by
publicity and attention. Throughout the time I was with her, my work was
always of secondary importance in our relationship - better off
discussed as little as possible. Hardly ever did we have a conversation
about my having been Edgar Cayce, for example. I didn't dare read her a
positive email that I got from anyone as she would automatically accuse
me of self-aggrandizing.
In the early days she refused to act like she knew me when we would go
to the ARE or Heritage store - we literally would have to go our
separate ways and do separate checkouts in case someone 'recognized' me.
This caused quite a disagreement between us on New Year's Eve 1999, when
she refused to even acknowledge me at a distance more than with quick
eye contact after she had invited me to go to the ARE with her for the
New Year's celebration. The reasons behind her reversal that night were
never quite clear - she said that there were "people around" who she
hadn't expected would be there. I had been home filling emergency
bottles of water before a hypothetical y2k power blackout, so I didn't
get there until about 11PM. I chose to be VERY hurt at the time by her
overt dismissal of me after having invited me to go.
Apparently she had friends there and she did not want them to know that
she had any connection with Wilcock. And the majority of them never did,
except for a circle of no more than 5 people who actually visited our
house on any regular basis.
When any of those 5 "couple friends" people came along, (and the
majority of the time it was one couple, who later broke up,) over time I
was essentially taught not to start any conversation, as I was told that
once I started talking about my work it 'consumed the energy' in the
house, which translated into her not being the focus of attention. (One
notable exception to the rule was when Dr. Izumoto came to visit - he
was my one friend who she had no stake in trying to control my behavior
with.) So, by the end of our relationship, I would deliberately try to
avoid conversation, divert questions, et cetera, as if I answered a
question with any proficiency the accusations would fly as soon as the
guest/s left the house.
In such an environment, if I had even the SLIGHTEST pride in what I did,
I got shot down. Any one-on-one private couple discussion of my
scientific data or of occult / Illuminati politics was strictly
forbidden if it lasted more than 5 minutes, so she never truly
understood "the big picture" of what I was doing and its background.
Some of you core people will remember how she camped OUTSIDE the room
when our Time of Global Shift tour was going on in Louisville - even
bare walls were more exciting.
Please understand that despite all of these things (and believe me, I'm
still just describing the very tip of the iceberg,) I loved her. In
fact, as I now see it, my problem was that I loved her MORE than I loved
myself. She had two major goals in life, as far as I could tell, perhaps
three. The most intense goal was to become an overwhelmingly popular
music star, and to then use that hypothetical influence to become a
spiritual teacher for the world. (Only under rigorous cross-examination
would I get her to admit that she longed for the wealth and apparent
glory that such a career would provide.) The second goal was to become
famous as a laboratory-tested psychic with high accuracy. Admittedly,
she did have extremely advanced intuitive capabilities, which definitely
exceeded my own in certain areas.
I would try endlessly to tell her that one should pursue music or
psychic ability purely from a platform of service to others and joy in
the work, without expectation of return. And my line about any
hypothetical success in the music industry was one that I had heard
endlessly from my mother: "First you've got to be the best, then you've
got to win the lottery." My first and only other girlfriend, Yumi, also
had a desire for fame, although in her case it was to be a world-class
hairstylist in Paris.
So, over the first three years of time, our relationship steadily
worsened a and degraded as she saw more and more of what she thought she
wanted for herself happening to me, even though it was only a fraction
of the life that she had envisioned for herself. One could say that this
was a form of jealousy, though I never once dared to use that word or
concept in an argument.
This situation produced enormous catalyst for me to come out with many
readings regarding how to solve relationship problems. In fact, this
catalyst was probably 95% responsible for my realization of the concept
that we must learn to see everything as simply an experience, and that
we only CHOOSE to label it as suffering. I was constantly being
challenged not to CHOOSE to see my life as endless suffering at the
hands of another loved one.
As I have written elsewhere, I had a successive series of betrayals
after moving to Virginia Beach, the final major one occurring just AFTER
I had been through the hand injury, six months after Sabrina got hit by
a car and nearly passed away. This person had been financially
supporting me, and the only time I got work done was when I drove to his
house. The first major visit completed Convergence III in spring 2001,
and the second major visit hacked away at Divine Cosmos in spring 2002.
Anyway, it was at that second visit where I opened up and gave a
tell-all to what was really going on behind the scenes in my
relationship.
This turned out to be the crucial breaking-point in our relationship, as
he felt that any source that told me to stay with Sabrina had to be a
negative entity, based on her behavior. This was definitely a projection
of his own dissatisfaction with self, as the situation with his wife was
really no better than mine, and had gone on for a significantly longer
period of time. He was never able to understand that Sabrina's presence
in my life was "designer" catalyst, designed to permanently instill
humility, patience and balance in the personality self.
Although I had been through other betrayals as well, it was less than a
week after I told him "the whole truth" that he sat me down in front of
his fireplace, told me that he was going to sabotage the book deal that
another author had offered me, (which he successfully did just hours
later,) and said that unless I omitted all references to RA from my
website entirely, (which would include the entire Convergence series as
well as all my readings and the Study Guide,) that I would no longer
have his support or even be welcome in his house. Certain
innocuous-sounding phrases that he had repeated to me throughout the
time I knew him suddenly made sickening sense: "Your work is for the
next generation, not for this one," et cetera, which translated into
"Your work isn't important now, it's too advanced, no one needs to know
this stuff, hence RA is only focused on useless data."
The whole reason why I had gone to his house in the first place was to
try to get away from the fierce catalyst that I was going through with
Sabrina, so I could actually work on my books, which was increasingly
impossible to do at "home." And yet as soon as he finished his 30-minute
character assassination, all the while with a smile on his face, I knew
I had to pack up the car and go home. I called Sabrina before I left,
and of course once I got back the problems only increased. She was VERY
disappointed that I returned home and impacted her "vacation" from me.
I do want say, strangely enough, that despite all the contentiousness in
our relationship, I was actually able to marginally improve the quality
of our interaction towards the end of our time together, though I never
was able to sleep next to her in the same bed or the same room for the
last two years of the relationship.
Hence, a severely dysfunctional relationship can be a great teacher, a
hero-maker if you will. Wave after wave after wave of "initiation" comes
to you until finally you "get it," that it was always about
self-respect, and it is only once your self-respect increases above a
critical threshold that you realize that you cannot stay with this
person any longer and you get the heck out.
Getting out of such a situation is crucial once you truly understand
that it was not meant to be permanent - it was meant to initiate you, so
that you would outgrow the other person. In most of these cases the
person does change, but the change is still so small in comparison to
your own shifts that you've settled for only the most marginal
improvements. Only once you get away from the "oppressor" do you realize
how tremendous it can be to be in a healthy environment, even if that
just means that you are by yourself. I know that this has been the case
for me.
Some people may choose to stay in such situations, and I do not fault
them if they do. Ultimately it is up to each person to discern whether
or not they are truly able to tolerate the way things are, RIGHT NOW,
without trying to change the person in any way. IF that is the case,
then stay in there. Otherwise, I would advise each of you to NOT expect
that the person will ever change. If you are "hanging on" hoping for
improvement, then it is probably a futile effort, and when you are
ready, your own process of Ascension will involve cutting loose the ties
that bind. To me, the recently-posted dream of Serenidade Sabia sounds
like such an example.
____
ZETA TALK
So, in contrast to my own experiences, I would have to imagine that
someone like Leider has remained largely insulated from others on a
personal level throughout her career. As RA says, to live alone is to
live without mirrors. In such an environment, great distortions of
personality can arise if your sole contact with the "outside world" is
an endless trickle-feed of ego-boosting email, which erupted into a
river of catalyst as the doomsday date got closer and closer.
The aggressive marketing of this date by many others, especially
Hazelwood, also had a lot to do with the sudden uptick of publicity. As
a result of Hazelwood effectively becoming Coast to Coast AM's most
prominent website advertiser for a good year or more, it was rather
obvious that Leider would be featured on the show. This is especially
true in the wake of Art's absence, since he never took kindly to
channelers... both times I was on his show I was forbidden to mention
that I had done such intuitive work myself.
Anyway, there is no doubt that when a person is in contact with negative
entities, even if they do not realize that they are, their lives will
continue to deconstruct further and further. There are other lies that
could be told for why the date came and went, and a number of the ones
that I and others had anticipated were actually far better alibis than
what she actually came up with, ( ! ) though none of them are
acceptable. I'll not list them here for obvious reasons - they might
replace the current ones....
Well, all right then, here's the one example I expected the most...
"Hooray! Divine Intervention! At the 11th hour, 59th minute and 59th
second, the Zetas took pity on humanity and used their incredible ships
of Light to deflect the menacing Planet X. Praise the Lord! We're saved!
Party hearty rock and roll, drink Jack Daniels, smoke a bowl!" (Sorry,
couldn't resist... my apologies to those of you with no sense of
humor... :)
The main claim to legitimacy that Leider seems to continue to wield
involves going along with the bandwagon that says, ultimately, "Yes,
ancient sources such as the Bible said that the end times would feature
earth changes, and now they're here." Except that instead of giving
credit to the Bible or to Cayce or otherwise, she uses any instance of
Earth Changes as an excuse to support only ONE hypothesis - her own.
Hence, anything strange that happens here is "proof" for "the prophecies
of the Zetas." And yet, the most crucial litmus test of proof for this
hypothesis has failed - the planet did not arrive as scheduled. Already,
such claims have led to the planet behaving in totally non-Newtonian
ways that defy all known laws of physics.
I think that the delusion has become so deep now that she really, truly
believes that the planet is so close as to "compete with the Sun at high
noon", not realizing that ALL of these claims are similar to that known
as the "Zeigarnik effect." I heard about this one in Psychology of
Perception. When people stare at a star long enough, hoping that they
are going to see a UFO, the star will begin appearing to move around in
its position, sometimes quite rapidly. The effect is so consistent and
reliable that it was scientifically studied and verified.
Similarly, between those who deliberately hoax their images and with
others who look through a telescope and think that anything round they
see is a validation of Leider's Planet X theory, it is possible for this
delusion to have become fact in her mind. This is when it really gets
dangerous - as Rudolf Steiner advises in "How to Know Higher Worlds,"
you should ALWAYS remain skeptical of your own intuitive data, no matter
what... never fall into numbed complacency with your own apparent
accuracy.
We do sincerely have a transformation going on in the Solar System, but
since Leider's contact was not authentic, (or more exactly, because she
did not absorb enough of the Law of One material before stealing some of
its terminology and calling it her own back in 1995,) she never grasped
or understood the sections of the Law of One that discussed how this was
an energetic transformation.
Now to conclude, I have had some of my own heavy-duty catalyst going on
here... namely a condition cropped up wherein my right eardrum has
gotten inflamed, causing my hearing to become hyper-sensitive on that
side. Even the sound of the toilet flushing right now is like breaking
glass. Since the right side is the service-to-others side, I realized
that this had something to do with not wanting to listen to others'
requests, so that in effect they become deafening so as to get my
attention. I realized this morning that even though I had a discussion
about my catalyst in not overblowing the ego, I was still clinging to
the enforced silence of my dysfunctional relationship, and thus not
truly providing any information to back up my point.
For those of you who do enjoy reading my personal data, I hope that this
has provided you with additional catalyst. For my part, I do want to try
to be more loving in dealing with future cases like this. If I cannot be
of service in how I respond, then I should simply withdraw from
participating at all, even if it does create quite a stir on the list as
people dive in to defend me, et cetera. Jeremy and I are working on an
amended set of guidelines to the list so as to hopefully induce greater
harmony and cooperation, with greater clarity in the ways in which the
guidelines are spelled out.
Peace be with you -
- David
Before someone else updates me, let me say that I did realize that the
Zeta Talk site is still operational at its original URL - the other site
is simply a mirror site for the UK.
Upon re-reading Leider's latest message from my latest "Zeta Talk"
thread, the dangers of becoming an "Internet Messiah / Prophet of Doom"
are all too evident. As we all know, in about a one-month cycle we get
someone coming on here and accusing me of having a "huge ego," for any
number of reasons, some apparently more well-meaning than others,
Kandrah being an example in this category. And I'm sure that if he's
still here, he'd probably say that I'm "defending my public image" in
this email, as I cannot really make ANY comments to this list without
SOMEONE taking offense. Nonetheless, the confluence of Leider's
statement with our own recent brouhaha has me thinking of additional
data that relates to both issues, the similarities and differences
thereof.
Anyway, I've so far held back on making any comparisons, but there is a
time to be silent and a time to speak. The Planet X issue IS of
importance, as it has significantly polarized a good portion of the
relatively small number of people who are actively following these
issues. And now that Leider has called her own end-date a "white lie"
and left it to "anything goes, and all other dates are fraudulent,"
obviously including anything pertaining to the Mayan Calendar, we're in
for a long ride. NOW is the time to be positive spiritual activists, to
show that the changes are real and still on time, but the explanation
for them has nothing to do with Planet X, which does indeed exist though
is not on an Earth-intercept course, Sitchin notwithstanding.
I've still not been willing to write a full rebuttal of this theory on a
purely scientific basis, but now that the date has come and gone, the
time is soon arriving where this will be necessary. It's more effective
to write such an article after the prophecy has failed, as now most of
its legitimacy has been emptied.
As Strieber wrote in his own recent article, the Planet X crew (led by
Leider) has effectively taken ANYTHING that happens remotely related to
earth changes, astrophysics or politics and somehow tied it in with the
Planet X issue. Upon reading the "White Lie" again, it is easy to see
the exaggerated sense of self-importance that she is feeling. If I
behaved with even 10% as much self-aggrandizement as her website has
been showing since she got on Art Bell, I would have lost any legitimacy
that I might have otherwise had, and would undoubtedly suffer
financially as well, since no one would want a reading from me.
Again, in reading her articles, everything that is happening in the
world, whether it is the raising of the alert status to orange or
otherwise, centers around her world, her publicity, her prophecy, her
appearances on Coast to Coast AM. In psychology this is called
'Narcissistic Personality Disorder.' In this case it is the end-product
of someone's ego being inflated by relatively significant public
attention, without the support structures in place for someone trusted
and loved to come along, face to face, and say, "You're way out of line
here."
MY OWN CATALYST
I do not doubt for a moment that the POTENTIAL could exist for someone
in my position, looking just like EC with the same natal astrology and
doing similarly accurate readings, to become a megalomaniac. However, as
a result of a strictly imposed "Curtain of Silence" over my former
relationship, no one was truly aware of just HOW FAR the higher self had
gone to insure that this never happen; indeed, it would appear to be
almost an over-correction, but hindsight is 20/20, and it did take me a
LONG time to figure out what was going on. I have been hammered so hard
these last 4 years that I have to laugh in amazement when someone lobs
these accusations at me. Hence I say, DUDE, YOU REALLY DO NOT KNOW ME,
THOUGH YOU THINK YOU DO. So here I will share some more of my process,
hopefully bridging that gap a little bit more.
I do want to make it clear that the Higher Self has carefully set up the
game so that every "Real Person" I interacted with day to day would
smash any pedestal that I might even imagine would exist under me. I
believe that it is time to start taking the walls of secrecy down and
for the first time begin honestly communicating what I experienced in my
relationship, which I only broke out of this past February. Again, by
her own request at the time, I was strictly forbidden from disclosing
even the most transient details of what was going on... I didn't even
talk about her nearly dying from a car accident until six months later,
for example. Just think about that. Think about all the ego food /
financial love offerings I could have gotten by making a big dramatic
announcement on the website. Yet, nothing... I processed it alone.
I met Sabrina before my website ever went online - right around the time
that I first finished an earlier draft of the Shift of the Ages. So, our
patterns got established before I ever had any 'success' as defined by
publicity and attention. Throughout the time I was with her, my work was
always of secondary importance in our relationship - better off
discussed as little as possible. Hardly ever did we have a conversation
about my having been Edgar Cayce, for example. I didn't dare read her a
positive email that I got from anyone as she would automatically accuse
me of self-aggrandizing.
In the early days she refused to act like she knew me when we would go
to the ARE or Heritage store - we literally would have to go our
separate ways and do separate checkouts in case someone 'recognized' me.
This caused quite a disagreement between us on New Year's Eve 1999, when
she refused to even acknowledge me at a distance more than with quick
eye contact after she had invited me to go to the ARE with her for the
New Year's celebration. The reasons behind her reversal that night were
never quite clear - she said that there were "people around" who she
hadn't expected would be there. I had been home filling emergency
bottles of water before a hypothetical y2k power blackout, so I didn't
get there until about 11PM. I chose to be VERY hurt at the time by her
overt dismissal of me after having invited me to go.
Apparently she had friends there and she did not want them to know that
she had any connection with Wilcock. And the majority of them never did,
except for a circle of no more than 5 people who actually visited our
house on any regular basis.
When any of those 5 "couple friends" people came along, (and the
majority of the time it was one couple, who later broke up,) over time I
was essentially taught not to start any conversation, as I was told that
once I started talking about my work it 'consumed the energy' in the
house, which translated into her not being the focus of attention. (One
notable exception to the rule was when Dr. Izumoto came to visit - he
was my one friend who she had no stake in trying to control my behavior
with.) So, by the end of our relationship, I would deliberately try to
avoid conversation, divert questions, et cetera, as if I answered a
question with any proficiency the accusations would fly as soon as the
guest/s left the house.
In such an environment, if I had even the SLIGHTEST pride in what I did,
I got shot down. Any one-on-one private couple discussion of my
scientific data or of occult / Illuminati politics was strictly
forbidden if it lasted more than 5 minutes, so she never truly
understood "the big picture" of what I was doing and its background.
Some of you core people will remember how she camped OUTSIDE the room
when our Time of Global Shift tour was going on in Louisville - even
bare walls were more exciting.
Please understand that despite all of these things (and believe me, I'm
still just describing the very tip of the iceberg,) I loved her. In
fact, as I now see it, my problem was that I loved her MORE than I loved
myself. She had two major goals in life, as far as I could tell, perhaps
three. The most intense goal was to become an overwhelmingly popular
music star, and to then use that hypothetical influence to become a
spiritual teacher for the world. (Only under rigorous cross-examination
would I get her to admit that she longed for the wealth and apparent
glory that such a career would provide.) The second goal was to become
famous as a laboratory-tested psychic with high accuracy. Admittedly,
she did have extremely advanced intuitive capabilities, which definitely
exceeded my own in certain areas.
I would try endlessly to tell her that one should pursue music or
psychic ability purely from a platform of service to others and joy in
the work, without expectation of return. And my line about any
hypothetical success in the music industry was one that I had heard
endlessly from my mother: "First you've got to be the best, then you've
got to win the lottery." My first and only other girlfriend, Yumi, also
had a desire for fame, although in her case it was to be a world-class
hairstylist in Paris.
So, over the first three years of time, our relationship steadily
worsened a and degraded as she saw more and more of what she thought she
wanted for herself happening to me, even though it was only a fraction
of the life that she had envisioned for herself. One could say that this
was a form of jealousy, though I never once dared to use that word or
concept in an argument.
This situation produced enormous catalyst for me to come out with many
readings regarding how to solve relationship problems. In fact, this
catalyst was probably 95% responsible for my realization of the concept
that we must learn to see everything as simply an experience, and that
we only CHOOSE to label it as suffering. I was constantly being
challenged not to CHOOSE to see my life as endless suffering at the
hands of another loved one.
As I have written elsewhere, I had a successive series of betrayals
after moving to Virginia Beach, the final major one occurring just AFTER
I had been through the hand injury, six months after Sabrina got hit by
a car and nearly passed away. This person had been financially
supporting me, and the only time I got work done was when I drove to his
house. The first major visit completed Convergence III in spring 2001,
and the second major visit hacked away at Divine Cosmos in spring 2002.
Anyway, it was at that second visit where I opened up and gave a
tell-all to what was really going on behind the scenes in my
relationship.
This turned out to be the crucial breaking-point in our relationship, as
he felt that any source that told me to stay with Sabrina had to be a
negative entity, based on her behavior. This was definitely a projection
of his own dissatisfaction with self, as the situation with his wife was
really no better than mine, and had gone on for a significantly longer
period of time. He was never able to understand that Sabrina's presence
in my life was "designer" catalyst, designed to permanently instill
humility, patience and balance in the personality self.
Although I had been through other betrayals as well, it was less than a
week after I told him "the whole truth" that he sat me down in front of
his fireplace, told me that he was going to sabotage the book deal that
another author had offered me, (which he successfully did just hours
later,) and said that unless I omitted all references to RA from my
website entirely, (which would include the entire Convergence series as
well as all my readings and the Study Guide,) that I would no longer
have his support or even be welcome in his house. Certain
innocuous-sounding phrases that he had repeated to me throughout the
time I knew him suddenly made sickening sense: "Your work is for the
next generation, not for this one," et cetera, which translated into
"Your work isn't important now, it's too advanced, no one needs to know
this stuff, hence RA is only focused on useless data."
The whole reason why I had gone to his house in the first place was to
try to get away from the fierce catalyst that I was going through with
Sabrina, so I could actually work on my books, which was increasingly
impossible to do at "home." And yet as soon as he finished his 30-minute
character assassination, all the while with a smile on his face, I knew
I had to pack up the car and go home. I called Sabrina before I left,
and of course once I got back the problems only increased. She was VERY
disappointed that I returned home and impacted her "vacation" from me.
I do want say, strangely enough, that despite all the contentiousness in
our relationship, I was actually able to marginally improve the quality
of our interaction towards the end of our time together, though I never
was able to sleep next to her in the same bed or the same room for the
last two years of the relationship.
Hence, a severely dysfunctional relationship can be a great teacher, a
hero-maker if you will. Wave after wave after wave of "initiation" comes
to you until finally you "get it," that it was always about
self-respect, and it is only once your self-respect increases above a
critical threshold that you realize that you cannot stay with this
person any longer and you get the heck out.
Getting out of such a situation is crucial once you truly understand
that it was not meant to be permanent - it was meant to initiate you, so
that you would outgrow the other person. In most of these cases the
person does change, but the change is still so small in comparison to
your own shifts that you've settled for only the most marginal
improvements. Only once you get away from the "oppressor" do you realize
how tremendous it can be to be in a healthy environment, even if that
just means that you are by yourself. I know that this has been the case
for me.
Some people may choose to stay in such situations, and I do not fault
them if they do. Ultimately it is up to each person to discern whether
or not they are truly able to tolerate the way things are, RIGHT NOW,
without trying to change the person in any way. IF that is the case,
then stay in there. Otherwise, I would advise each of you to NOT expect
that the person will ever change. If you are "hanging on" hoping for
improvement, then it is probably a futile effort, and when you are
ready, your own process of Ascension will involve cutting loose the ties
that bind. To me, the recently-posted dream of Serenidade Sabia sounds
like such an example.
____
ZETA TALK
So, in contrast to my own experiences, I would have to imagine that
someone like Leider has remained largely insulated from others on a
personal level throughout her career. As RA says, to live alone is to
live without mirrors. In such an environment, great distortions of
personality can arise if your sole contact with the "outside world" is
an endless trickle-feed of ego-boosting email, which erupted into a
river of catalyst as the doomsday date got closer and closer.
The aggressive marketing of this date by many others, especially
Hazelwood, also had a lot to do with the sudden uptick of publicity. As
a result of Hazelwood effectively becoming Coast to Coast AM's most
prominent website advertiser for a good year or more, it was rather
obvious that Leider would be featured on the show. This is especially
true in the wake of Art's absence, since he never took kindly to
channelers... both times I was on his show I was forbidden to mention
that I had done such intuitive work myself.
Anyway, there is no doubt that when a person is in contact with negative
entities, even if they do not realize that they are, their lives will
continue to deconstruct further and further. There are other lies that
could be told for why the date came and went, and a number of the ones
that I and others had anticipated were actually far better alibis than
what she actually came up with, ( ! ) though none of them are
acceptable. I'll not list them here for obvious reasons - they might
replace the current ones....
Well, all right then, here's the one example I expected the most...
"Hooray! Divine Intervention! At the 11th hour, 59th minute and 59th
second, the Zetas took pity on humanity and used their incredible ships
of Light to deflect the menacing Planet X. Praise the Lord! We're saved!
Party hearty rock and roll, drink Jack Daniels, smoke a bowl!" (Sorry,
couldn't resist... my apologies to those of you with no sense of
humor... :)
The main claim to legitimacy that Leider seems to continue to wield
involves going along with the bandwagon that says, ultimately, "Yes,
ancient sources such as the Bible said that the end times would feature
earth changes, and now they're here." Except that instead of giving
credit to the Bible or to Cayce or otherwise, she uses any instance of
Earth Changes as an excuse to support only ONE hypothesis - her own.
Hence, anything strange that happens here is "proof" for "the prophecies
of the Zetas." And yet, the most crucial litmus test of proof for this
hypothesis has failed - the planet did not arrive as scheduled. Already,
such claims have led to the planet behaving in totally non-Newtonian
ways that defy all known laws of physics.
I think that the delusion has become so deep now that she really, truly
believes that the planet is so close as to "compete with the Sun at high
noon", not realizing that ALL of these claims are similar to that known
as the "Zeigarnik effect." I heard about this one in Psychology of
Perception. When people stare at a star long enough, hoping that they
are going to see a UFO, the star will begin appearing to move around in
its position, sometimes quite rapidly. The effect is so consistent and
reliable that it was scientifically studied and verified.
Similarly, between those who deliberately hoax their images and with
others who look through a telescope and think that anything round they
see is a validation of Leider's Planet X theory, it is possible for this
delusion to have become fact in her mind. This is when it really gets
dangerous - as Rudolf Steiner advises in "How to Know Higher Worlds,"
you should ALWAYS remain skeptical of your own intuitive data, no matter
what... never fall into numbed complacency with your own apparent
accuracy.
We do sincerely have a transformation going on in the Solar System, but
since Leider's contact was not authentic, (or more exactly, because she
did not absorb enough of the Law of One material before stealing some of
its terminology and calling it her own back in 1995,) she never grasped
or understood the sections of the Law of One that discussed how this was
an energetic transformation.
Now to conclude, I have had some of my own heavy-duty catalyst going on
here... namely a condition cropped up wherein my right eardrum has
gotten inflamed, causing my hearing to become hyper-sensitive on that
side. Even the sound of the toilet flushing right now is like breaking
glass. Since the right side is the service-to-others side, I realized
that this had something to do with not wanting to listen to others'
requests, so that in effect they become deafening so as to get my
attention. I realized this morning that even though I had a discussion
about my catalyst in not overblowing the ego, I was still clinging to
the enforced silence of my dysfunctional relationship, and thus not
truly providing any information to back up my point.
For those of you who do enjoy reading my personal data, I hope that this
has provided you with additional catalyst. For my part, I do want to try
to be more loving in dealing with future cases like this. If I cannot be
of service in how I respond, then I should simply withdraw from
participating at all, even if it does create quite a stir on the list as
people dive in to defend me, et cetera. Jeremy and I are working on an
amended set of guidelines to the list so as to hopefully induce greater
harmony and cooperation, with greater clarity in the ways in which the
guidelines are spelled out.
Peace be with you -
- David