The Rant

[Paul Kandrah]

it would seem that in a place of oneness that we would have people
working together for some common purpose. and yet we see, so
commonly, people caught up in their own vision of the world and
missing these opportunities to connect with people. i do this as
much as anybody. this is a rant about gatekeepers.

descartes was a man who detested being around people. he moved to
amsterdam just to be away from them, to gain the anonymity that
would allow him the peace that he required to dream. he loved to
dream, to stay in bed and think, not knowing if he is awake or
asleep. all of his work was accomplished in the air of this
solitary dream.

but what was descartes avoiding really? garbage in, garbage out,
probably. the world that he walked in - as it is with much of the
world today - was caught up in trivialities: trinket driven. there
was no soul to connect to, at least that could be readily seen.
descartes did not look for the genius in others because he was
concerned for his own dream. it was the only way he knew to find
the truth.

arrogance can blind the truth.

ask david w. a question and he tells you his life story. interview
with spectrum, 8/17/99.

"i started to participate on richard hoagland's message board?the
enterprise mission message board?and wrote a lot of articles and
actually captured his attention enough that we got into several
debates. after richard hoagland's message board started to fold up,
which occurred in november of 1996, i realized that i had to direct
my creative energies into my own work and not into someone else's
message board."

intent. it speaks for everything. motivation can tell the truth.

"i became aware of the fact that every morning i could wake up and
just start listening. i would be getting messages from a very high
spiritual source, and it completely changed my life. they
immediately started to talk about my diet needs and my personal
needs. i had a very different agenda."

"i wanted to ask them about ufo information. i wanted to ask them
about research-oriented questions. their agenda was much more along
the lines of telling me: "look, there's a lot of things about
yourself that we need to fix. there's a lot of personal issues that
you have to resolve." so, it was pretty interesting that, here i
thought i was contacting extraterrestrials and was going to get all
this cosmic information, and they end up being, basically, like my
psychotherapist!"

david w. is a gatekeeper. he has caught the bug. he is driven by
the need to belong to the society at large, to have the scientific
community let him in, let his knowledge in, and in so doing forgets
about his self. he holds the keys within his capability, the door
is in front of him, and yet he is held back by this simple need to
fit in "out there". and he carries his emotional strings dragging
on the ground.

because of this david w. is easily controllable. all it takes
really is simply a little push. just put him down in some way,
especially in the eyes of others, and see how it affects him. see
how he squirms, stings. and for what? for an image. for some self-
important image of needing to be special, to be accepted... looked
up to even. does he not see how insignificant this all is?

does he squirm now? why? who am i to do this? i am nothing.

push the world away my king. stand on your pedestal.

we live in a world of oneness and yet we consistently stand apart.
we walk the streets in anonymity. we avoid eye contact just because
of the trouble it would cause. and we do so to keep some semblance
of a center within ourselves that we know is so tender, just
because. just because we were raised that way. just because we
don't know how. just because we doubt. we live in a world of
separation just because we are weak. just because we do not have
the courage to stand up... naked without image. and so we
compensate. "if others would only look up to me then i will as
well."

we live in a world of oneness and yet we deny it. we do have to
make a name for ourselves, right david w.? we have to be special...
to have power. read "the 48 laws of power" then, to discover what
this really means. discover where you are going to be challenged.

ra does not ask you to be a gatekeeper, i am sure. this is what you
have chosen for yourself. a channel. there are many ways to
commune with higher intelligence and be as effective as you are.
but you will have to die inside to get there. you will have to
break through this society begotten barrier that you still dream
of. self-importance. petty knowledge. names upon a wall. of what
import is it in the end for anybody really who is planning on
ascending? what you have created is a portal only, a beacon really,
like the red glowing sign that says "exit". how can we trust when
you will not step through and give it all up yourself? no need for
trust in you, true. but we are still sorry to not see you come
through... too...

you knew this was coming, and yet you still avoided it.

we love you.

find the real reason you are here.

look around you.

see what is real in your heart and let the rest go.

connect.

connect.

connect as one.

(if you know effort is futile do you act anyway?)



paul kandrah
(green ray man)

[Lesley Schultz]

dear paul:

once again i'm floored by your wisdom. wow. i'll even
say that backwards: wow!!

<snip>
> david w. is a gatekeeper. he has caught the bug.
> he is driven by
> the need to belong to the society at large, to have
> the scientific
> community let him in, let his knowledge in, and in
> so doing forgets
> about his self. he holds the keys within his
> capability, the door
> is in front of him, and yet he is held back by this
> simple need to
> fit in "out there". and he carries his emotional
> strings dragging
> on the ground.
>
ls: okay, lots of stuff here that i won't touch but i
will say this: david turns 30 this year. it doesn't
matter that he is a part of ra, in 6th density. he
still lives here, on this plane, at this time, trying
to perform service the best way he knows how. his
existence on this level is informed by the knowledge
and experience he has right here and right now. 30
years is not enough time to have learned much more
than a) you do not know everything and b) maybe with
application, patience and a little luck you would be
worth something someday, in service and love. [i can
write this because i'm 11 years older than david and
can see my 30th year clearly in the rear view mirror.]

3d is not the plane of wisdom. neither is 4d for that
matter. sometimes we are not wise or strong...ever
screw up, paul? i don't know him very well, but the
vulnerability you're writing about is probably the
only thing helping him keep both feet on the ground.
the ways of love require us to embrace our emotions
and offer our hearts, even if it doesn't look "cool."

snip> because of this david w. is easily controllable.

> all it takes
> really is simply a little push. just put him down
> in some way,
> especially in the eyes of others, and see how it
> affects him. see
> how he squirms, stings. and for what? for an
> image. for some self-
> important image of needing to be special, to be
> accepted... looked
> up to even. does he not see how insignificant this
> all is?
>
>ls:> paul, like i said, he is young and possess no
phd in physics. there's no way you can be a human
being and not feel a little intimidated by people who
have studied your field much longer than you and have
the social approbition of lots of little letters after
their name. among the scientists he may talk with, he
is actually not much more than a highly gifted
amateur, and he knows it. it doesn't matter that a
lot of what they know is outdated and not accurate.


if david talks with other new age folks in an
interview , that's no guarantee of a friendly audience
there either because there's a pecking order there
too. it's inevitable in 3d. in any group there is a
hierarchy, even one like this. sometimes they're
strong and stratified, other times loose and more
lateral, but there is one. in the area he's in, doing
what he's doing, he stands pretty much alone and this
is hard when you're trying to talk spirituality.
spirituality often has to be practised in large groups
publically or, historically, it is worth nothing.
what has david got, but about 500 people on a list.
put yourself in his shoes. i know you can do that
much better than me because you're smarter than i am.



> push the world away my king. stand on your
> pedestal.

<snip> well, this is the second time in two weeks
that someone has alluded to david that he might be
king. i sent him a link to a website with hilarious
diaries from the lotr characters, among them aragorn.
aragorn is continually observing that he isn't king
yet and all the other characters note how much he
whines about it. it's all in fun, of course, and it's
only because the books and the movies take themselves
so seriously that the diaries are hysterically funny.
i wonder if dw is feeling a little persecuted. i know
for a fact that he doesn't want to be king. he does
not want that job. even jesus christ wouldn't take it,
so why would david?

paul, once again you amaze me. and now that i've
shocked everyone else, i think i'll go crawl under my
desk now.

love, light, peace, blessings and joy,
~lesley



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[waterflame5]

--- in asc2k@yahoogroups.com (/group/asc2k/post?postid=xkqjs3ceq7pivj1dyvs-esamsdoambj16sl_7zwc5qfvkj667-ob2gk51ok64io-xe0unrljji5xpsmfqtea), "paul kandrah" <essent321@y...> wrote:
> it would seem that in a place of oneness that we would have people
> working together for some common purpose. and yet we see, so
> commonly, people caught up in their own vision of the world and
> missing these opportunities to connect with people. i do this as
> much as anybody. this is a rant about gatekeepers.
> ...
> (if you know effort is futile do you act anyway?)
> paul kandrah
> (green ray man)

sorry, don't read every post so i'm a bit ignorant
as to the context here. but i think related to this
is a yogic principle of non-striving, not grasping;
finding contentment with who you are and where you
are ~ not to be complacent about it, but content.
and through that contentment comes acceptance which
relates to love and growing from that place of love
as opposed to forcing things in a more goal directed
way. if you can appreciate the nuances here you
would find it very counter-culture, sadly.
connectingly, pat

[Susan]

hello paul (and lesley),
about a year ago erik strasser laid down the law on the evils of gambling,
insisting with a vengance that there was no place in anyones life for any
form of gambling. it turned out that he was actually addressing his own
issues; his own addiction to gambling which he was desparately trying to
overcome. it occurs to me that these issues you are trying to pin on david
might actually be your own.
john dekker.

----- original message -----
from: "paul kandrah" <essent321@... (/group/asc2k/post?postid=wa8myghtyulzmwyybri0t1bfqglrlvf3hah2th qifo5m6b0n6ezcurm9bsidgs4kzhijtqbyu-qu)>
to: <asc2k@yahoogroups.com (/group/asc2k/post?postid=wwhe7n0i736usxztkzokba76krip0tuowr2kn6 evgtbj_dtl-ydgnrodld8hbu7kybcd24i7goz7babs)>
sent: friday, may 23, 2003 5:05 pm
subject: [asc2k] the rant


it would seem that in a place of oneness that we would have people
working together for some common purpose. and yet we see, so
commonly, people caught up in their own vision of the world and
missing these opportunities to connect with people. i do this as
much as anybody. this is a rant about gatekeepers.

descartes was a man who detested being around people. he moved to
amsterdam just to be away from them, to gain the anonymity that
would allow him the peace that he required to dream. he loved to
dream, to stay in bed and think, not knowing if he is awake or
asleep. all of his work was accomplished in the air of this
solitary dream.

but what was descartes avoiding really? garbage in, garbage out,
probably. the world that he walked in - as it is with much of the
world today - was caught up in trivialities: trinket driven. there
was no soul to connect to, at least that could be readily seen.
descartes did not look for the genius in others because he was
concerned for his own dream. it was the only way he knew to find
the truth.

arrogance can blind the truth.

ask david w. a question and he tells you his life story. interview
with spectrum, 8/17/99.

"i started to participate on richard hoagland's message board-the
enterprise mission message board-and wrote a lot of articles and
actually captured his attention enough that we got into several
debates. after richard hoagland's message board started to fold up,
which occurred in november of 1996, i realized that i had to direct
my creative energies into my own work and not into someone else's
message board."

intent. it speaks for everything. motivation can tell the truth.

"i became aware of the fact that every morning i could wake up and
just start listening. i would be getting messages from a very high
spiritual source, and it completely changed my life. they
immediately started to talk about my diet needs and my personal
needs. i had a very different agenda."

"i wanted to ask them about ufo information. i wanted to ask them
about research-oriented questions. their agenda was much more along
the lines of telling me: "look, there's a lot of things about
yourself that we need to fix. there's a lot of personal issues that
you have to resolve." so, it was pretty interesting that, here i
thought i was contacting extraterrestrials and was going to get all
this cosmic information, and they end up being, basically, like my
psychotherapist!"

david w. is a gatekeeper. he has caught the bug. he is driven by
the need to belong to the society at large, to have the scientific
community let him in, let his knowledge in, and in so doing forgets
about his self. he holds the keys within his capability, the door
is in front of him, and yet he is held back by this simple need to
fit in "out there". and he carries his emotional strings dragging
on the ground.

because of this david w. is easily controllable. all it takes
really is simply a little push. just put him down in some way,
especially in the eyes of others, and see how it affects him. see
how he squirms, stings. and for what? for an image. for some self-
important image of needing to be special, to be accepted... looked
up to even. does he not see how insignificant this all is?

does he squirm now? why? who am i to do this? i am nothing.

push the world away my king. stand on your pedestal.

we live in a world of oneness and yet we consistently stand apart.
we walk the streets in anonymity. we avoid eye contact just because
of the trouble it would cause. and we do so to keep some semblance
of a center within ourselves that we know is so tender, just
because. just because we were raised that way. just because we
don't know how. just because we doubt. we live in a world of
separation just because we are weak. just because we do not have
the courage to stand up... naked without image. and so we
compensate. "if others would only look up to me then i will as
well."

we live in a world of oneness and yet we deny it. we do have to
make a name for ourselves, right david w.? we have to be special...
to have power. read "the 48 laws of power" then, to discover what
this really means. discover where you are going to be challenged.

ra does not ask you to be a gatekeeper, i am sure. this is what you
have chosen for yourself. a channel. there are many ways to
commune with higher intelligence and be as effective as you are.
but you will have to die inside to get there. you will have to
break through this society begotten barrier that you still dream
of. self-importance. petty knowledge. names upon a wall. of what
import is it in the end for anybody really who is planning on
ascending? what you have created is a portal only, a beacon really,
like the red glowing sign that says "exit". how can we trust when
you will not step through and give it all up yourself? no need for
trust in you, true. but we are still sorry to not see you come
through... too...

you knew this was coming, and yet you still avoided it.

we love you.

find the real reason you are here.

look around you.

see what is real in your heart and let the rest go.

connect.

connect.

connect as one.

(if you know effort is futile do you act anyway?)



paul kandrah
(green ray man)





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[Lesley Schultz]

dear susan:

--- susan <sdekker@... (/group/asc2k/post?postid=wteuvd9larbfgay0xesxd6g-m5o-gmngbysonhremdwcthks_mnlgyysnqozu7jq8frjpo0tmgmzhp mhtis)> wrote:
>snip> it occurs to me that these issues you are
> trying to pin on david
> might actually be your own.

definitely true. my point was that david's doing his
best and we shouldn't critize someone until we've
walked a few miles in their moccasins. i wouldn't
want to perform his service for anything, as well
beyond me. i doubt that he would do what i've done in
service as often unglamourous and
close-your-eyes-and-think-of-england-type-service.
david has written very honestly about the kinds of
labor he's had to do in order to support himself and
his work, and how little it suited him. i'd bet money
he never cleaned toilets in the school he attended in
order to pay tuition, however.

that was a fine lesson in life that i will always be
grateful for. it taught me something about pride and
the kind of person it takes to be at the top of an
organizational pyramid, with very important things
that he or she is in charge of also. if such a one
treated you like a servant or a non-person, then you
knew that this person was out of touch with what being
the head of an organization really means. even the
kindest person and the best administrator can get
caught up in the hubris. i think maybe paul was
speaking about this.

would that that job had taught me patience, but i'm
beginning to think that that might be impossible.

mindfulness of who and what one is is a fiendishly
difficult job the further up you go. sometimes a
friendly reminder, given in the spirit of helpfulness,
is not a bad thing even if it might be [as it were]
the tub calling the sink white/pot calling the kettle
black.

each serves as best they may and all service is
important and honorable, worthy and necessary. even
humble, unappreciated and unappealing kinds.



__________________________________
do you yahoo!?
the new yahoo! search - faster. easier. bingo.
http://search.yahoo.com

[Erik Strasser]

hello paul (and lesley),
about a year ago erik strasser laid down the law on the evils of gambling,
insisting with a vengance that there was no place in anyones life for any
form of gambling. it turned out that he was actually addressing his own
issues; his own addiction to gambling which he was desparately trying to
overcome. it occurs to me that these issues you are trying to pin on david
might actually be your own.
john dekker.

es: i told you paul i would become a pain in your ass.
go figure :-)













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