Dark Night of the Soul

[queanant@...]

and you fidn that no matter how intensely you hurt, it does not kill, but
rather, cleanses empties, renews, and readies that instrument to be an eever
clearer, purer and brighter channel, for the light that must come through
into the world, not from you, but through you."

this to me is the joy of suffering, the bliss of pain...


yes! thanks
it is a very bittersweet expereince
only word i think of accurately to describe mine
bittersweet
im glad i got through it cause at first i had no idea what was going on and
wnated to throw my wh accross the room :) cause i was so angry that i was
sleeping witht he light on at 21
i was having crazy encrytped dreams and ruled off everything i was learning
cause i was sick of them
but i think my hs realized this since soon enough i was having dreams a 2
year old could understand
i think my hsgot frustrated and started talking to in laymans terms :)
it was like, ok you're soo not getting this, lets draw out a diagram,
ok big bird is god
elmo is you. .
sesame street is 3d
ok so not that layman, but you get the idea
but it made me realize i cant screw up to bad. . .i always get what i needed
to
maybe not at just the precise moment , but it comes and i can use it a next
moment that needs it
im remebering a quote:
experience is something that you recieve immediately after you could have
used it. :)
but there all always moments you face where what expereince you recieved is
called upon again.
ok i so just wrote a ridiculously long post
and after complaing for weeks i cant write more than a sentence
or read for that matter when last night i stayed up till 5 am reading
im baaaaacccckkkk
be afraid, be very afraid :)
peace out homies
-melissa


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[queanant@...]

ok so i am replying to my own email
is this allowed
is it legal?
are the asc2k feds going to come arrest me when i hit send?

just remebered a quote form carla after isent it
this quote inspired me more than anything i ever read

i find the thought that there are no mistakes very encouraging. it is so easy
to think of lost oppurtunities. but we always have a chance to express our
awareness of the truth. we may not mave the privelege of expressing it to
just the entity we had originally hoped to, but if all are seen as the
creator, we can express that truth to a new person with fond regards to those
we have been unable to express that truth to in our past

this one little quote jumpstarted my journey as i finally was able to forgive
ok no more blabbing posts
swear
kinda
peace out
-melissa


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[Tiffani Boswell]

melissa...i know you asked something about dark night of the soul...and i came
across this quote from the 3-15-98 transcript on llresearch.org

" it is to the person who is able to gaze upon the dark night of the
soul...with an indifferent eye but a full and wiling heart, that this process
may become easier. by releasing and yielding to your suffering by welcoming
that which must be suffered as a brother and as a sister, by offering the
hospitality of your life, your body, your mind, your strength, and your will to
this process, the heart is opened as if by magic, and you fidn that no matter
how intensely you hurt, it does not kill, but rather, cleanses empties, renews,
and readies that instrument to be an eever clearer, purer and brighter channel,
for the light that must come through into the world, not from you, but through
you."

this to me is the joy of suffering, the bliss of pain...

love,

tiffani


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[Tiffani Boswell]

> >melissa: ok i so just wrote a ridiculously long post
> > and after complaing for weeks i cant write more than a sentence
> > or read for that matter when last night i stayed up till 5 am reading
> > im baaaaacccckkkk
>
>
> tiffani: ok ... i was about to title that email that im
bbbbbbbbaaaaaaacccckkkkk
> exactly...we are on the same wave length deary...hey now...karen..you
> feeling any lighter today???
> chris anything weird going on with venus...cause i am getting the
> "inspired"vibe...better jump on this train while i can :)
>
> love,
> tiffani
>

[pschutzy]

i've heard that the journey from the head to the heart is a long one
and it has been my experience that it is both endless and instant.
at times it is so natural to be the creative being of light we are
and other times? well? i spiral around in the polarities.
currently i seem to be seated on a mental/emotional rollercoaster
and resting in the heart is not an option. i do briefly center in
the heart and then immediately am off again in the whirlwind of
thoughts and feelings. i know the light is there but for a reason
i can't seem to understand i'm unable to rest in it. it has also
been my past experience that when this energy does play itself out i
am deposited in utter exhaustion only to once again climb up out of
a dark depression.
i know this is a cycle and i will again find balance.

i found the march 16, 1997 message on ll research to be very helpful.
i was searching for the words "dark night of the soul".
http://www.llresearch.org/main.htm

"normally" i wouldn't mention any of this and just ride out the
confusion until i was once again in a more grounded spot and felt i
had something to offer others, but now i've come to realize even
during the dark night of the soul we are still creatures of the
divine, we are still one.
there is beauty in all. this i am learning when i give up the use of
my eyes.
i also "see" with a unique sensitivity while in the eye of the storm.
blessings
patty

[Shawn Bernal]

i too have been having very similar experiences, and think you have beautifully
described the process. i have personally come to believe that i have contracted
at higher levels to help transmute the "anger/frustration" energy of the world,
and thus am highly receptive to it. the biggest revelation to me (and within
the past year) has been that the energy is truly not mine, that i am still
centered in my being, but that i as a lightworker am helping to relieve a
tremendous energetic burden on this planet. thankfully, as you know, the
periods are brief (4-6 weeks max), and they seem to coincide with significant
events that occur on this planet (katrina created a huge frustration ball).
things that have helped me: being surrounded by beautiful and supportive
lightworkers, getting creative, getting physical (exercise or a similar outlet),
and consciously being aware of and holding my center. sometimes the last part
can be a bit tiring.
perhaps you too are helping too transmute a great amount of energy, and because
you may mistakenly think its your's, you try to solve it instead of letting it
flow through you and back out as the love energy it is.
whatever the case, i know that you will be intuitively and beautifully guided
through it.
blessings of love and light-
shawn

pschutzy <schutzy11@... (/group/asc2k/post?postid=-wjqbs9dmgsbzcxn7z1flu6e3-dw3udd0pci8fnhq3zgrhynrv7y1rnjc__oh2zd01hiqprloife kb8rgas0dq)> wrote:
i've heard that the journey from the head to the heart is a long one
and it has been my experience that it is both endless and instant.
at times it is so natural to be the creative being of light we are
and other times? well? i spiral around in the polarities.
currently i seem to be seated on a mental/emotional rollercoaster
and resting in the heart is not an option. i do briefly center in
the heart and then immediately am off again in the whirlwind of
thoughts and feelings. i know the light is there but for a reason
i can't seem to understand i'm unable to rest in it. it has also
been my past experience that when this energy does play itself out i
am deposited in utter exhaustion only to once again climb up out of
a dark depression.
i know this is a cycle and i will again find balance.



---------------------------------
yahoo! for good
click here to donate to the hurricane katrina relief effort.

[non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[pschutzy]

my apologies for not responding sooner.
after i posted, we had a rather unexpectedly heavy snow storm
resulting in no power for a couple of days. then i left town,
retreating into the mountains, and coming back yesterday. it was
interesting noticing the mental/emotional gymnastics during the
sudden peace and quiet of no electrical power in the city and
expecting it in the "wild".
anyway? dark night of the soul? one thing i'm learning is to relax
and create the atmosphere for expansion. my basic senses seem to be
more of a hindrance than a help. so if i just "sit in" what's
happening, "it" starts to become a companion instead of a fear or
distraction. then i am able to be more objective and distinguish
between the type(s) of energy(s).
our wonderful minds strive to label and categorize everything, and
of course once we know what's going on our emotions are sedated. the
unknown territory offers us expansion, creativity, and greater
awareness of unity.
the hard part is to let go of what i know "to be true" and become
more sensitive to greater truths allowing them to enter the barriers
i've set up to be "me". meditation, reading, discussion/interaction
with others and other life forms, relaxing with nature? quite an
adventure in our own backyard.

"?whatever the case, i know that you will be intuitively and
beautifully guided through it.
shawn"

yes, once i let go of what i know and follow my heart/intuition. i
learn.

"?now, i seek gracefulness. i am learning to hold the question,
continuously in my heart, "what am i creating?" i mean, with my
thoughts, with my imagination, with that to which i direct my
attention?
zee"

when i appear to be in that "dark spot", i do have the choice? am i
creating a greater prison or freedom? focused attention? what am i
doing with mine? grace? i cannot say i am generally gracefully in my
trials and errors of moving into greater awareness of light, but at
least i stumble forward.

thank you for the wisdom!
blessings and peace
patty

one quick note...
i've noticed in some posts the description of some books/authors
being more difficult to read than others. i have two experiences to
share. when reading the ra material, i don't always understand but
do feel a sense of peace and love that i cherish more than the
words. secondly, a while ago (on another site) the alice bailey
books were being mentioned. someone suggested to me that "easier
reading" material might be more appropriate for someone "at my
stage". as a result, when i immediately started reading the books,
my focus was much greater than would have been otherwise and i
understood what was important for me to understand at that time.