what can i say or do, besides apologizing again..

[Erik Strasser]

david, i am going nuts.

my alcohol problem is making me do these things.
perhaps i should unsubscribe, for i am only causing you and myself lotsa
problems. ( me the most ofcourse)
i woke up and feeled ashamed. why is this happening to me? i want to be good,
not bad..
why is it that the one person i love so much is getting all this bull**** from
me?
am i struck between good and evil? its like both sides are attracting me and
battleling for me.


i am so sorry david, i dont know what to say or do anymore other than stop
posting and stop drinking.

but all these wonderfull posts i dont want to loose.
i have a feeling if i unsubscribe i am lost for this life.
somehow i must gain the strenght to pull my act together.
i know i was brought into this life sts and very evil, bad.
i also know that it doest make me feel good and i dont want to polarise to sts.
my energies are lost every day and i dont know what side i am on anymore.

this all is a lesson and perhaps its bottoming right now. but that you must be
involved in my strugle...
david, i really am sorry. i love you and all the others very much.

i came to your side by guidiance, i now it for sure... my quest was the truth
and i got it. it did set me free, but also on the loose.
i cannot unsubscribe because i feel that if i do i am choosing sts and will not
recover. my choice is sto but i am nowhere near you and perhaps not even worth
your love.

group and david, i am a drunk and i feel ashamed.
i know i love you all, please forgive me.

o boy, this life, this lesson is hitting me very hard!



erik.


[non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[queanant@...]

in a message dated 10/18/02 11:19:43 am central daylight time,
e.strasser@... (/group/asc2k/post?postid=fbnmymdgtikdzp-vvsocjuen-nxmuwykmmcfkuwhpzhtguu4buslxflzwunlqahnnwjjsyyakut dgz4n34qw) writes:


> .
>

>i came to your side by guidiance, i know it for sure... my quest was the
truth and i >got it. it did set me free, but also on the loose.

can anyone else feel this as their once reality? cause it is mine also. .
.now . . .



[non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Johnny]

--- in asc2k@y..., "erik strasser" <e.strasser@w...> wrote:
> my alcohol problem is making me do these things.

i had numerous personal relationships mixed with alcohol, until i saw
a discouraging pattern & stopped drinking socially. in my encounters,
the person(s) i cared for gradually would lose control over time...
your effort to change is encouraging; if interested, i'd like to help.

how devoted are you to the effort to change self? do you take stock
of your daily activity schedule, diet, meditation, exercise, etc, &
look at ways you can access the love & personal power of the creator
that's within you, & look at how the power of this group could help?

> perhaps i should unsubscribe, for i am only causing you and myself
lotsa problems. ( me the most ofcourse)

you already demonstrated that you know what to do, if/when you
slip/fall along the way.

> group and david, i am a drunk and i feel ashamed.
> i know i love you all, please forgive me.

we do forgive you. please, just forgive yourself & keep moving on.
as you love us, we are love, & you are we; & we, you.

peace, john