The four main control dramas

[FooSnik]

aggressive

intimidator - on the verge of exploding, threatening, strict, gave orders, inflexible, angry, self-centered, made you feel afraid.

interrogator - probed to see what you were doing; critical, undermining, needling, infallible logic, sarcasm, monitored you. can be sceptical, sarcastic, self-righteous, perfectionist

passive

poor me - always saw the negative, looked for problems, always talking about being busy or tired, made you feel guilty for not solving her problems. pull attention by sighing, trembling, crying, victim stance

aloof - tended to be distant, busy, away from home, not too interested in your life, unresponsive, secretive, preoccupied.

http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/dramas.htm


so which one do you identify with, if any, and what is the solution to it?

people tell me to search for love and peace within myself. but how do you conquer loneliness by finding peace inside my lone self?

i hold tight to the idea that i will find peace in an open, honest and vulnerable connection with other people and the world. i don't feel like we can truly find all the answers within ourselves.

for me, i see now that i have used both the "poor me" and the "aloof" system of control in the past. i did go through an extremely turbulent childhood and i liked the feeling of people wanting to reach out and take care of me because they knew what i had been through. so i kept doing it and i kept coming to people with another tragic story of something that has happened to me to get that feeling of concern and care that i felt as a child from people.

as i grew up it became more and more pathetic that i was not overcoming the tragedies that caused me to lose my self security at an early age. so what was once my method to get love and sympathy began to work against me. it began to drain the people that loved me and pushed them away. which was exactly the opposite of what i wanted. i wanted a life or death bond with my family and with other people. because, to me, life was/is that serious and painful.

so i crumbled. my weapons to get love were/are exhausted.

and please, please don't say to meditate. seriously, meditation is nice and all but i am talking a deep connection with people to regain a sense of stability and security in the world.

i think one of the major things we are here to learn is not to try to do it all alone. but to depend on others from time to time. to form deep bonds with people. to experience love on a level that only the extreme fear of pain and death can produce.

i am not trying to go emo on you all. just trying to get real with myself and with life.

so what are your thoughts on the matter??

[AllyKat]

so which one do you identify with, if any, and what is the solution to it?

people tell me to search for love and peace within myself. but how do you conquer loneliness by finding peace inside my lone self?


i am not trying to go emo on you all. just trying to get real with myself and with life.

so what are your thoughts on the matter??

on a positive note, i end up telling myself that i need to accept that my ego can't accept certain things in others or myself but i know that our true nature is that of perfection and oneness...wholeness. i accept where i am on my journey back to oneness and strive to love and forgive self and others as much as possible and grow toward truth, raising my vibration. i know i am making progress, however slow it may seem sometimes.

that's all i have to say about that.

:)

[Purple Dragon]

i first came across the control drama philosophy after reading the celestine prophecy, and it really helped bring them into perspective by how the story played out (very well written book, available on an ebook too).

i find that i relate to both the passive dramas, but have also used the interrogator as well. i think just being aware of them helps to overcome them, afterall they are all about controlling others, so if we can make ourselves aware that this is what we are doing, we can break the cycle.


people tell me to search for love and peace within myself. but how do you conquer loneliness by finding peace inside my lone self?

i try to remember that we are never alone, there is always someone/thing listening to us, so if you find yourself lonely, don't be afraid to talk to them. sometimes the answers come out of no where just by asking them


i hold tight to the idea that i will find peace in an open, honest and vulnerable connection with other people and the world. i don't feel like we can truly find all the answers within ourselves.

i think connecting with others is what 3d is all about, sometimes the answers come from our other-selves just as much as they come from within. until we gain telepathy we just need to do it the old fashion way :o


it began to drain the people that loved me and pushed them away. which was exactly the opposite of what i wanted.

by being aware of our control dramas, we can stop draining the energy from others and turn it around and start giving them energy instead, this will surely help bring the important people in your life back. we all feel the connection of love, its just remembering that we can create that connection that is difficult. love creates love, i would say try to focus on the love anytime you feel lonely, for the universe does love everyone and everything, we just need to accept the love and return it.

love & light

pd

[LoveWins]

i can identify with all four actually ....

i've read about all these before, book after book, searching inside myself. sometimes i've had "breakthroughs".. in that i realize i'm either doing one of these four or i'm seeing someone else do it and then from what i've read, i understand that if i can see it in someone else,they are reflecting me? hmm.. not a pretty thought.

anyway, i agree with you definately on the meditation thing, if i focus on that too much, i tend to isolate, which is lately i think my main method of dealing with life in general. i just tend to want to withdraw from others , their dramas, mine... which i have managed to minimize ( i think) , yet i have a really hard time with communications with others.. seems like i either come across wrong, say the wrong thing, or end up feeling like i've screwed up yet again when just trying to get across that i care without appearing somewhat desperate ?


does that even make sense? i fully believe as you said.. we can't do this alone, we shouldn't, i don't think thats the point, although i do believe we must accept responsibility for ourselves and actions and creations, it's really tough to mesh with others and extremely hard in real life to find others ( well impossible actually, i believe the internet is a divine gift for all of us on this journey) that even want to explore the depths of love and what it means..

i feel really like an oddball. everyone around me is concerned with what kind of phone they are gonna get, or how to pay the bills . so am i by the way. actually i resent the mundane things like that .. how screwy is that? lol i would love to spend all my time learning but i must work to take care of the day to day things we all must do in order to live.

sorry to ramble, you really struck a chord with me, i feel very much like you do , yet i don't really have any answers. it's like i'm wanting to go home, and i don't know where "home" is, and i don't know how long i have to wait, but i can feel that home is like being bathed in love. that if i could just connect with others, i might get a taste of what i'm missing.

okay i'm gonna stop.. i don't know that i'm making sense. but thanks for posting your thoughts, and know you are not alone in your musings... :-)

[Creativemerger]

i know that upping your vibration is a great place to start in attracting great experiences. there are various ways to do this. the main thing you would focus on is finding what makes you feel truly happy.

focus on what you want in your life and stop focusing on what you don't have or want.

a higher vibration and focusing on the life you want is a great recipe for happiness!

[eagleye]

these are instructions you can follow to enjoy the benefits of the laws of karma. karma is a two edged sword. you can wield it to cause yourself pain and suffering, or you can learn to use this sword to find the love you seek. you will only ever get what you intend to put out. if you want others to love you deeply, you must first love them. hoping for love will not do the trick. you have to give out love to get it back.


step 1: forgive yourself

step 2: see your self as infinite consciousness

step 3: begin to love your self as the infinite one

step 4: forgive others

step 5: see the infinite consciousness in all other selves also as the one

step 6: reach out to other selves with unconditional love

step 7: enjoy the peace and tranquility that comes with loving your self and others unconditionally

step 8: enjoy the deep love of others as it is drawn to you by the above mentioned actions

loneliness will go away once you attract loving people into your life by following the above instructions. i tell you this as someone who has also walked in the dark valley of loneliness and despair. hope that helps. :)

[conundrum]

yet i have a really hard time with communications with others.. seems like i either come across wrong, say the wrong thing, or end up feeling like i've screwed up yet again when just trying to get across that i care without appearing somewhat desperate ?


and please, please don't say to meditate. seriously, meditation is nice and all but i am talking a deep connection with people to regain a sense of stability and security in the world.


have a gathering in the woods or some natural setting leave all electronic equipment watches ect at home pick a site with adequate seating or make it that every one brings there own chair .
on arrival the only communication aloud is polite eye contact and a smile no staring or verbal communication aloud sit quietly smiling at each other for half an hour then leave at your own leisure its ok to stay longer if you wish just no verbal communication.

[Ewhaz]

the solution has always been to seek and see the god within yourself.

we are all god, but we've forgotten for the sake of learning a little through the difficulties of life. we long to make that connection to other people, to feel that bare heartfelt connection that says simply 'i see you' without judgment and without expectation.

we try finding those things in others, but alas because we are all human and dealing with the human condition, we are all guilty of having judgment and expectation. every connection we make with other people becomes fraught with condradiction as we try to establish that connection and once we see that it fails the test we feel that something is lacking. we are all looking for god in other people.

but we are all god in ourselves too. we attract those things we focus on, and so if we focus on the sense of lack and lonelyness we will only find things that reflect that. it is only until we turn inside and see that perfect love and acceptance for ourselves and from ourselves that we begin to understand what it is we are seeking from others.

i'm guilty of it myself, i long for that connection to other people and that desire has caused me to do things that might be morally questionable. i recognize it now, and i try to stay aware of it. i allow that knowledge to help me act rather than react to that feeling of longing and desire. i become conscious of it and instead of letting it lead me, i choose a path for myself. i take control of my destiny, i become the god of my own life and dismantle the control drama.

i constantly try to turn within. to that feeling of longing for love and acceptance, i say to myself 'i love and accept you' and it brings me joy and fills the void. not that i am able to do this for all time mind you, i'm still human and end up suffering and grumbling from time to time, but i've learned to laugh at myself during those times too. beautifully flawed.

[Berry Chastain]

pd,
thanks brother, i was going to post the same information regarding the celestine prophecy being the source of those control drama concepts. and as you said, in the insights it indicates that becoming aware of our particular dramas is the way to overcome them and use them for positive outcomes.
also, the becoming aware of the synchronicities in life is the other big key to finding our own pathway, purpose and peace.

[FooSnik]

i can identify with all four actually ....

i've read about all these before, book after book, searching inside myself. sometimes i've had "breakthroughs".. in that i realize i'm either doing one of these four or i'm seeing someone else do it and then from what i've read, i understand that if i can see it in someone else,they are reflecting me? hmm.. not a pretty thought.

anyway, i agree with you definately on the meditation thing, if i focus on that too much, i tend to isolate, which is lately i think my main method of dealing with life in general. i just tend to want to withdraw from others , their dramas, mine... which i have managed to minimize ( i think) , yet i have a really hard time with communications with others.. seems like i either come across wrong, say the wrong thing, or end up feeling like i've screwed up yet again when just trying to get across that i care without appearing somewhat desperate ?


does that even make sense? i fully believe as you said.. we can't do this alone, we shouldn't, i don't think thats the point, although i do believe we must accept responsibility for ourselves and actions and creations, it's really tough to mesh with others and extremely hard in real life to find others ( well impossible actually, i believe the internet is a divine gift for all of us on this journey) that even want to explore the depths of love and what it means..

i feel really like an oddball. everyone around me is concerned with what kind of phone they are gonna get, or how to pay the bills . so am i by the way. actually i resent the mundane things like that .. how screwy is that? lol i would love to spend all my time learning but i must work to take care of the day to day things we all must do in order to live.

sorry to ramble, you really struck a chord with me, i feel very much like you do , yet i don't really have any answers. it's like i'm wanting to go home, and i don't know where "home" is, and i don't know how long i have to wait, but i can feel that home is like being bathed in love. that if i could just connect with others, i might get a taste of what i'm missing.

okay i'm gonna stop.. i don't know that i'm making sense. but thanks for posting your thoughts, and know you are not alone in your musings... :-)

can't we all just sit around the camp fire and talk?? i don't have the time to say everything i want to about the posts i have read.

so, allycat... you know me and we are pratically best friends already. what you said is true but i am going through something different.

pd.. you always speak with wisdom.


sorry to ramble, you really struck a chord with me, i feel very much like you do , yet i don't really have any answers. it's like i'm wanting to go home, and i don't know where "home" is, and i don't know how long i have to wait, but i can feel that home is like being bathed in love. that if i could just connect with others, i might get a taste of what i'm missing.

lovewins... the answer, i truely feel, is inside of you and me. it is not in whatever planet me and you may be from originally. it is with open and honest trust and communication between other human beings on this planet that we live on right here and right now.

i truely belive that and i have friends that have done it before me. i am waking up.

peace and love...
foosnik

[aqcheryl]

i think you are getting the answer, coming to it.

i also think it is a misnomer, the ideology that only you can forgive yourself, heal yourself, love yourself etc. sometimes we need another to show us. the reason is because we are all connected we are all entwined.

sometimes my own past bears down on me, and i begin to feel despair at where im at now or what might have been, and such - and especially in this state, meditation simply is not the answer, because you just cant quiet your mind.

i know this may be wrong, but honestly the only way i get past these moments is avoidance. stop dwelling on it, and stop giving credence to my past. the past is the past, it cannot be changed, its only recurring in my mind - if it stopped replaying there, then it truly does not exist. think on other things, put my mind on other subjects until the moment passes. thats what i do. i doubt thats healing anything but sometimes its all anyone of us can do.

if it gets really bad that i cant avoid it, then im tough on myself. like - stop complaining, stop whining, stop giving it credence. look at the positive you do have, be grateful and appreciative for what you do have. that there are people who do not have a roof over their heads in the cold winter nights, that do not have a secure environment, they do not know when their next meal will be, etc. and when i remind myself of this, it does make my past seem petty, because i come to realize that in the past it may have been others responsible for events but its my responsibility to not relive them. if they still affect me i am the one abusing myself.

perhaps its not the end goal we are seeking that is the answer, but rather the journey we are taking in seeking it.

[FooSnik]

i think you are getting the answer, coming to it.

i also think it is a misnomer, the ideology that only you can forgive yourself, heal yourself, love yourself etc. sometimes we need another to show us. the reason is because we are all connected we are all entwined.

yes... i agree. yes yes. sometimes you need another to show us. love us. yes.


sometimes my own past bears down on me, and i begin to feel despair at where im at now or what might have been, and such - and especially in this state, meditation simply is not the answer, because you just cant quiet your mind.


i truly feel the answer is in that song... "lean on me". lean on me when your not strong. it is in the trust and the bond with other human beings. trust that i will be there when you get weak. and vice versa.


i know this may be wrong, but honestly the only way i get past these moments is avoidance. stop dwelling on it, and stop giving credence to my past. the past is the past, it cannot be changed, its only recurring in my mind - if it stopped replaying there, then it truly does not exist. think on other things, put my mind on other subjects until the moment passes. thats what i do. i doubt thats healing anything but sometimes its all anyone of us can do.


but, to play devil's advocate, you must give credence to the past or else history repeats itself. which it did for me for 32 years. i have long since forgiven my father. but i picked up some really bad habits for going about getting love when i was a kid. and now that is starting to change.

but how do we get love without demanding it or taking it like a theif??


if it gets really bad that i cant avoid it, then im tough on myself. like - stop complaining, stop whining, stop giving it credence. look at the positive you do have, be grateful and appreciative for what you do have. that there are people who do not have a roof over their heads in the cold winter nights, that do not have a secure environment, they do not know when their next meal will be, etc. and when i remind myself of this, it does make my past seem petty, because i come to realize that in the past it may have been others responsible for events but its my responsibility to not relive them. if they still affect me i am the one abusing myself.

i have a social worker that calls that "cognitive therapy". like having a rubber band on your wrist and every time you think something negative you snap the rubber band. or electric shock therapy. never worked for me.

i feel the answer is to open up, reach out, find people to love and to be loved. watch out for each other.


perhaps its not the end goal we are seeking that is the answer, but rather the journey we are taking in seeking it.


hmmmm.... maybe you are right. i guess i don't want the journey to end. i just don't want it to be so bumpy and scarey anymore. maybe?

i have to think about this a little more.

[Purple Dragon]

but how do we get love without demanding it or taking it like a theif??

to quote from the celestine prophecy (seems suitable with the discussion on control dramas :))


“you do not make yourself love,” he said. “you allow love to enter you. but to do this you must position your mind by remembering what it felt like and try to feel it again.”

i think this refers to the fact that love is all around us, always. we just need to tune ourselves into it and it will naturally come to us. if we are with another person we should focus more on offering our love to them, not expecting anything in return. i think when we expect to be loved, that's when our control dramas kick in to try and take the love from them.

for myself, when if i am in a position where i don't "feel the love", i try to close my eyes (if the situation permits it) and listen to the earth, feel the energy around slowly enter my body, then release it back (in with a breath, out with the exhale). focusing on this for a minute or two usually helps me re-connect with the emotion / remember the feeling which usually puts me back at peace.

love & light

pd

[Palehorse Redivivus]

foosnik,

what i would recommend, is working directly on your heart chakra. stimulate it, make sure it's open, imagine and intend connecting with others directly from it. (anybody remember the care bear stare? :p ) this is basically your "love organ" -- it processes, gives and receives. much like a physical organ, if it's in bad shape due to abuse or a history of unintended misuse, those functions will be hindered. if you've had a lot of trauma and/or have felt cut off from love since early on, there are likely blockages there regardless of whether you feel that you're a reasonably loving person *now*. this doesn't say anything about your inherent worthiness anymore than having an unhealthy physical organ would; it's just a "mechanical" issue in need of fixing. :) if the energetic component is in good health, everything else tends to follow from that.

[larissa]

i have reached the end of trying to do anything to fix myself. all those years of doing this and that and desperately seeking seeking seeking. i've spent the last year going around to conferences listening to my favorite teachers, and just letting their words sink in, without doing anything they suggested, in fact, my favorite teachers are the ones that do say, just let go and let it happen, stop trying.

so this is a suggestion to stop taking suggestions, lovely paradox. it's just what works for me. i've found that without having to do anything, other than respond to each situation as it comes up, i've moved on into a place where everything is starting to make sense, the pieces of the puzzle are coming together, more and more i know who i am and what i'm doing here, and synchronicity is no longer just a word.

i still get terribly depressed, then lo and behold, the next day it is all changed. i go up and down, but don't let it bother me. it just is what it is. i emailed a friend the other day telling him i go through pockets of depression, and he wrote back, sow the pockets, problem solved.

i wanted to ask him, how do you sow pockets? instead i get this weird feeling that there is something behind those words. or maybe not. doesn't matter.

i just got back on dc after a long time away, and yours is the first thread i read. i remember you, back a couple of years ago.

nice to listen to you (i hear you, like in the movie avatar). lots and lots of people relate to you, maybe you can take comfort in that.

love, larissa

[FooSnik]

nice to listen to you (i hear you, like in the movie avatar). lots and lots of people relate to you, maybe you can take comfort in that.

love, larissa

that, i think, is what i wanted to hear the most.

"i hear you and lots of people relate to you." and i do take comfort in that. i am just doing my best to get really deep and real with myself and see what feedback i get. i am tired of holding stuff in and the only way i can grow and evolve is to say how i feel and then listen to the feedback.

and i remember you too larissa. welcome back! :) i haven't been able to get away from this forum. i like it here too much.

thank you pd and palehorse redivivus for your advice.

i think i have been so tense and defensive that i failed to form normal, healthy bonds with people and so i guess i am kind of reaching out here on this forum for that reason.

not to suck love out of you all like a vampire but to form bonds in which it will be a healthy give-take.

make sense?

[transiten]

foosnik and larissa

i'm an avid "sayhowifeeladdict" too, but in the end i think emotional honesty is the only way to liberation. sometimes though it might suffice just to admit it to "yourself"= nobody knows the trouble i've seen, nobody knows but jesus.......

i also can relate to the "not trying to fix yourself" -state of mind/emotion. i think this is a process though and that one cannot jump any of the stages to reach to this point.

:)nny greetings from transiten in gothenburg

[Starfire]

everybody here has great advice, i would like to address this one particular question



but how do we get love without demanding it or taking it like a theif??


the love you get is equal to the love you give - i think that is from a song or a famous quote from somewhere. but that is the truth. as so many philosophies state: what we perceive out in the world is really a reflection/mirror of what we project out there. to find that deep connection with others project the love that is within you out there. unconditional love sees love in all living things without judgement that is how to connect with others and find the love you seek. now this can be done moment to moment, practice loving everyone you meet, if you think they are unloving it doesn't matter simply forgive them and look past the conditions that make them seem unloving. and of course it is not practical in 3d here to walk up to people on the street and tell them you love them, what you think in your mind is what counts. every moment you have the opportunity to get love by giving love.
if you are looking for that one person who may be your soul mate that may or may not happen, that is up to the grand plan. but if you forget to give love you may miss that opportunity to connect with that one.
it does take practice, but that is what we are here for.
i try and believe me i often forget to live by one rule: i have no enemies.
well i hope this helps and i am also very grateful to all the loving people here on this forum, thank you all and i love you all.

:)starfire

[FooSnik]

foosnik and larissa

i'm an avid "sayhowifeeladdict" too, but in the end i think emotional honesty is the only way to liberation. sometimes though it might suffice just to admit it to "yourself"= nobody knows the trouble i've seen, nobody knows but jesus.......

i also can relate to the "not trying to fix yourself" -state of mind/emotion. i think this is a process though and that one cannot jump any of the stages to reach to this point.

:)nny greetings from transiten in gothenburg

transiten... you are speaking in riddles. you say you are a sayhowyoufeeladdict then you say "but, i think emotional honesty is the only way to liberation."

the only way for the process to proceed through the levels is through emotional honesty. it is through not holding it back. have courage. say it. and then read the feedback. then adjust your thought patterns like wise.

as for me... i don't speak or feel a self righteous attitude. i don't think the things that come out of my mouth is right. i just say it. and then i see what people say about it. that is how i grow.

i don't try to say the "right" things because that is like lying. that is just saying what people want to hear. but that doesn't help you/me/us grow. that just gets us all deeper into confusion.

so just be true and say how you feel and don't feel bad about it. grow, love and learn.

we all start from zero. we all start from confusion. that is the nature of this crazy place we live in.

love and pce :d

[transiten]

foosnik


i am not contradicting you here....

i mean that sometimes even "telling how you feel" can be an addiction even if i think most of the time it is the best thing to do. and actually i am contradicting myself here since very often i do not dare to say how i feel for fear of punishment.

that said it sometimes requires shadowdigging to be honest to onerself and admitting how you feel, since our true feelings like sorrow, shame and depression are often supressed, like if you feel hurt you cannot admit it and it comes out in a perverted way as despise wrath and agression.

keep on digging the fertile black soil of yur shadow

transiten

[FooSnik]

foosnik


i am not contradicting you here....

i mean that sometimes even "telling how you feel" can be an addiction even if i think most of the time it is the best thing to do. and actually i am contradicting myself here since very often i do not dare to say how i feel for fear of punishment.

that said it sometimes requires shadowdigging to be honest to onerself and admitting how you feel, since our true feelings like sorrow, shame and depression are often supressed, like if you feel hurt you cannot admit it and it comes out in a perverted way as despise wrath and agression.

keep on digging the fertile black soil of yur shadow

transiten

it is only an "addiction" when you are saying stuff to get the high from the reaction out of people. it is productive when you say real stuff and learn from the reactions. big difference.

i think by saying how we feel and learn from the feedback we all continue to move to the all seeing eye that i got tattooed on my arm when i was 16 and didn't even know what it was.

the pinnacle of liberation.

the point of convergence when we all understand our separate points of view.

let me shut up now.

transiten... i would like to add you to my list of good friends that i have made here if you don't mind. i don't come here for an addiction. i come here for friends. :d

[meganarline]

the love you get is equal to the love you give - i think that is from a song or a famous quote from somewhere.



the end
------the beatles

oh yeah, all right
are you going to be in my dreams
tonight?

and in the end
the love you take
is equal to the love you make.

i'm not sure if that is the song you were thinking of, but there are the lyrics just in case.

[transiten]

it is only an "addiction" when you are saying stuff to get the high from the reaction out of people. it is productive when you say real stuff and learn from the reactions. big difference.

i think by saying how we feel and learn from the feedback we all continue to move to the all seeing eye that i got tattooed on my arm when i was 16 and didn't even know what it was.

the pinnacle of liberation.

the point of convergence when we all understand our separate points of view.

let me shut up now.

transiten... i would like to add you to my list of good friends that i have made here if you don't mind. i don't come here for an addiction. i come here for friends. :d

sure foosnik, add me to your list i'd be honoured!

i actually told a friend of mine in an e-mail exactly how i felt (she wouldn't answer her mobile for over a week after a misunderstanding, hanging up) and we regained contact before she read it....and now we're on speaking terms again. not that she wanted to talk about her own actions or reactions but rome was not built in one day.

i told another friend exactly how i felt and her reaction was very negative. she is almost always late, and that can be up til 1 hour and as i adressed her she would not even admit that there is a problem ...just have to wait and see and watch my own feelings and reactions. what did i do wrong? i told her i don't feel respected and now the telephone is silent. there are layers and layers of feelings here, a lot to learn, to forgive and forget...

i'm still not sure that one should always tell about one's feelings....i have to ponder that for a while:confused:

transiten

[FooSnik]

sure foosnik, add me to your list i'd be honoured!

i actually told a friend of mine in an e-mail exactly how i felt (she wouldn't answer her mobile for over a week after a misunderstanding, hanging up) and we regained contact before she read it....and now we're on speaking terms again. not that she wanted to talk about her own actions or reactions but rome was not built in one day.

i told another friend exactly how i felt and her reaction was very negative. she is almost always late, and that can be up til 1 hour and as i adressed her she would not even admit that there is a problem ...just have to wait and see and watch my own feelings and reactions. what did i do wrong? i told her i don't feel respected and now the telephone is silent. there are layers and layers of feelings here, a lot to learn, to forgive and forget...

i'm still not sure that one should always tell about one's feelings....i have to ponder that for a while:confused:

transiten

all i can say is don't be afraid of the reactions and don't think, transiten, that you are always right. because maybe your friend might be right.

and maybe you are right. transiten... you are very wise so i am guessing most of the time you have valid points.

my thing is, don't keep it in. because to keep it in is way worse then just to say how you feel and then have it to be wrong. keep it in and progress does not happen. keep it in and anger and confusion happens. just say it!

then pm and we will talk about it and stuff. then talk to me about it and move on.

dust your shoulder off lady!

:d

[FooSnik]

all i can say is don't be afraid of the reactions and don't think, transiten, that you are always right. because maybe your friend might be right.

and maybe you are right. transiten... you are very wise so i am guessing most of the time you have valid points.

my thing is, don't keep it in. because to keep it in is way worse then just to say how you feel and then have it to be wrong. keep it in and progress does not happen. keep it in and anger and confusion happens. just say it!

then pm and we will talk about it and stuff. then talk to me about it and move on.

dust your shoulder off lady!

:d

but let me step back for a second and say that life is a very delicate balance. sometimes you shouldn't say how you feel right away. sometimes you have to pull your punches and choose your battles.

"timing is the mark of a genius." i can't remember where i read that. but i did somewhere. i swear!

[transiten]

foo and the rest of you

welcome to paradox...my favourite "invention";)

it's not either or, it's both and..as the saying goes in sweden.

the only thing we know for sure is that nothing is for sure...

transiten

[FooSnik]

foo and the rest of you

welcome to paradox...my favourite "invention";)

it's not either or, it's both and..as the saying goes in sweden.

the only thing we know for sure is that nothing is for sure...

transiten

yup

agreed

the paradox is so maddening sometimes.

sometimes i feel like a dog that likes to chase his tail around in circles. i am not gonna lie. i love this whole dramatice crazy world we live in.

:d