Polarities-shadow-neutrality [Archive] - Divine Cosmos Discussions

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Mingo42271@...

12-12-2001, 06:44 AM

hello, karen, wow. to feel no emotion over something you normally would is really something. seems like i've only gotten to the point where i don't "react" negative in certain negative situations. but it is certainly felt on the inside which i'm sure some people can see through. so now with your input i can try to be more aware of the emotions that affect me with different situations and work on neutralizing them. thanks, donna

in a message dated 12/12/01 10:39:38 am pacific standard time, difrt@aol.com writes:

<blockquote type="cite" style="border-left: #0000ff 2px solid; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; padding-left: 5px">dear all,

this has been such a wonderful discussion about polartities
or the dark side verses the light side.
jeremy, as always, great insights and input.
i'm with donna. this is something that i have been invest-

igating and contemplating for quite a while now. it's my
major thing too. it's hard to admit or to face that my reality

really is me that i am mirroring back to myself. it wasn't hard when
i didn't realize it. hey, it was all them, not me.... i thought i
was this loving, gentle, knowing individual through and
through. i would never judge another, condem another, hurt another.
not me. wrong!

what i am beginning to realize is that it takes great courage
to begin to actually "look" at ourselves. there seems to be a wall
there. it doesn't feel comfortable. but when we or i do,

man the payoff doesn't hurt at all. you can actually feel the

calmness or neutrality.

example-- a while back i was on the porch giving my daughter a good-

bye kiss. my favorite terra pot filled with beautiful red begonias

was sitting on the edge of a chair waiting for me to bring it

in and repot it for the winter. my daughter backed up and crash,

the pot broke as it hit the floor. three months ago i would
have said "oh no, my favorite pot!" the feeling of sadness would have
flowed in and i would have definately felt sorry for myself. but
instead i felt absolutely nothing. i actually sensed no emotion. the
funny thing was that i actually felt myself feeling nothing. i was
consciously aware of my neutrality.
i know this is a silly story but i truly believe that the "no
emotion" is what we are striving for here. sounds kind of like a
boring way to live but like pat said in a past post(say that fast
four times:) pat- "in order to balance something negative, we have a
shorter span to cover going from neutral to positive, as opposed to
negative to postitive."
so, the next question that comes to my mind is, "if my broken pot
experience brought on the feeling of neutrality or no emotion, why
did i <sense> no emotion, why did i <feel> myself feeling nothing,
why was i <consciously aware> of my neutrality?" from somewhere the
answer comes "this is where your center is. remember this feeling for
you will use it and integrate it. its where your able to be."

feels good to me:)

love,

karen

</blockquote>

karena83540

12-12-2001, 10:39 AM

dear all,

this has been such a wonderful discussion about polartities
or the dark side verses the light side.
jeremy, as always, great insights and input.
i'm with donna. this is something that i have been invest-
igating and contemplating for quite a while now. it's my
major thing too. it's hard to admit or to face that my reality
really is me that i am mirroring back to myself. it wasn't hard when
i didn't realize it. hey, it was all them, not me.... i thought i
was this loving, gentle, knowing individual through and
through. i would never judge another, condem another, hurt another.
not me. wrong!
what i am beginning to realize is that it takes great courage
to begin to actually "look" at ourselves. there seems to be a wall
there. it doesn't feel comfortable. but when we or i do,
man the payoff doesn't hurt at all. you can actually feel the
calmness or neutrality.
example-- a while back i was on the porch giving my daughter a good-
bye kiss. my favorite terra pot filled with beautiful red begonias
was sitting on the edge of a chair waiting for me to bring it
in and repot it for the winter. my daughter backed up and crash,
the pot broke as it hit the floor. three months ago i would
have said "oh no, my favorite pot!" the feeling of sadness would have
flowed in and i would have definately felt sorry for myself. but
instead i felt absolutely nothing. i actually sensed no emotion. the
funny thing was that i actually felt myself feeling nothing. i was
consciously aware of my neutrality.
i know this is a silly story but i truly believe that the "no
emotion" is what we are striving for here. sounds kind of like a
boring way to live but like pat said in a past post(say that fast
four times:) pat- "in order to balance something negative, we have a
shorter span to cover going from neutral to positive, as opposed to
negative to postitive."
so, the next question that comes to my mind is, "if my broken pot
experience brought on the feeling of neutrality or no emotion, why
did i <sense> no emotion, why did i <feel> myself feeling nothing,
why was i <consciously aware> of my neutrality?" from somewhere the
answer comes "this is where your center is. remember this feeling for
you will use it and integrate it. its where your able to be."

feels good to me:)

love,
karen

Jeremy Weiland

12-13-2001, 09:17 AM

sorry guys, i got finals going on and stayed up till
6:30am the other night working on a paper... so i'm
way behind in keeping up with this. which sucks
because it is really cool to be a part of this
discussion. i always knew this list had the potential
to be a medium for the kind of learning that we're
experiencing.

so anyway...

> major thing too. it's hard to admit or to face that
> my reality
> really is me that i am mirroring back to myself. it
> wasn't hard when i didn't realize it.

one of the things i really have been noticing lately
is that, once you reach a certain point of
understanding your own patterns of negative or
undesirable behavior, it really is impossible to
return to them. you can get mad at others still of
course, but you're never able to do it as comfortably.

this is good, it means you care more about your
development than your comfort. that's not a bad
quality to have.

> what i am beginning to realize is that it takes
> great courage
> to begin to actually "look" at ourselves. there
> seems to be a wall
> there. it doesn't feel comfortable. but when we or i
> do,
> man the payoff doesn't hurt at all. you can actually
> feel the
> calmness or neutrality.

word. think about the most anger you've ever felt
against anyone, ever. now imagine *yourself* as the
target of that anger, and you get an idea of what
we've been doing to *ourselves* this whole time and
what a relief it's going to be when we can just stop
judging altogether. :-)

> i know this is a silly story but i truly believe
> that the "no
> emotion" is what we are striving for here. sounds
> kind of like a
> boring way to live

well, yeah, i agree. it does sound like a boring way
to live. i'm not sure what we're striving for is
emotional neutrality, however. i mean, ra is very
definately filled with love and sadness and wonder -
at least that's what they mention in tloo. i think
maybe what we need is to realize that emotions are not
obstacles to be overcome. it's more like, emotions
are signs to yourself. it's kind of like what ayn
rand says: emotions are how you evaluate whether you
hold the right premises.

we'll never be able to quell emotion without losing
something about us that is human. what we can do is
use that emotion to amend our conception of reality
and our place in it. like if you are angry with
somebody because they reflected a part of yourself
back to you that you have not integrated, then the
point is not to just not be mad about it, but rather
to think about why it makes you mad, what it is about
that quality that you don't like. an emotion is kind
of like an invitation to investigate a facet of
yourself.

> so, the next question that comes to my mind is, "if
> my broken pot
> experience brought on the feeling of neutrality or
> no emotion, why
> did i <sense> no emotion, why did i <feel> myself
> feeling nothing,
> why was i <consciously aware> of my neutrality?"

i don't know. maybe because you're making progress.
it's a great release to not be emotionally slaved to
the outside world though.

i mean, it *is* just a pot. :-)

> from somewhere the
> answer comes "this is where your center is. remember
> this feeling for
> you will use it and integrate it. its where your
> able to be."

i would listen to that voice. :-)

jeremy

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Mingo42271@...

12-16-2001, 09:19 AM

hi jeremy, i enjoyed relating to what you wrote. especially when you said it's a good thing to care more about your development than you're comfort. also when you said to think about why someone makes you mad. i've been doing that so much lately. i need some help with this one though: one pattern i've noticed within myself is that i have difficulty with people who are control freaks. i have never been a control freak. i am the opposite. and the irony of it all is that i married one. my husband is a controller but not real bad. he has been a great teacher for me to stand up for myself. i keep thinking about it and wonder what i'm supposed to be learning when i'm subjected to an overbearing individual. is it possible that instead of a mirroring experience that i'm supposed to become more assertive? i've always had a problem with being more assertive with people. otherwise it would mean that i'm also a control freak and i'm just too blind too see it. thanks for listening. donna

subj: re: [asc2k] polarities-shadow-neutrality
date: 12/13/01 9:17:48 am pacific standard time
from: greenlantern113@yahoo.com (jeremy weiland)

sorry guys, i got finals going on and stayed up till

6:30am the other night working on a paper... so i'm

way behind in keeping up with this. which sucks

because it is really cool to be a part of this

discussion. i always knew this list had the potential

to be a medium for the kind of learning that we're

experiencing.

so anyway...

> major thing too. it's hard to admit or to face that

> my reality

> really is me that i am mirroring back to myself. it

> wasn't hard when i didn't realize it.

one of the things i really have been noticing lately

is that, once you reach a certain point of

understanding your own patterns of negative or

undesirable behavior, it really is impossible to

return to them. you can get mad at others still of

course, but you're never able to do it as comfortably.

this is good, it means you care more about your

development than your comfort. that's not a bad

quality to have.

> what i am beginning to realize is that it takes

> great courage
> to begin to actually "look" at ourselves. there

> seems to be a wall
> there. it doesn't feel comfortable. but when we or i

> do,

> man the payoff doesn't hurt at all. you can actually

> feel the

> calmness or neutrality.

word. think about the most anger you've ever felt

against anyone, ever. now imagine *yourself* as the

target of that anger, and you get an idea of what

we've been doing to *ourselves* this whole time and

what a relief it's going to be when we can just stop

judging altogether. :-)

> i know this is a silly story but i truly believe

> that the "no
> emotion" is what we are striving for here. sounds

> kind of like a
> boring way to live

well, yeah, i agree. it does sound like a boring way

to live. i'm not sure what we're striving for is

emotional neutrality, however. i mean, ra is very

definately filled with love and sadness and wonder -

at least that's what they mention in tloo. i think

maybe what we need is to realize that emotions are not

obstacles to be overcome. it's more like, emotions

are signs to yourself. it's kind of like what ayn

rand says: emotions are how you evaluate whether you

hold the right premises.

we'll never be able to quell emotion without losing

something about us that is human. what we can do is

use that emotion to amend our conception of reality

and our place in it. like if you are angry with

somebody because they reflected a part of yourself

back to you that you have not integrated, then the

point is not to just not be mad about it, but rather

to think about why it makes you mad, what it is about

that quality that you don't like. an emotion is kind

of like an invitation to investigate a facet of

yourself.

> so, the next question that comes to my mind is, "if

> my broken pot
> experience brought on the feeling of neutrality or

> no emotion, why
> did i <sense> no emotion, why did i <feel> myself

> feeling nothing,
> why was i <consciously aware> of my neutrality?"

i don't know. maybe because you're making progress.
it's a great release to not be emotionally slaved to

the outside world though.

i mean, it *is* just a pot. :-)

> from somewhere the
> answer comes "this is where your center is. remember

> this feeling for
> you will use it and integrate it. its where your

> able to be."

i would listen to that voice. :-)

jeremy